Sean Kelly is a god, sure a god that I can't understand a word he is saying, but a god nonetheless.
Now that I read this and sip on this good vodka, it reminds me of a call I went out on when I was working for Animal Control.
When I worked In animal control, I often got called out to assist police on different things, one of which was going down to the auto pound to pick up animals from cars that had been involved in accidents or owners arrested. See the owners would be in jail or the hospital at this point and I'd pick up the animal to hold it until the city can find a next-of-kin or the owner can pick up his/her animal.
Well one night (it was about 0130) I get called out and meet 3 officers at the auto pound. I had to pick up a snake that was left in a car after the owner had been arrested. No big deal says I, I've picked up many a snake.
We get down the row of cars and find the one with the animal inside it. One of those malibi classic gangsta cars. As we approach, officers shine their flashlights into the car but we see no snake yet.
We do hear a soft bumping noise coming from the trunk!
We get closer to the trunk and the bumping noise seem to increase and we could feel something bumping from inside the trunk! One of the officers gets the keys to the trunk and nervously says, "Sounds like a big snake.". I says, "I never heard a snake make noise like that before.". The officer says, "I'll open the trunk and you get ready to snag the snake! If you don't get him the first time, get out of the way!".
With that, he jiggles the lock, he had to use a screwdriver since the keys didn't work on the gangsta car. The bumping stopped then continues rapidly as he drops the screwdriver. I hear clicks as the other officers unholster their guns and position their flashlights.
The first officer finally gets the trunk lid open and we all stand there with our mouths wide open...
The thumping sound was coming from the car's speakers. The car radio had been left on with the volume down real low and the bass was thumpin'
As secondary search found the medium sized rat snake along the dashboard of the car. I gently dropped it into a pillowcase and took it in under protective custody.
Two is one and one is none.