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Old 04-21-09, 06:56 PM   #1
mustang1
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I will never divorce

There's another thread going on right now which I didn't want to hijack so I'll write it here. It's somethng I thought of a few years ago. My wife and I are ok, everyone has ups and downs and so do we. By I know one thng for sure: I will never divorce her.

I have a daughter who I love like you wouldn believe. I would do anythin for her, absiey anything. A d I would destroy anyo e who hurts her. I miss her when I'm at work and it's one reason I keep myself so occupied so idont start thinking about her. Sometimes I look at her photo on my iPhone, sometimes on my laptop, sometimes. Take my camera to work and look at the photos on there.

And because I always want to be with her, I will Hebe ever divirce my wife. I will take all the unhappinessi have to just so my daughter doesn't have to go thru andparents getting a divorce... Why should she suffer? The parents are the idiots for not getting along. And for this reason, I will take anything. It does not bother me.

Only, sometimes it does. Why am I writing this? Meh, another discussion withthe wife (we're livn with her parents for the last 5 months while our house is being done up and her brother did t help by stealing our builder for two months) so I guess livn with the in laws (who are very supportive) is taking it's toll on me.

I'm not expecting any answers to this thread, I'm just publishing my thougts that's all. And I just want to say my daughter is the most gorgeous thing in my life. She has givenmy life true meaning.
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Old 04-21-09, 07:00 PM   #2
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Good luck.

I don't think I'll get divorced either. Only difference is that I'm single.
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Old 04-21-09, 07:00 PM   #3
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Keep the faith, brother.
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Old 04-21-09, 07:01 PM   #4
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Ps sorry for spellmg mistakes, I only have an iPhone right now.

Actually you know what? My wife hated me buying this iPhone but it's what gives me soMe sanity. Now she wants to use it often.

My parents bought me a camera. She had a go at me for wasting money until I told her my parents bought it. Then she said my parets shod have bought sometimgfor our new house (read: my parents should have bought something she chose, my parents buy enough things for her anywAy) - hold on, I'll shut up now.
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Old 04-21-09, 07:05 PM   #5
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Ps sorry for spellmg mistakes, I only have an iPhone right now.
I just thought you'd been drinking and were emotional.

The sentiment got through, and there was not one trace of sarcasm in my post. I wish you well in your marriage, and having that never give up attitude can only help.
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Old 04-21-09, 07:25 PM   #6
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Staying together for the sake of the child is not always good when the only thing the child is exposed to is an unhappy relationship between her parents. Sometimes divorce can be better for the children.
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Old 04-21-09, 07:31 PM   #7
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mustang - I wish you well.

Seeing someone say their child means more than anything raises a red flag for me though. I would expect that in a strong marriage, the spouse would mean the most, and the children coming in a close second. It sounds like you two may have a couple of issues besides. I certainly wish you the best in holding things together and being happy.
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Old 04-21-09, 07:35 PM   #8
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Sounds like you better be careful with over protection issues with your child. Believe me, I understand unconditional love but when you talk about destroying people who hurt her? That's getting kinda scary.

btw, been married for 30 years this fall.
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Old 04-21-09, 07:45 PM   #9
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Staying together for the sake of the child is not always good when the only thing the child is exposed to is an unhappy relationship between her parents. Sometimes divorce can be better for the children.
That's sure the truth.

That said, my wife and I are very happily married and coming up on our 15th anniversary very soon (May 7).
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Old 04-21-09, 07:50 PM   #10
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Good luck to you.
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Old 04-21-09, 07:55 PM   #11
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Never say never.
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Old 04-21-09, 09:50 PM   #12
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Plus it really doesn't matter what YOU want. It matters what both of you want. If wifey wants a divorce and you don't, you're still getting a divorce.
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Old 04-21-09, 10:40 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mustang1 View Post
Ps sorry for spellmg mistakes, I only have an iPhone right now.

Actually you know what? My wife hated me buying this iPhone but it's what gives me soMe sanity. Now she wants to use it often.

My parents bought me a camera. She had a go at me for wasting money until I told her my parents bought it. Then she said my parets shod have bought sometimgfor our new house (read: my parents should have bought something she chose, my parents buy enough things for her anywAy) - hold on, I'll shut up now.
I was going to say it looks like you've already found your salve for unhappiness: alcohol or some form of drugs that render you pretty much illiterate.
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Old 04-21-09, 10:42 PM   #14
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I said some very similar things recently, less the kids aspect. But a sincere good luck to you nevertheless.
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Old 04-21-09, 11:17 PM   #15
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I was going to say it looks like you've already found your salve for unhappiness: alcohol or some form of drugs that render you pretty much illiterate.
There's drugs that render you illiterate? Sweet!


