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Old 06-08-04, 08:52 AM   #1
slvoid
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How do you cut something 6 ft down to 8 ft?

That's right, one of the senior officers at work just told me to take a 6ft tube and cut it down to 8ft. Speechless...
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Old 06-08-04, 08:56 AM   #2
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What a dolt! Anyone worth their 'Journeyman's Card" knows that a tube STRETCHER is what's needed.
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Old 06-08-04, 09:10 AM   #3
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Tell him you cut it 3 times,and it's still too short
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Old 06-08-04, 09:13 AM   #4
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your answer should have been "are you sure 8 is big enought, i can cut this 6ft tube and make it 12ft?"

LOL!!!
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Old 06-08-04, 09:33 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slvoid
That's right, one of the senior officers at work just told me to take a 6ft tube and cut it down to 8ft. Speechless...
don't ask questions...just do it!
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Old 06-08-04, 09:36 AM   #6
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Cut it into two four foot sections and glue them together!
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Old 06-08-04, 09:43 AM   #7
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Lol, some of you guys think I'm joking but I'm dead serious. This guy points to a tube that's barely taller than me leaning up against a wall and says, "you can take that and cut it down to 8 ft." My heart rate went up 20 beats and I just turned red trying not to laugh. Went back to him an hour later saying, "I couldn't find anything long enough" and he just let the issue die there.

I don't know how I can possibly work under a senior engineer like that.
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Old 06-08-04, 10:21 AM   #8
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Maybe he is a motivational speaker.
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Old 06-08-04, 10:43 AM   #9
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Sounds like you work for the same company as Dilbert..
I know I do..

Last Halloween, they CIO made it mandatory to dress up for morale reasons!
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Old 06-08-04, 11:24 AM   #10
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Seriously this guy's a ******. Last month he told me to "turn it on, make sure it runs first before installing the batteries" to a battery powered device...

He is the only engineer I know where I've used the term flux capacitor in an engineering discussion only to have it fly over his head.
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Old 06-08-04, 11:37 AM   #11
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the only way this would be possible:
Cut the 6ft section into a 4 ft section and a 2ft section
put the 2ft section to the side for now
take the 4ft section and cut it in half, lengthwise
take the two 4ft half sections and put them together, one end to one end,
this will give you an 8ft section
the person who asked you to do this said nothing about maintaining integrity of the initial design
if you are reprimanded for 'thinking outside the box,' grab the 2ft section and hit the person with it.
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Old 06-08-04, 11:56 AM   #12
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I did a horrible party gig in a white tent a while back. The client wanted me to "light the walls so they look black."

I had to explain that I was all out of black gel.
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Old 06-08-04, 11:59 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by [165]
the only way this would be possible:
Cut the 6ft section into a 4 ft section and a 2ft section
put the 2ft section to the side for now
take the 4ft section and cut it in half, lengthwise
take the two 4ft half sections and put them together, one end to one end,
this will give you an 8ft section
the person who asked you to do this said nothing about maintaining integrity of the initial design
if you are reprimanded for 'thinking outside the box,' grab the 2ft section and hit the person with it.
I thought of this much too late but I was gonna tell him that, "I'll try to smelt down the aluminium and craft you a new longer but slightly thinner tube"
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Old 06-08-04, 12:00 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by MERTON
maybe you should talk to his boss? and what is a flux capacitor? sounds like something out of back to the future.
It's what makes time travel possible.
1.21 gigawatts!!!
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Old 06-08-04, 12:10 PM   #15
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I thought that was 'jiggawatts'.
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Old 06-08-04, 12:16 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slvoid
It's what makes time travel possible.
1.21 gigawatts!!!
Funny that a lot of my coworders and I use that term when we are mimicking someone whom thinks they know the technology talk but we know they are full of BS..
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Old 06-08-04, 12:27 PM   #17
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Haha, well I think the term is gigawatts but he pronounced it, "jiggawatts."

This morning one of my coworkers and I was explaining something to this guy and while he was on the phone leaving a voice mail to an engineer at another company, I said, "I'm pretty sure it's the flux capacitor in the circuit board that makes it remember stuff when it loses power" really really loud. I'm pretty sure that's now in the background noise in his voicemail.

This guy's full of BS alright...
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Old 06-08-04, 01:29 PM   #18
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We do antoher fun thing to the guys who are full of it and like to throw buzz words around. When there is a problem, we go up to them and make something up that sound really technical. 5 minutes later you will hear them talking to some of the end users and Regurgitate the exact thing we told them but they are making it like they found the answer..

Slvoid, one day we will have to compare notes. I am in a very similar situation
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Old 06-08-04, 01:58 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bab
We do antoher fun thing to the guys who are full of it and like to throw buzz words around. When there is a problem, we go up to them and make something up that sound really technical. 5 minutes later you will hear them talking to some of the end users and Regurgitate the exact thing we told them but they are making it like they found the answer..

Slvoid, one day we will have to compare notes. I am in a very similar situation
Haha that's exactly my situation. The guy comes up and has me explain to him things like 5-6 times over the course of a day before he goes up to the superiors to tell them about the progress then makes it seem like he did all the work.
I don't think you can compare though, this guy's surpremely stupid.
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Old 06-08-04, 02:57 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slvoid
this guy's surpremely stupid.
He's smart enough to be your boss.

Sorry that was too easy the guy does sound like a complete moron though
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Old 06-08-04, 03:02 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jim-bob
I thought that was 'jiggawatts'.
It is in French!!!

I use the word this way and when I go to Ireland I get the odd funny look but the feckers don't know much further than the word itsel. Hah
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Old 06-08-04, 04:15 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slvoid
Seriously this guy's a ******. Last month he told me to "turn it on, make sure it runs first before installing the batteries" to a battery powered device...

He is the only engineer I know where I've used the term flux capacitor in an engineering discussion only to have it fly over his head.
Is this why he is managment?
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Old 06-09-04, 08:26 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by slvoid
Haha that's exactly my situation. The guy comes up and has me explain to him things like 5-6 times over the course of a day before he goes up to the superiors to tell them about the progress then makes it seem like he did all the work.
I don't think you can compare though, this guy's surpremely stupid.
OH I don't know.... One day we will have to compare stories and see.. Today for example, I was told by the head honcho at 8:30 that I won't be needed in the 9 oclock meeting until about 10 because the first part was just about the facilities... Then at 8:59, he comes to my desk and asks if I am ready and that everyone is waiting..
He reads all the trade rags and then tries to tell us what to do the buzz word tricks.. Last time we let him change something, after he insisted it was the right answer and I didn't really feel like debating it anymore. He broke every machine in the company and then BLAMED me because "I didn't stop him from doing making the change"..
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Old 07-23-04, 08:49 AM   #24
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He is the only engineer I know where I've used the term flux capacitor in an engineering discussion
Sweet Jesus Anyone who can say that sentence in a meeting is my hero
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