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Old 05-16-09, 09:56 AM   #1
Hillary 2016
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The adventures of couch_incident

Greetings my friends. I have noticed a disturbing trend on Foo. Well, I have seen a couple. But here's the one that scares me the most... You people seem to like couch.

I'll be honest with you. I have known couch since high school. We were roommates a while in college. Let me tell you... couch is one crazy dude. (He also has a sister that would turn any straight woman into a lesbian in a second. If you look up smoking hottie in the dictionary, there is a picture of his sister.)

But this is not about the time I cheated in strip poker and almost got her totally naked.

I am here to give you a picture of couch that you may not know. Grab a chair as ol' Hillary tells you about couch's younger days.....

The year was 1991. Bill Clinton had just announced that he was going to run for President. Clarence Thomas was being accused of putting his pubes on a can of Coke. The Twins (who deserve to die because of their terrible stadium) had just won a World Series.

That didn't matter to us. We were young and crazy at the time. Our English teacher, Mrs. Whitbeck, had just given ol' couchie a bad grade. We were out for revenge. We decided to toilet paper her house. This was no ordinarry toilet paper job. We were going to do the best job ever. We got all of our friends together. It was me, couchie, another friend who refuses to play on the internet with us, another friend who was a sexual deviant, another friend who was amazing at origami and another guy whose dog would always hump your leg when you went to his house. It was really gross. I usually just waited outside, but our sexual deviant friend seems to enjoy the dog humping his leg. When the dog started humping me, I would kick it in the coin purse. Why would anyone let a dog hump you leg? I'd let couch's sister hump my leg, but not a dog.

Back to the story

That's six of us... We bought the big packages of toilet paper I think there was something like 12 rolls in each one. (When went went to the register, couch told the clerk he had diarehha. We all laughed.) So six of us, with 12 rolls of toilet paper is something like a thousand rolls. We unloaded it all on her house. It looked like it had rained toilet paper.

On Monday, when we went to school, Mrs. Biatchbeck asked the class if they knew anything about what happened. We all lied and said no.

So my point is, "Couch's sister is hot."
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Old 05-16-09, 10:07 AM   #2
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Ok

You are a lesbian liar.

My sister is of limits to you.
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Old 05-16-09, 10:49 AM   #3
Hillary 2016
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Ok

You are a lesbian liar.

My sister is of limits to you.
Who said I was a lesbian?
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Old 05-16-09, 11:37 AM   #4
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Marry me, Hillary!
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- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 05-16-09, 12:28 PM   #5
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of said sister.
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Old 05-16-09, 03:38 PM   #6
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Did couch's diarrhea ever clear up?
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Old 05-16-09, 04:21 PM   #7
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Did couch's diarrhea ever clear up?
More importantly: did he ever pass English?
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Old 05-16-09, 05:44 PM   #8
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Oh Hillary, Hillary ... Hillary (Tude clucks like a hen) ...

I've already lambasted him in another thread. I mean he's been set on fire, farted on, rode on a bicycle (not the correct way), blasted out of something and ... well ... I'm sure barf was included as well.

He's been sooooooo indoctrinated that he's just a gooeey mess of Foo Love.





He knows he's a foo wuv.
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Old 05-16-09, 05:48 PM   #9
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Just out of curiosity, where in Ohio are you two maniacs?
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Old 05-16-09, 06:32 PM   #10
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This whole story is a lie folks! Well, I did receive a failing grade for my paper about, "Robot Sex and How It's much better than Dealing With a Raging Teenage Girl", but I digress. What Hillary has left out is, I banged said English Teacher on a glorious couch. Oh, and my sister is totally hawt folks. Just Say'in.

Well, I'm a busy man folks and I have to go set a couch on fire....gotta run.

Couch
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Old 05-16-09, 06:37 PM   #11
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Hey Hill, post the story about me and saving the local Catholic girls from the bus fire. This one is epic folks.

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Old 05-16-09, 07:05 PM   #12
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Is this the honest thread, or the dishonest thread? I can't keep it straight anymore....
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Old 05-16-09, 07:10 PM   #13
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^^^

Jr. High pooo-kaakaa thread.
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Old 05-16-09, 07:30 PM   #14
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Tude, your signature looks like my in-laws place. No srsly.
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Old 05-16-09, 08:50 PM   #15
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Just out of curiosity, where in Ohio are you two maniacs?
Mid Ohio. It's kind of close to Texas. Just Say'in.

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Old 05-18-09, 12:31 AM   #16
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Wait, who's Mudkipz and can I get a phone number for said sister?
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Old 05-18-09, 01:00 AM   #17
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^^
UA receives sound thwack on noggin for that comment.

Oh yeah, and you made me wake up the runt, Birdy, who was sleeping soundly on my lap in order to pull out the keyboard table.

Birdy is not pleased.

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Old 05-18-09, 04:58 AM   #18
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I'm from the 614. Yo!

Couch is no longer welcome in Ohio. He... umm... Well, let's just say there is a few couches that are still receiving counseling after what he did.
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Old 05-18-09, 05:21 AM   #19
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idk what the hell is going on.

nevertheless, I am setting the microwave to 'popcorn,' and enjoying.
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Old 05-18-09, 06:11 AM   #20
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Mid Ohio. It's kind of close to Texas. Just Say'in.

Mudkipz
Oh. I'm sorry.
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Old 05-18-09, 06:35 AM   #21
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I'm from the 614. Yo!

Couch is no longer welcome in Ohio. He... umm... Well, let's just say there is a few couches that are still receiving counseling after what he did.
Oh come on! You can tell us.

It's because of what he did on Oprah, isn't it?
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Old 05-18-09, 06:45 AM   #22
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If couch is indeed in Texas, I would love to buy him a couch, or at least a beer.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 05-18-09, 09:17 AM   #23
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If couch is indeed in Texas, I would love to buy him a couch, or at least a beer.

I love Texas, however I'm not in Texas at the moment. I used to consult down in San Antonio. I would tell you where I live but I'm in hiding at the moment. Apparently there are many angry couches in Ohio.

Couch
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Old 05-18-09, 09:24 AM   #24
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Greetings my friends. I have noticed a disturbing trend on Foo. Well, I have seen a couple. But here's the one that scares me the most... You people seem to like couch.
I just think he's weird
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Old 05-18-09, 09:31 AM   #25
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I just think he's weird
We think that about you, but it doesn't stop us from liking you.
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