How long it took to destroy my marriage
Forgive the long post. I am a bit depressed at the moment.
My time line:
1) Kid is born in 2003
2) Wife goes loopy.
3) Wife cheats on me with another woman. Trust me, not kinky.
4) She is diagnosed being bi polar.
5) Attempts to commit suicide
6) Marriage counseling ensues
7) 5 years of terrible finances result due to her inability to control spending urges culminating with me removing all access to joint funds to keep from going bankrupt.
8) A few months ago she admits she took out several credit cards and is defaulting on them. Says a few $1000 dollars after I offer to help and turns my offer down.
9) We go through several months of marriage counseling. Admits it is more like $10,000
10) She ignores the money issue until she is served last Wed.
11) For the third time she admits to more debt. Now it is 6 credit cards and $20,000 of debt.
12) Finally goes to a CCS and arranges for help. The end result is a monthly payment of $550
13) In the meantime she blows additional cash and drains our poor account of funds.
After #13 occurred I decided enough was enough. She has pushed me over the edge.
Somewhere between #1 and #13 I just stopped caring and our son was the only reason I did not file for a divorce. After discussing the fact that I could not take it anymore, my wife and I both agree that the relationship has fallen to pieces with virtually no hope for recovery. In the meantime we are taking a few weeks to ponder everything and then will make the final decision. Oddly enough, so far we are not mad at each other and seem to be proceeding in a reasonable manner. I would like to be one of the odd divorces that are still on speaking terms after it is all said and done. Friends would be great. Despite all that has happened I harbor no ill will. I guess time will tell if that feeling is shared.
I would rather this not turn into a mess like my parents divorce. Even better would be if things would recover but that is highly doubtful.
I am still doubting the choice. It just seems so much easier to keep taking the BS and stay together.
It seems like after being married for 13 years we should be able to get over any obstacle in our way. I guess not.
Sorry for the downer of a post.