Cycling and bicycle discussion forums. 
   Click here to join our community Log in to access your Control Panel  


Go Back   > >

Foo Off-Topic chit chat with no general subject.

View Poll Results: What would you do if cheated on
Kill him/her 7 9.86%
End relationship quietly 38 53.52%
End relationship with a bang 20 28.17%
Cheat Back 7 9.86%
Ask permission to join in 14 19.72%
Ignore it 5 7.04%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 71. You may not vote on this poll

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 01-22-09, 01:56 AM   #1
RubenX 
Look! My Spine!
Thread Starter
 
RubenX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Kissimmee, FL
Bikes:
Posts: 619
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
What would you do if cheated on?

Not my case ATM thanks God. It happened on previous relationships tho... so the options are

1) Kill him/her
2) End relationship quietly
3) End relationship with a bang
4) Cheat back.
5) Ask permission to join in
6) Ignore it

What would you do?
(multiple choices are possible)
RubenX is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 02:49 AM   #2
Abacus
Decrepit Member
 
Abacus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Sydney, Australia
Bikes: 2003 Trek 520, 1996 Trek 370, 1996 Bianchi Osprey, too many others.
Posts: 309
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Kick the slitch to the kerb.
Abacus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 03:36 AM   #3
mustang1
Senior Member
 
mustang1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: London, UK
Bikes: 2006 road bike, 2012 cx bike, 2012 carbon rb, 2014 hardtail
Posts: 2,714
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wouldn't so much ask permission to join in, I just would.
mustang1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 07:36 AM   #4
DallasSoxFan
Scan Me
 
DallasSoxFan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Bikes: 2009 Trek 2.3, 2010 Specialized Secteur Sport
Posts: 771
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Let me start by saying that I KNOW this will cause a flame war of me against, well, everyone. I'm also assuming marriage as the type of relationship.

I vote "Figure out what I did to drive her away and reconcile"

The truth of what I'm saying is that my wife's response to me and our marriage is directly causal to my response to her and our marriage. If I love her well (love here is a verb, not a noun) then she will not fill her needs elsewhere. That may be a need for compassion, attention, being valued, being desired, etc.

However, if I ignore her, take her for granted, and become increasing more isolated and detached from her, she will respond in kind.

Please note that this doesn't work unless she has the same perspective. She must also love me well, but that should be her natural response to me. It is also my duty to take the higher road and if she isn't loving me well not to respond in kind and instead love her even better.
DallasSoxFan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 07:40 AM   #5
Tude 
Blasted Weeds
 
Tude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Rochester, NY
Bikes: Trek 1200C, Specialized Rockhopper, Giant Yukon FX, Giant Acapulco
Posts: 1,182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hmmmmmm after admitting that I ended and restarted my relationship with my ex-husband at least 8 times - and finding him with Boobette a couple times and the other Bimbo one or more times, I ended quietly --- and other times I ... blew up. Yes, Mr. Bar Owner - I'm the wild blond who just tossed a couple motorcycle helmets across the street, may have body slammed a motorcycle into a wall and perhaps done the watusi on a cell phone on the sidewalk. Ahhhh alcohol ... not a good mix into a bad relationship ... and with each start/end it seemed to escalate. Till I said No more.
__________________
Tude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 07:58 AM   #6
no1mad
Thunder Whisperer
 
no1mad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NE OK
Bikes: '06 Kona Smoke
Posts: 8,741
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 133 Post(s)
It depends, but I don't think ignoring it is an option. Generally though, cheating will lead to a dissolution of the relationship. It did with my first *serious* relationship (engaged).

If you think that it is an affair, beware.
If it turns out that there were numerous times with multiple partners, get out. Get checked out.

In any event, the cheater disrespected the victim. More importantly, they broke their trust, which is awfully hard to regain.
__________________
Community guidelines
no1mad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 07:59 AM   #7
ModoVincere
Riding Heaven's Highways on the grand tour
 
ModoVincere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Bikes:
Posts: 1,675
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren View Post
Join in, then end it with a bang.

It isn't cheating if he tells me about it beforehand, and if he can't follow that simple rule his ass deserves to be on the curb.

What are you doing this friday night?
__________________
1 bronze, 0 silver, 1 gold
ModoVincere is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 08:01 AM   #8
lodi781
was kung-fu fighting
 
lodi781's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Connecticut
Bikes: '00 schwinn moab disk/06 specialized stumpy fsr expert, 06 look565
Posts: 72
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
walk...
lodi781 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 08:02 AM   #9
CliftonGK1
Senior Member
 
CliftonGK1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Columbus, OH
Bikes: '08 Surly Cross-Check, 2011 Redline Conquest Pro, 2012 Spesh FSR Comp EVO, 2015 Trek Domane 6.2 disc
Posts: 11,380
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I voted for "end it quietly" and "end it with a bang". It's possible to do both, because the impact of that "bang" doesn't need to be a public spectacle.

