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Old 02-01-09, 04:39 AM   #1
cal_gundert05
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Late-night, self-loathing thread

I don't know what I expect to get out of this, but here it goes:

Basically, I'm bored--not just now, but every day, for most of the day. I feel like everyone has something that they 'do'--a sport or hobby or something--but I don't. Of course, that's no one's fault but mine. While I've tried and enjoyed several sports/hobbies, my head always seems to get in the way (figuratively speaking) and ruin it for me.

With biking, I worry about something going wrong (getting a flat or having something stolen and being far from help) or needing to buy more stuff ("sporty" clothes for riding, cleats, bags, lights, tools, etc)--in case you can't tell, I like to keep stuff simple. Plus, I like riding to some place, but the only place I go is school/work and the grocery store.

Rock climbing (bouldering, specifically) was alright, but most places are fairly limited in terms of places to do it. Roped climbing requires a partner and varying amounts of gear.

Photography was okay, but I kinda want something to keep me in shape. Also, I don't care for the (seemingly) increasing technological nature of it. And I'm not involved in anything worth photographing.

Hmm, this is making me feel even worse. I'm going to try to sleep. I'll probably regret posting this in the morning...

EDIT: I don't think the problem is finding something that I like doing--it's accepting all of the less-than-ideal circumstances that come out of that something. Anyone else have this problem?

Last edited by cal_gundert05; 02-01-09 at 04:47 AM.
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Old 02-01-09, 06:17 AM   #2
recumelectric
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I think you may be peering into the eternal abyss right now. The worrying and fussing distracts you from the overall emptiness. It doesn't hit you until you're posting somewhere late at night.I've been there, usually on a daily basis.

I don't have any particular answer for you (like BF would solve the existential dilemma! ). Life is what you make of it, and what you make of it has a lot to do with attitude. The same events, interpreted differently, can mean entirely different things. For some reason, I get off on my bicycle mishaps instead of being upset by them. I've had flat tires and wrecks that I laugh off as part of the big adventure. It just gives me more war stories to tell. I've found that applying the same philosophy towards other things creates more contentment for me.

My mother says that life is just a river of $h!^, and the goal is to just dodge the big turds. And she can actually be happy in the midst of that mess! At this point, she's happy to breathe, think, walk, and talk for another day.

...I was happy to have use of my legs the other day. I got to thinking about how much it would suck to not have working legs, and how lucky I am to be able to walk and ride. Just another way to look at it.
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Old 02-01-09, 07:26 AM   #3
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I'm not too far from you.

Let's go do an easy ride (I've got asthma and I can't climb hills on a bike) and if one of us gets in a situation, at least we'll be stuck in it together.

PM me if you'd want to go sometime. My schedule varies so I don't have regular days off.
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Old 02-01-09, 09:56 AM   #4
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I love foo.

You came to the right place Cal.....hang in there.
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