I gotta find me some of them...
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Old 04-21-09, 11:30 PM   #16
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Staying together for the sake of the child is not always good when the only thing the child is exposed to is an unhappy relationship between her parents. Sometimes divorce can be better for the children.
+11tybillion, and I say this as a person who's parents should have gotten a divorce 10 years before they did.
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Old 04-21-09, 11:48 PM   #17
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you can't hurt people that hurt your kid. I know how you feel i really wanna kill my daughters worthless boyfriend. he is worthless he bums from everyone and has not worked in 2 years) but there is nothing I can really do about it the more I try the more she will cling to the looser.
you have to let your kids get hurt sometimes. sometimes you just have to grin and bear it.
saying you will never get divorced because of your child is a bit silly and naive. I have been married 24 years now and I will die married to my wife.
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Old 04-22-09, 12:27 AM   #18
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A few weeks ago my daughters, who are 9 and 11 witnessed something they have never seen before...

They saw their dad holding hands with a woman (The Girl), saw him hug her, and am sure caught him giving her a little kiss here and there.

They saw their dad was really happy.

They know he is very much in love and they have made it no secret that they think she should come and live with us... forever.

I would also do anything to make my girls happy.



I never realized this but my oldest daughter told me that she could not remember seeing her parents demonstrate any affection and there was a time I thought I would stay in what was a horrible relationship until my daughters were grown.

But while I that relationship I was unhappy, depressed, and was not the father I should have been and I owe my girls more than that.

As a single dad who shares custody we struggle a little but we are happy, the girls know they are loved by their mom and dad and know that there is even room for more love in our home.

And that is what makes this home a home.

Love.
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Old 04-22-09, 01:06 AM   #19
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Good luck my friend. I can't say me and my wife are OK, but if I ever divorce I'll miss my own little cutie and that's a darn good reason to keep trying a little bit more... ergo I can relate.
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Old 04-22-09, 07:03 AM   #20
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going on 10 years here two kids 6 and 4....I didn't think is was possible to make it past 3 years.
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Old 04-22-09, 07:31 AM   #21
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I said the same exact thing 13 years ago.
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Old 04-22-09, 07:37 AM   #22
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Never say never.
It's like tattooing your girlfriend's name on you arm.

I pray to God that something doesn't happen to me and my wife. I love her and both my daughters and would hate to think that we are not together all the time.

It takes work, communication, a deep commitment, and a whole lot of forgiveness sometimes. But if you're both willing, it should work.

I hope the best for you. And those who are and have been through the mess of divorce.
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Old 04-22-09, 07:51 AM   #23
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mustang - I wish you well.

Seeing someone say their child means more than anything raises a red flag for me though. I would expect that in a strong marriage, the spouse would mean the most, and the children coming in a close second. It sounds like you two may have a couple of issues besides. I certainly wish you the best in holding things together and being happy.
+1

Value your wife first. She will be in your life the longest, long after the kids are gone.

Pursue her the same or better as you did when you were dating, don't ever give her reason to feel that she is not valued or valuable in your eyes. Put her first and never take anyone else's side over hers. Don't dominate or "command" her and treat her like a slave. Don't expect her to love you back, but treat her in such a way that she would have no other reasonable choice. Eliminate obsessions that make her feel second (football, baseball, bikes, whatever).
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Old 04-22-09, 07:53 AM   #24
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Staying together for the sake of the child is not always good when the only thing the child is exposed to is an unhappy relationship between her parents. Sometimes divorce can be better for the children.
I agree with Cbad 100% on this.

The OPs thread makes it sound like all he cares about is his daughter, and doesn't give a crap about his wife. Your spouse has to come before your kid; that is possibly why there are so many divorces after children are in the picture for a short while. People have kids and forget about their spouse, or some people have kids to replace their spouse, but you have to have a relationship with your spouse before your kid. That is what "as one" means when you get married.

EDIT: I just read the rest of the thread after posting, and I guess I just repeated what everyone else already said.
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Old 04-22-09, 07:56 AM   #25
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Marriage is a tough gig...
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