OK, I hate to start a "Poor Me" thread, but I'm wondering if anybody here has experienced anything similar to what I've been experiencing for the last 8-12 months. I'm 38, I have a job that keeps me INCREDIBLY busy too many hours per week (high school band director - and please save your "band camp" jokes), and I'm married with two kids, ages 6 & 8.
I've been having some extremely nihilistic thoughts over the past year or so. For example, I sometimes stuck on the whole "meaning of life" question, and I start to wonder if everything really does cease to exist for us once we die, then what's the point of living in the first place if all we're doing is desperately postponing the inevitable lapse into non existence? So then the only answer I can come up with is, yes, we're all pretty much screwed, so why spend so much time and effort on stuff that will do me/us no good eventually anyway? Furthermore, I begin feeling incredibly guilty over having procreated and bringing into this world two incredibly beautiful souls who will eventually have to be emotionally crushed by my death the way I was by my mother's, and will eventually die themselves. It makes me feel very, very narcissistic and guilty for having helped create them in the first place only to have to hurt them so badly later.
Makes a fellow want to say "to h*ll with it" and spend a bunch of money on the ultimate bike. Anyhow, has anybody else had thoughts even remotely similar to this, and if so, did they happen this young? Would you consider this to be midlife crisis material, or am I just certifiably nuts?