Originally Posted by StupidlyBrave
In May, I'll be married 25 years. I can't answer either question definitively. I wake up and I start over.
What's your secret? How do you keep it together? What mine-fields have you successfully navigated?
Congratulations on such a successful marriage! I think the part you mentioned about starting over is the important part a lot of people forget or don't even know about. Each and every single day you wake up, you have to re-dedicate yourself to your goals and commitments.
In a way, it's like having a clean car or a clean kitchen sink. There's no "one" ceremony or "event" that you can do just once that'll guarantee
you'll have a clean car or sink "forever". You have to set up a structure, a schedule or a plan regularly clean your car and wash your dishes. THAT
is the only way to have a clean car or sink on-goingly. So... same with a marriage, you have to re-commit yourself to your partner and your marriage each and every single day.
As for what works for us? Lots fighting!!! A lot of folks try to be too "nice" and not rock the boat. They end up building up a lot of pent-up resentment and anger that ends up destroying them and the other person. And we discuss what the fight was about and how we can resolve the issues we were fighting about. The next time that same problem comes up, it's handled easily, quickly with no drama.