My ex did cheat on me; one of many reasons why she's the ex now. I didn't yell, I didn't throw things, I didn't demand to know who he was. None of that. I took a day off from work, found a new apartment, and told her when I was moving out.
I left her all the mismatched furniture, the stereo and TV, and her cats (which I never wanted in the first place.) I packed my things into a van and moved quietly with the help of some friends, and even then, the ex didn't see the repercussions: She had no job. The lease was ending on the apartment. I wasn't going to be paying for everything anymore.
She quickly came to realize that I wasn't such a bad guy to have around, but I had no interest in going back. Aside from communication through my lawyer, she got an old fashioned Amish shunning. I took her off all my instant messenger and social network contact lists, blocked her number on my phone, returned mail which wasn't sent through my lawyer, and found out that w/o my asking, many of my friends did the same.
In the course of drawing up the final papers, she got nothing besides what I left her with when I moved out. A friend of mine told me the impact was drastic. She can't hold a job, has a horrible apartment in a terrible part of town, and has seen a string of failed relationships (both romantic, and in driving away those who used to be her friends.)

Huge "bang", but I didn't make a public spectacle of it. Quietly letting someone's life collapse is effective enough.
CliftonGK1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 08:04 AM   #10
Hickeydog
Crushing souls
 
Hickeydog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Sagamore Hills, Ohio.
Bikes: Trek 1500
Posts: 1,591
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
well, seeing as that I woulnd't be in a relationshipp....
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post

What's frightening is how coherent Hickey was in posting that.
Hickeydog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 08:04 AM   #11
no1mad
Thunder Whisperer
 
no1mad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NE OK
Bikes: '06 Kona Smoke
Posts: 8,741
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 133 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by DallasSoxFan View Post
Let me start by saying that I KNOW this will cause a flame war of me against, well, everyone. I'm also assuming marriage as the type of relationship.

I vote "Figure out what I did to drive her away and reconcile"

The truth of what I'm saying is that my wife's response to me and our marriage is directly causal to my response to her and our marriage. If I love her well (love here is a verb, not a noun) then she will not fill her needs elsewhere. That may be a need for compassion, attention, being valued, being desired, etc.

However, if I ignore her, take her for granted, and become increasing more isolated and detached from her, she will respond in kind.

Please note that this doesn't work unless she has the same perspective. She must also love me well, but that should be her natural response to me. It is also my duty to take the higher road and if she isn't loving me well not to respond in kind and instead love her even better.
Agreed. No flames from me.
__________________
Community guidelines
no1mad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 08:21 AM   #12
MissKristen 
Go Buckeyes!
 
MissKristen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Columbus, Ohio. Powell.
Bikes: Fuji road bike and a totally crap MTB that I use(d) for gnarly trail riding.
Posts: 548
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've never cheated and I dont *think* I've been cheated on... but I voted "end quietly". You only make yourself look like a jackass when you throw a tantrum, IMO. I'd totally pull a move like Clifton... just quietly but effectively remove myself from their life and cut all ties. I can't ever imagine myself taking back someone who cheated on me; I'd never forget what he did and it'd end up ruining the relationship anyway.
__________________
No matter what happens now
You shouldn't be afraid
Because I know today has been the most perfect day I've ever seen.

- Videotape

R A D I O H E A D
MissKristen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 08:49 AM   #13
SingingSabre 
BF's Level 12 Wizard
 
SingingSabre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Tucson, AZ
Bikes: Diamondback Sorrento turned Xtracycle commuter
Posts: 1,425
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by DallasSoxFan View Post
I vote "Figure out what I did to drive her away and reconcile"
+1

9/10 times it'll have to end in a split, but it's nice to get the chance to learn and grow from it.
__________________
Shameless plug (my sites):
Work
Photography
Vanity
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bklyn
Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.
SingingSabre is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 09:00 AM   #14
timmhaan
more ape than man
 
timmhaan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: nyc
Bikes:
Posts: 8,093
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
i'd settle for a sham marriage... one of convenience where we can sleep with whomever we want and we both know what's going on.
timmhaan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 10:03 AM   #15
KingTermite 
On my TARDIScycle!
 
