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View Poll Results: What would you do if cheated on

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  • Kill him/her

    7 9.86%
  • End relationship quietly

    38 53.52%
  • End relationship with a bang

    20 28.17%
  • Cheat Back

    7 9.86%
  • Ask permission to join in

    14 19.72%
  • Ignore it

    5 7.04%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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  1. #1
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
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    What would you do if cheated on?

    Not my case ATM thanks God. It happened on previous relationships tho... so the options are

    1) Kill him/her
    2) End relationship quietly
    3) End relationship with a bang
    4) Cheat back.
    5) Ask permission to join in
    6) Ignore it

    What would you do?
    (multiple choices are possible)

  2. #2
    Decrepit Member Abacus's Avatar
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    Kick the slitch to the kerb.

  3. #3
    Senior Member mustang1's Avatar
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    I wouldn't so much ask permission to join in, I just would.

  4. #4
    Scan Me DallasSoxFan's Avatar
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    Let me start by saying that I KNOW this will cause a flame war of me against, well, everyone. I'm also assuming marriage as the type of relationship.

    I vote "Figure out what I did to drive her away and reconcile"

    The truth of what I'm saying is that my wife's response to me and our marriage is directly causal to my response to her and our marriage. If I love her well (love here is a verb, not a noun) then she will not fill her needs elsewhere. That may be a need for compassion, attention, being valued, being desired, etc.

    However, if I ignore her, take her for granted, and become increasing more isolated and detached from her, she will respond in kind.

    Please note that this doesn't work unless she has the same perspective. She must also love me well, but that should be her natural response to me. It is also my duty to take the higher road and if she isn't loving me well not to respond in kind and instead love her even better.

  5. #5
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Hmmmmmm after admitting that I ended and restarted my relationship with my ex-husband at least 8 times - and finding him with Boobette a couple times and the other Bimbo one or more times, I ended quietly --- and other times I ... blew up. Yes, Mr. Bar Owner - I'm the wild blond who just tossed a couple motorcycle helmets across the street, may have body slammed a motorcycle into a wall and perhaps done the watusi on a cell phone on the sidewalk. Ahhhh alcohol ... not a good mix into a bad relationship ... and with each start/end it seemed to escalate. Till I said No more.

  6. #6
    Super Moderator no1mad's Avatar
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    It depends, but I don't think ignoring it is an option. Generally though, cheating will lead to a dissolution of the relationship. It did with my first *serious* relationship (engaged).

    If you think that it is an affair, beware.
    If it turns out that there were numerous times with multiple partners, get out. Get checked out.

    In any event, the cheater disrespected the victim. More importantly, they broke their trust, which is awfully hard to regain.
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  7. #7
    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lauren View Post
    Join in, then end it with a bang.

    It isn't cheating if he tells me about it beforehand, and if he can't follow that simple rule his ass deserves to be on the curb.

    What are you doing this friday night?

  8. #8
    was kung-fu fighting lodi781's Avatar
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    walk...
    " The love you withhold is the pain you carry, lifetime after lifetime."

  9. #9
    Gears? CliftonGK1's Avatar
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    I voted for "end it quietly" and "end it with a bang". It's possible to do both, because the impact of that "bang" doesn't need to be a public spectacle.

    My ex did cheat on me; one of many reasons why she's the ex now. I didn't yell, I didn't throw things, I didn't demand to know who he was. None of that. I took a day off from work, found a new apartment, and told her when I was moving out.
    I left her all the mismatched furniture, the stereo and TV, and her cats (which I never wanted in the first place.) I packed my things into a van and moved quietly with the help of some friends, and even then, the ex didn't see the repercussions: She had no job. The lease was ending on the apartment. I wasn't going to be paying for everything anymore.
    She quickly came to realize that I wasn't such a bad guy to have around, but I had no interest in going back. Aside from communication through my lawyer, she got an old fashioned Amish shunning. I took her off all my instant messenger and social network contact lists, blocked her number on my phone, returned mail which wasn't sent through my lawyer, and found out that w/o my asking, many of my friends did the same.
    In the course of drawing up the final papers, she got nothing besides what I left her with when I moved out. A friend of mine told me the impact was drastic. She can't hold a job, has a horrible apartment in a terrible part of town, and has seen a string of failed relationships (both romantic, and in driving away those who used to be her friends.)

    Huge "bang", but I didn't make a public spectacle of it. Quietly letting someone's life collapse is effective enough.

  10. #10
    Crushing souls Hickeydog's Avatar
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    well, seeing as that I woulnd't be in a relationshipp....
    Quote Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post

    What's frightening is how coherent Hickey was in posting that.

