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  1. #1
    Senior Member Terrierman's Avatar
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    It has come to my attention that some of you have been cussing at work

    Dear Employees:
    It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
    throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
    normal conversation with their co-workers.

    Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended,
    this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

    We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to
    accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

    Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been
    provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in
    an effective manner.
    Number 1
    TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
    INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
    Number 2
    TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
    INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.
    Number 3
    TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
    INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
    Number 4
    TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
    INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.
    Number 5
    TRY SAYING: Really?
    INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!
    Number 6
    TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
    INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
    Number 7
    TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
    INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

    Number 8
    TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
    INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
    Number 9
    TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
    INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.
    Number 10
    TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
    INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?
    Number 11
    TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...
    INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.
    Number 12
    TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
    INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
    Number 13
    TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
    INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
    Number 14
    TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
    INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.
    Number 15
    TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
    INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.
    Number 16
    TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
    INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.
    Number 17
    TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
    INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?
    Number 18
    TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
    INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.
    Thank You,
    Human Resources
    It's all downhill from here. Except the parts that are uphill.

  2. #2
    Chepooka StupidlyBrave's Avatar
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    Sep 2006
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    South Central PA
    My Bikes
    1990 Trek 1400 7spd; 2001 Litespeed Arenberg 10 speed
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    Mean Mr. Mustard?

  3. #3
    ......... diggy488's Avatar
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    2012 C'dale Supersix
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  4. #4
    Barbieri Telefonico huhenio's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
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    Albuquerque, New Mexico
    My Bikes
    Crappy but operational secondhand Motobecane Messenger
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    f u
    Giving Haircuts Over The Phone

  5. #5
    Body By Nintendo Psydotek's Avatar
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    Sep 2006
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    Videogames ruined my life. Good thing i have 2 extra lives.
    My Bikes
    Giant TCR2, Giant TCX, IRO BFSSFG SE, Salsa Casseroll, IRO Rob Roy.
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    I don't think you understand...

    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    A girl once asked me to give her twelve inches and make it hurt. I had to make love to her 3 times and then punch her in the nose.

  6. #6
    Squirrelly Member trsidn's Avatar
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    Jul 2007
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    Putting the 'fun' in dysfunctional
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    Cannondale CAAD8, Trek SU200
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    ***** ****** **** ***** *****
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Yet more proof that I'm.. well, pretty much right about everything.

  7. #7
    Third World Layabout crtreedude's Avatar
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    Dec 2005
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    Costa Rica
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    I always thought it was better to not swear and just feed them to the paper shredder. One must work at being polite, right?

  8. #8
    Squirrelly Member trsidn's Avatar
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    Putting the 'fun' in dysfunctional
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    Quote Originally Posted by crtreedude View Post
    I always thought it was better to not swear and just feed them to the wood chipper. One must work at being polite, right?
    fify
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Yet more proof that I'm.. well, pretty much right about everything.

  9. #9
    Dude wheres my guads? skinnyone's Avatar
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    May 2005
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    Guess
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    Not enough
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    What the ****?

  10. #10
    Senior Member shouldberiding's Avatar
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    Madison, WI
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    '08 Trek 7.3FX
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    Fantastic.

  11. #11
    Hello :D kidonabike's Avatar
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    Ha! My captain sent this one to us at work one day. Funny stuff, especially since all of us curse a lot

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