KingTermite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Eastside Seattlite Termite Mound
Bikes: Trek 520, Trek Navigator 300, Peugeot Versailles PE10DE
Posts: 3,924
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by RubenX View Post
Not my case ATM thanks God. It happened on previous relationships tho... so the options are

1) Kill him/her
2) End relationship quietly
3) End relationship with a bang
4) Cheat back.
5) Ask permission to join in
6) Ignore it

What would you do?
(multiple choices are possible)
It's really, really sad that you didn't even think to include any options like "talk to SO about it" or anything of that nature. Maybe you need to look at what drove the past SO's to cheat then.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
KingTermite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 10:28 AM   #16
ilikebikes
K2ProFlex baby!
 
ilikebikes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
Bikes: to many to list
Posts: 6,087
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
First Id be very, very, sad, and I wouldn't want to know why it happened either, not ever! I'd end the relationship quietly, wish her the best, and start my new life.
__________________
You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve
ilikebikes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 10:30 AM   #17
austropithicus
Guest
 
Bikes:
Posts: n/a
Mentioned: Post(s)
Tagged: Thread(s)
Quoted: Post(s)
Who wants to see RubenX in prison? Vote to kill! Woo hoo!
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 10:34 AM   #18
KingTermite 
On my TARDIScycle!
 
KingTermite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Eastside Seattlite Termite Mound
Bikes: Trek 520, Trek Navigator 300, Peugeot Versailles PE10DE
Posts: 3,924
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by austropithicus View Post
Who wants to see RubenX in prison? Vote to kill! Woo hoo!
Why do you hate me so much? Why do you want to see me dead?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
KingTermite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 10:37 AM   #19
austropithicus
Guest
 
Bikes:
Posts: n/a
Mentioned: Post(s)
Tagged: Thread(s)
Quoted: Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
Why do you hate me so much? Why do you want to see me dead?
Oops. Dont, tell, Ruben.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 10:37 AM   #20
huerro
Villainous
 
huerro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Austin
Bikes: Trek 420, Cyclops
Posts: 1,894
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by no1mad View Post

If you think that it is an affair, beware.
If it turns out that there were numerous times with multiple partners, get out. Get checked out.
Even if it's one extracurricular partner, get checked out.
huerro is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 10:39 AM   #21
ilikebikes
K2ProFlex baby!
 
ilikebikes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
Bikes: to many to list
Posts: 6,087
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
"Figure out what I did to drive her away and reconcile"


Thats like saying,"I forgive you, please go out and do it again!" I figure I'll "grow" and "learn from it" the very moment I find out shes cheating Next time (if there is a next time) Ill try to find a person that REALLY loves me and is willing to except me as I am, not a person that finds lame ass excuses to cheat
__________________
You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve
ilikebikes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 10:40 AM   #22
lotek
Forum Admin
 
lotek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: n.w. superdrome
Bikes: 1 trek, serotta, rih, de Reus, Pogliaghi and finally a Zieleman! and got a DeRosa
Posts: 17,710
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7 Post(s)
depends on the circumstances.
if it were a one time things got out of control I could sorta deal with it.
If it were a long term relationship (and it was) I'd leave (again).
no bang but not exactly quiet.
__________________
Sono pił lento di quel che sembra.
Odio la gente, tutti.


Want to upgrade your membership? Click Here.
lotek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 10:42 AM   #23
DallasSoxFan
Scan Me
 
DallasSoxFan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Bikes: 2009 Trek 2.3, 2010 Specialized Secteur Sport
Posts: 771
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by no1mad View Post
Agreed. No flames from me.
Suprising. Usually on this kind of response there is at least one person that lashes back saying, "My spouse cheated on me and don't say it was my fault!"
DallasSoxFan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 10:42 AM   #24
CliftonGK1
Senior Member
 
CliftonGK1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Columbus, OH
Bikes: '08 Surly Cross-Check, 2011 Redline Conquest Pro, 2012 Spesh FSR Comp EVO, 2015 Trek Domane 6.2 disc
Posts: 11,380
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ilikebikes View Post
First Id be very, very, sad, and I wouldn't want to know why it happened either, not ever! I'd end the relationship quietly, wish her the best, and start my new life.
Why?
CliftonGK1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-09, 10:43 AM   #25
ilikebikes
K2ProFlex baby!
 
ilikebikes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
Bikes: to many to list
Posts: 6,087
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by huerro View Post
Even if it's one extracurricular partner, get checked out.
Yeah, people forget when you have sex with one person your having sex with every other person they ever had sex with! So dont be silly, wrap your willy!
__________________
You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve
ilikebikes is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:39 AM.