  11. #11
    Super Moderator no1mad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DallasSoxFan View Post
    Let me start by saying that I KNOW this will cause a flame war of me against, well, everyone. I'm also assuming marriage as the type of relationship.

    I vote "Figure out what I did to drive her away and reconcile"

    The truth of what I'm saying is that my wife's response to me and our marriage is directly causal to my response to her and our marriage. If I love her well (love here is a verb, not a noun) then she will not fill her needs elsewhere. That may be a need for compassion, attention, being valued, being desired, etc.

    However, if I ignore her, take her for granted, and become increasing more isolated and detached from her, she will respond in kind.

    Please note that this doesn't work unless she has the same perspective. She must also love me well, but that should be her natural response to me. It is also my duty to take the higher road and if she isn't loving me well not to respond in kind and instead love her even better.
    Agreed. No flames from me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cyril View Post
    Ride what and in what manner pleases you. Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind. srsly.
    Community guidelines

  12. #12
    Go Buckeyes! MissKristen's Avatar
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    I've never cheated and I dont *think* I've been cheated on... but I voted "end quietly". You only make yourself look like a jackass when you throw a tantrum, IMO. I'd totally pull a move like Clifton... just quietly but effectively remove myself from their life and cut all ties. I can't ever imagine myself taking back someone who cheated on me; I'd never forget what he did and it'd end up ruining the relationship anyway.
    No matter what happens now
    You shouldn't be afraid
    Because I know today has been the most perfect day I've ever seen.

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  13. #13
    BF's Level 12 Wizard SingingSabre's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DallasSoxFan View Post
    I vote "Figure out what I did to drive her away and reconcile"
    +1

    9/10 times it'll have to end in a split, but it's nice to get the chance to learn and grow from it.
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    Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.

  14. #14
    more ape than man timmhaan's Avatar
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    i'd settle for a sham marriage... one of convenience where we can sleep with whomever we want and we both know what's going on.

  15. #15
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RubenX View Post
    Not my case ATM thanks God. It happened on previous relationships tho... so the options are

    1) Kill him/her
    2) End relationship quietly
    3) End relationship with a bang
    4) Cheat back.
    5) Ask permission to join in
    6) Ignore it

    What would you do?
    (multiple choices are possible)
    It's really, really sad that you didn't even think to include any options like "talk to SO about it" or anything of that nature. Maybe you need to look at what drove the past SO's to cheat then.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  16. #16
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
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    First Id be very, very, sad, and I wouldn't want to know why it happened either, not ever! I'd end the relationship quietly, wish her the best, and start my new life.
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

  17. #17
    austropithicus
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    Who wants to see RubenX in prison? Vote to kill! Woo hoo!

  18. #18
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by austropithicus View Post
    Who wants to see RubenX in prison? Vote to kill! Woo hoo!
    Why do you hate me so much? Why do you want to see me dead?
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  19. #19
    austropithicus
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
    Why do you hate me so much? Why do you want to see me dead?
    Oops. Dont, tell, Ruben.

  20. #20
    Villainous huerro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by no1mad View Post

    If you think that it is an affair, beware.
    If it turns out that there were numerous times with multiple partners, get out. Get checked out.
    Even if it's one extracurricular partner, get checked out.

  21. #21
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
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    My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
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    "Figure out what I did to drive her away and reconcile"


    Thats like saying,"I forgive you, please go out and do it again!" I figure I'll "grow" and "learn from it" the very moment I find out shes cheating Next time (if there is a next time) Ill try to find a person that REALLY loves me and is willing to except me as I am, not a person that finds lame ass excuses to cheat
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

  22. #22
    Forum Admin lotek's Avatar
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    depends on the circumstances.
    if it were a one time things got out of control I could sorta deal with it.
    If it were a long term relationship (and it was) I'd leave (again).
    no bang but not exactly quiet.
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  23. #23
    Scan Me DallasSoxFan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by no1mad View Post
    Agreed. No flames from me.
    Suprising. Usually on this kind of response there is at least one person that lashes back saying, "My spouse cheated on me and don't say it was my fault!"

  24. #24
    Gears? CliftonGK1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ilikebikes View Post
    First Id be very, very, sad, and I wouldn't want to know why it happened either, not ever! I'd end the relationship quietly, wish her the best, and start my new life.
    Why?

  25. #25
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
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    My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
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    Quote Originally Posted by huerro View Post
    Even if it's one extracurricular partner, get checked out.
    Yeah, people forget when you have sex with one person your having sex with every other person they ever had sex with! So dont be silly, wrap your willy!
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

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