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Old 05-18-09, 06:51 PM   #1
Hillary 2016
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Couch the hero

Hello bike forums,


Mr. Couch asked me to tell you another tale of our wild and crazy youth. Let me take you all on a trip to November of 1993

Me, couch and our friend who doesn't play with us on the Internet were getting ready for a night out on the town. Unfortunately, Microsoft had just released Windows 3.11, so our friend stayed home. (This friend is a real dork. We assumed that he was masturbating to the new "About" screen. Later on, our assumptions were proven true.)

It was just me and couch out for a wild and crazy night. Our original plan was to steal underwear from the local laundry-mat, Three Sheets to the Wind. Little did we know that our lives would be dealt a cruel and bitter twist.

As we were heading to the laundry-mat, a tanker truck flipped off of the turnpike and burst into flames. The truck almost hit a car carrying three Catholic school girls. This is where couchie sprung into action.

He jumped over the flaming truck, ignoring the screams of the trucker (who was an orphaned nun) and the puppies trapped inside. He made his way over to the slightly dinged 1987 Ford Escort. He grabbed the door handle began rescuing the young ladies.

As the first girl stumbled out of the car, couch immediately began doing mouth to mouth. She protested the entire time, but he kept it up for three whole minutes. It must be really hard to do mouth to mouth when someone is pushing you away the entire time, but he persisted. Eventually she was saved and pushed him to the ground so he could rescue the others. I thought he was a hero for this alone.

The second girl was ugly, so there was nothing couch could do for her.

The third girl jumped out of the car and began running toward the flaming tanker truck. As she crossed the street, she stubbed her big toe. Once again, couch sprung into action. He quickly tore off the Catholic school girl's shirt, leaving her only in a lacy bra, and wrapped it around her toe to stop the bleeding. All of the surropunding men cheered him for his quick thinking.

Couchie was featured in all of the local papers. One of the headlines was, "Local Idiot 'helps' at accident." They misspelled "hero," but we did not let that hinder our celebration.

Coming soon... In the trenches with couch.
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Old 05-18-09, 08:05 PM   #2
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Old 05-19-09, 12:43 AM   #3
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I <3 you.
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Old 05-19-09, 12:47 AM   #4
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He's such a wonderful and brilliant person!
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Old 05-19-09, 06:42 AM   #5
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True, I would buy him a beer.


Note to coutch: I am not, nor have I ever been, a nun.
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Old 05-19-09, 07:09 AM   #6
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These tales of Couch's heroic deeds need to be contained in one volume.
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Old 05-19-09, 07:35 AM   #7
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I agree, all of the Couch stories should stay in this thread UnsafeAlpine. Hillary, keep all couch stories in this thread for prosperity's sake.

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Old 05-19-09, 09:00 AM   #8
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Old 05-19-09, 11:03 AM   #9
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Hill, you forgot to mention the brandy Ænima.



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Old 05-19-09, 11:05 AM   #10
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How could you tell was doing mouth to mouth with her skirt over his head like I heard it was?
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Old 05-19-09, 11:23 AM   #11
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How could you tell was doing mouth to mouth with her skirt over his head like I heard it was?
I have mad skillz jsharr.

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Old 05-19-09, 11:50 AM   #12
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Old 05-19-09, 12:36 PM   #13
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Posting, then logging in under another ID to offer
the obligatory hi-5...

Veddy veddy interestink.....................but.stupid.

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Old 05-19-09, 01:25 PM   #14
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Posting, then logging in under another ID to offer
the obligatory hi-5...

Veddy veddy interestink.....................but.stupid.

Couch doesn't do that! Apologize to me now -=(8)=-!

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Old 05-19-09, 03:27 PM   #15
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Posting, then logging in under another ID to offer
the obligatory hi-5...

Veddy veddy interestink.....................but.stupid.
What's the matter? No one paying attention to you?

Listen, if you don't like the thread, just leave. There's no reason to call people names.

Now, apologize to couch.
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Old 05-19-09, 03:31 PM   #16
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Old 05-19-09, 03:31 PM   #17
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Go away into your old man cave.
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Old 05-19-09, 03:53 PM   #18
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Gee Hillary,

I kind of feel let down. Every time you post, couch is never on. It would be funny to see you two banter back and forth. I even look for it but you guys keep missing each other.

Oh well, maybe I'll catch you both soon enough.

Thanks for telling us of all these funny stories!
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Old 05-19-09, 04:12 PM   #19
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I still think he's weird.
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Old 05-19-09, 04:47 PM   #20
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I still think he's weird.
Hello me lady. Feel free to PM me with contact info. I'm a handsome man!

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Old 05-19-09, 04:52 PM   #21
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Gee Hillary,

I kind of feel let down. Every time you post, couch is never on. It would be funny to see you two banter back and forth. I even look for it but you guys keep missing each other.

Oh well, maybe I'll catch you both soon enough.

Thanks for telling us of all these funny stories!

Hillary has children and I have a dog and a smelly couch. Check out my smelly couch and my dog thread. Anyway, we are busy peps Siu Blue Wind and cannot find the time to post together. If you want, ask the mods about IP locations. I assure you, we are two separate people, however we sometimes join as one in the tattoo parlor of life. (I think I just threw up in my mouth with that last sentence...YUCK!)

Couch
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Old 05-19-09, 05:25 PM   #22
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Gee Hillary,

I kind of feel let down. Every time you post, couch is never on. It would be funny to see you two banter back and forth. I even look for it but you guys keep missing each other.

Oh well, maybe I'll catch you both soon enough.

Thanks for telling us of all these funny stories!
You must have missed when we both posted at the same time... Check out the time of the original post in this thread and the thread couch started about his dog pooing all over his couch.

This is the same sort of thing Ray from Maple said about us over at WTAM. He hasn't gotten to you guys too, has he?
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Old 05-19-09, 06:02 PM   #23
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I assure you, we are two separate people, however we sometimes join as one in the tattoo parlor of life. (I think I just threw up in my mouth with that last sentence...YUCK!)

Couch
What if we invite everyone to come get a tattoo with us this Saturday?
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Old 05-20-09, 07:32 AM   #24
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Hello me lady. Feel free to PM me with contact info. I'm a handsome man!

Couch
methinks YOU would be really surprised.
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Old 05-20-09, 08:18 AM   #25
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Hillary has children and I have a dog and a smelly couch. Check out my smelly couch and my dog thread. Anyway, we are busy peps Siu Blue Wind and cannot find the time to post together. If you want, ask the mods about IP locations. I assure you, we are two separate people, however we sometimes join as one in the tattoo parlor of life. (I think I just threw up in my mouth with that last sentence...YUCK!)

Couch
You realize Siu is an adminstrator on the forums, right? (the three blue stars are a hint.)
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Quote:
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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