I thought of a great idea for couples to communicate better. I think it would work great and be a non-stressful way to understand each other and get what you want out of your partner.
You would need four shoe boxes, two for each person. These shoe boxes would be used to hold little notes. One box would be the "I love (my spouse's name) because..." box, the other would be the "I wish (my spouse's name) would..." box. These boxes would be filled with notes which could be added to at any time. The "I love" notes would have not only the reason that you love the other person but also an explanation of how it makes you feel. The same for the "I wish" box. "I wish that ___ would _____. That would make me feel _______." Then once a week, the partners would get together and take one note out of each box. They would not read the notes out loud. I think it would be best to keep that to themselves so that the other person did not know which "love" and "wish" had just been selected. It would add some mystery and eliminate any possibility of conflict at that moment. The important thing is that once the note was selected and read, the selector would look into their partner's eyes and smile and give a warm hug. That's all. There would be no need for discussion and therefore no tension or feelings of being criticized.
I think this idea is pure genius! "I wish I was a writer so I could write a self-help book based on this". Woo hoo!