Greetings my friends. I have noticed a disturbing trend on Foo. Well, I have seen a couple. But here's the one that scares me the most... You people seem to like couch.
I'll be honest with you. I have known couch since high school. We were roommates a while in college. Let me tell you... couch is one crazy dude. (He also has a sister that would turn any straight woman into a lesbian in a second. If you look up smoking hottie in the dictionary, there is a picture of his sister.)
But this is not about the time I cheated in strip poker and almost got her totally naked.
I am here to give you a picture of couch that you may not know. Grab a chair as ol' Hillary tells you about couch's younger days.....
The year was 1991. Bill Clinton had just announced that he was going to run for President. Clarence Thomas was being accused of putting his pubes on a can of Coke. The Twins (who deserve to die because of their terrible stadium) had just won a World Series.
That didn't matter to us. We were young and crazy at the time. Our English teacher, Mrs. Whitbeck, had just given ol' couchie a bad grade. We were out for revenge. We decided to toilet paper her house. This was no ordinarry toilet paper job. We were going to do the best job ever. We got all of our friends together. It was me, couchie, another friend who refuses to play on the internet with us, another friend who was a sexual deviant, another friend who was amazing at origami and another guy whose dog would always hump your leg when you went to his house. It was really gross. I usually just waited outside, but our sexual deviant friend seems to enjoy the dog humping his leg. When the dog started humping me, I would kick it in the coin purse. Why would anyone let a dog hump you leg? I'd let couch's sister hump my leg, but not a dog.
Back to the story
That's six of us... We bought the big packages of toilet paper I think there was something like 12 rolls in each one. (When went went to the register, couch told the clerk he had diarehha. We all laughed.) So six of us, with 12 rolls of toilet paper is something like a thousand rolls. We unloaded it all on her house. It looked like it had rained toilet paper.
On Monday, when we went to school, Mrs. Biatchbeck asked the class if they knew anything about what happened. We all lied and said no.
So my point is, "Couch's sister is hot."