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Old 06-02-09, 08:44 AM   #1
crackerjab
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Verge of a breakdown

So over the past 6 months a lot has happened. Divorce, shift in job responsibilities, etc... I've managed to keep it completely together. Never fretting or worrying as there are some things that just are what they are. So I called my mom this morning, as I call her every other day to check in. Apparently my dad had a stroke this weekend. I'm a nervous wreck. I wanna hop on a plane stat and get back home, but apparently I'm the only one who knows besides my mom. My dad doesn't know that I know and my mom insists that I don't mention anything to him or any of my siblings. Not really sure what to do here. Sitting idle in situations like this are not good for me.
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Old 06-02-09, 08:47 AM   #2
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Sorry to hear that CJ.
I don't understand why he wouldn't want you to know though. Its not like he voluntarily beat up a helicopter salesman, you know.
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Old 06-02-09, 08:47 AM   #3
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sorry man. I hope the best for you and your family.
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Old 06-02-09, 08:48 AM   #4
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Old 06-02-09, 08:48 AM   #5
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dang! sorry, Man.

try to chill for a sec and respect his wishes. Maybe get more info from your mom? Can you speak to his doctors? Might be hard these days (confidentiality, etc.)
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Old 06-02-09, 08:50 AM   #6
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Bummer.

Why in the world do they want to keep it a secret?
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Old 06-02-09, 08:53 AM   #7
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My dad is stubborn and doesn't want to worry us. The only reason my mom told me is that I'm the only one that can keep a secret and I'm closest to my dad. She's going to fill me in on the rest when she gets out of court. I'm thinking about saying eff it and hopping on a plane anyway. I spent the first 17 years of my life not listening to them. Might as well pick that trend back up.
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Old 06-02-09, 08:57 AM   #8
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this armchair observer thinks you should just go.
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Old 06-02-09, 08:57 AM   #9
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My dad is stubborn and doesn't want to worry us. The only reason my mom told me is that I'm the only one that can keep a secret and I'm closest to my dad. She's going to fill me in on the rest when she gets out of court. I'm thinking about saying eff it and hopping on a plane anyway. I spent the first 17 years of my life not listening to them. Might as well pick that trend back up.
Maybe wait a day or so and see how he's doing first? If he's improved a lot, then maybe you stay put?
Again, I hope for the best for you and him.
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Old 06-02-09, 08:59 AM   #10
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Sorry to hear, man. I don't know what to tell you. Find a helicopter salesman and take out some frustration, maybe?
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Old 06-02-09, 09:03 AM   #11
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Sorry to hear, man. I don't know what to tell you. Find a helicopter salesman and take out some frustration, maybe?
maybe just take it out on Chipcom? He's pretty close to a helicopter salesman.
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Old 06-02-09, 09:05 AM   #12
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sorry to read about this... but agree with other OP regarding severity of the stroke... however, if you haven't visited in a while, have some vacation time, then perhaps it can be good to get away and do the family thing?

all the best...
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Old 06-02-09, 09:07 AM   #13
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this armchair observer thinks you should just go.
that's what I was thinking too...
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Old 06-02-09, 09:08 AM   #14
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don't really want to piss off a guy who just had a stroke, do you?
I've been through a few of these situations. Unfortunate fact is, going will make YOU feel better but might not be the best for everyone involved. After all, there's nothing you can do to fix things once you get there- IMHO, respect his wishes at least at the immediate moment, and plan a trip for the near future.

of course, this unsolicited advice is coming from someone who would be all "no, don't come see me I'm fine"
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Old 06-02-09, 09:26 AM   #15
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I hope that the decision you make is for the best!
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Old 06-02-09, 09:29 AM   #16
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You and my family are in my thoughts and prayers man.

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Old 06-02-09, 10:35 AM   #17
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You should go. If its not serious you can reverse immediately and secret kept. If it is serious it won't stay a secret and you'll be there that much sooner. Call from the arrival airport before showing up.
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Old 06-02-09, 10:38 AM   #18
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take care *******. i would go if only to support the mum.
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Old 06-02-09, 10:46 AM   #19
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As someone who cares for patient's with strokes all the time, I would suggest that you go. Not necessarily for your father; more for your mom. She likely needs the support. If your dad gets mad, tell him you needed to help mom and he can just deal with it (he won't stay mad long).

Best of luck.
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Old 06-02-09, 10:50 AM   #20
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Sorry to hear about your Dad.

I hope you find your way to making the right decision for all parties concerned.
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Old 06-02-09, 10:52 AM   #21
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My dad is stubborn and doesn't want to worry us.
Dealing with this now. My Mom did the same thing - didn't tell children as not to worry us. She's now been in the hospital for 8 weeks with various infections, etc. Had surgery two weeks ago to remove abscesses from liver and also to remove a huge portion of her large intestine. Still 50-50 on survival.

If we would've known earlier, we would've have made sure she gets taken care of, rather than being rushed to hospital with 80/40 BP. She's had (minor) issues we understand for a couple years. Never told anyone other than my Dad.

Follow your heart and do what you think is best. As parents get older, they don't always make the best decisions.

good luck
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Old 06-02-09, 11:02 AM   #22
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Thanks all. Tickets were acquired moments ago. I'm going under the ruse of a visit to the ex.
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Old 06-02-09, 11:56 AM   #23
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Good luck CJ. I second all of the comments about being there to support your mom.
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Old 06-02-09, 11:59 AM   #24
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Thanks all. Tickets were acquired moments ago. I'm going under the ruse of a visit to the ex.
Good move.
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Old 06-02-09, 11:59 AM   #25
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Thanks all. Tickets were acquired moments ago. I'm going under the ruse of a visit to the ex.

brilliant! and best to you and your family.......
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