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Old 02-04-09, 11:00 PM   #1
efrobert
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Recommend me a bad habit

At the rate I'm going, I'll probably live to about 120 years old, and I just don't think I'll be able to save enough money. I'd like to kick the bucket around 85 - 90, so I need to find a way to shave thirty years off my life.
Ideas?
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Old 02-04-09, 11:02 PM   #2
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Selling girl scout cookies cell-to-cell in the Arkansas State Penn?
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Old 02-04-09, 11:05 PM   #3
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Find yourself a reeeealllly young wife who likes money. Then tell her what food allergies you have.
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Now get on your cheap bike and give me a double century. You walking can of Crisco!!

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Old 02-04-09, 11:07 PM   #4
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Cigarettes and turbochargers.
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Old 02-04-09, 11:13 PM   #5
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hookers are always the answer.
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Old 02-04-09, 11:14 PM   #6
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hookers are always the answer.
The ways to die from hookers are either too fast, or too slow and painful.
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Old 02-04-09, 11:17 PM   #7
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The ways to die from hookers are either too fast, or too slow and painful.
yes
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Old 02-04-09, 11:19 PM   #8
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Scotch, steaks and cigars.

It takes a while to eat, smoke and booze yourself to death (unless you're driving, which isn't fair to the rest of us), but they're all pretty enjoyable while you're at it.
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Old 02-04-09, 11:20 PM   #9
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hookers are always the answer.

As my mom used to say, if hookers are not the answer, son, then you are asking the wrong question.
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Old 02-04-09, 11:22 PM   #10
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Scotch, steaks and cigars.

It takes a while to eat, smoke and booze yourself to death (unless you're driving, which isn't fair to the rest of us), but they're all pretty enjoyable while you're at it.
If you find it not moving along fast enough, that's where the turbochargers come in.
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Old 02-04-09, 11:26 PM   #11
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As my mom used to say, if hookers are not the answer, son, then you are asking the wrong question.
Just curious, what did your mom get you for your 18th birthday?
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Now get on your cheap bike and give me a double century. You walking can of Crisco!!

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Old 02-04-09, 11:27 PM   #12
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Just curious, what did your mom get you for your 18th birthday?
A car with no backseat, ironically.
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Old 02-04-09, 11:31 PM   #13
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Unprotected Sex! <--- this would make a great band name
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Old 02-04-09, 11:32 PM   #14
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Unprotected Sex! <--- this would make a great band name
Unprotected Sex Pistols, if your name happens to be, or you're willing to go by, Johnny Herpes.
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Old 02-04-09, 11:33 PM   #15
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Or Sid Viscous.
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Old 02-05-09, 12:36 AM   #16
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At the rate I'm going, I'll probably live to about 120 years old, and I just don't think I'll be able to save enough money. I'd like to kick the bucket around 85 - 90, so I need to find a way to shave thirty years off my life.
Ideas?
Reefer and LSD or if you are looking for a fast track, cocaine. I know these aren't very creative ideas but they are bad and fun.
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Old 02-05-09, 12:43 AM   #17
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Or Std Viscous.
Fixed.
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Old 02-05-09, 12:51 AM   #18
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Cholera-sausage duels:

from Wikipedia's entry on "duel":

"It is said (though not confirmed) that Otto von Bismarck challenged Rudolf Virchow to a duel. Virchow, as the challenged party had the choice of weapons; he chose two sausages, one of which had been inoculated with cholera. Bismarck is said to have called off the duel at once."

Also interesting (but less fatal) is cow dung dueling, from the same article:

"After being challenged to a duel, Abraham Lincoln was said to have picked cow dung at ten paces, which prompted his challenger to cancel it."

(this may all be made up, though--it is Wikipedia)
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Old 02-05-09, 12:57 AM   #19
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Is there something wrong with a casual spontaneous suicide plan at that age.
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Old 02-05-09, 03:45 AM   #20
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Powercranks - absolutely the worst habit you can get


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Old 02-05-09, 06:36 AM   #21
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I was gonna say kitten juggling, or puppy grinding until I saw MarkHR's post. That is a BAAADDDD habit.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 02-05-09, 07:25 AM   #22
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gnawing on your toe nails. not washing your hands before eating
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Old 02-05-09, 07:26 AM   #23
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gnawing on your toe nails. not washing your hands before eating
what if you eat with your feet and gnaw your nails at the same time, do you still have to wash your hands?
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 02-05-09, 07:28 AM   #24
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eat plenty of high sodium, high cholesterol and high hydrogenated cooking oil content foods. aka plenty of fast food intake, daily, at least 2/3 or 3/3 meals should be fast food.
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Food for thought: if you aren't dead by 2050, you and your entire family will be within a few years from starvation. Now that is a cruel gift to leave for your offspring. ;)
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Old 02-05-09, 07:28 AM   #25
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what if you eat with your feet and gnaw your nails at the same time, do you still have to wash your hands?
duh, it's just common sense
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