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  1. #1
    Senior Member PotatoSlayer's Avatar
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    Getting out of debt

    I've been working my way out of debt for a while now and as I've gotten my cards paid off I've left them open to keep my FICO score up for when I buy a house.

    But I'm about to set a closing date so I'm getting to be sending my letters to the CC companies telling them to close my accounts. Thing is, I'm not going to be professional at all about this... I'm just going to tell them what I think...

    First up, Chase bank...

    This may be pretty vulgar to some people, but this is what I will most likely be sending certified mail or email (I haven't decided which) within a couple weeks. I'm open to suggestions too...

    --


    Dear Chase Bank:

    As of today I am requesting that my accounts ending in XXXX and XXXX be closed. I want you to do this immediately and report it to the credit bureau(s) that this account is to be closed upon consumer request.

    The reason for this closing is simple, you are greedy *****holes and I no longer want anything to do with any more of your bulls###. Quite frankly, I can summarize my feelings toward my relationship with you in to words: F### you.

    You have not made it easy. Every time I am have contacted you I hear about how important my business is to your company. Well, at this point I feel I should have a barcode and serial number engraved on my forehead. I am merely a number to you and that is all. You care about me about as much as an Atlantic City hooker, only wanting the money and not caring that you gave me crabs.

    I will also warn you at this point that this communication may be monitored for quality and training purposes, it also may be sent to various media sources, and mostly likely any reply given may find its way to a public forum I see fit, because I feel the public has a right to know how shady you are. Since youíre running on our money, itís the least you can do, right?

    Youíve raised my APR for no reason, lowered my credit limit to less than my current balance, and had payments get ďlost in the mailĒ even though I made them online through your website. One of the accounts has a credit balance of 95 cents. Send me my check, please.

    And if you didnít try to squeeze every penny out of me directly, you found a way to manipulate my government into bailing you out because you canít handle your own finances. After receiving this help, you thanked America by sending even more jobs to India.

    I realize that you, the person reading this, are probably from India. Let me say I have no personal beef with you and I am requesting you send me some good curry recipes. I really like spicy food.

    You are the worst bank I have ever had to deal with, bar none, and you got even worse when merging with Bank One. Thank you for making my life a living hell for no reason whatsoever.

    You see, I have never been late on a payment despite all the financial crunches I have been in in my life. I take some pride in this. I realize that because of this you consider me to be a ďdeadbeat.Ē Well, if Iím the deadbeat, and Iím actually paying my bills, what are you? If it wasnít for Uncle Sam you wouldíve collapsed, and deservedly so.

    Letís start with my account ending in XXX, which is the first one opened with Chase bank. I liked this card because of the rebates and the 5% back on gas. I established a pattern of paying my bill in full on time every month and because of this you felt obligated to raise my APR to 28%-ish. I guess you figured that if I were to mess up you could kick me while Iím down. Iím not down, Iím not out, and youíve lost another customer.

    You further pissed me off when you, without advanced warning, lowered my credit limit from $4000 to $1600 when my current account balance was $1500 with pending transactions. I caught this right away and you reversed the charge, as you should have. I will not thank you for reversing a charge that should never have been applied in the first place. And if you claim you gave me advance warning, I received the notice in the mail A WEEK AFTER going ďoverĒ my ďlimit.Ē

    Now there is the account ending in XXXX. You have never ceased to amaze me on this account. In fact, the only way to describe Chase bank when it applies to the account is that you are like an infected hemorrhoid right at the base of my ******* when Iím stuck with travelers diarrhea.

    First of all, I do not know if the annoyances and bull**** I have endured on this concept have been with Chase Bank directly or with Bank One, however I consider that to be one in the same as when purchasing Bank One you opened up yourself to their mistakes.

    This account has been at a balance transfer rate for a long time. I have made consistent payments above the minimum while Iíve gotten back on my feet financially. When I first made the balance transfer I was charged a transfer fee. You felt obligated to charge this fee as a purchase and applied the purchase APR to the fee but the balance transfer rate to the balance transfer. How greedy are you, honestly? This came out to about 15 cents a month in your favor on such a small amount. This annoyed the hell out of me but I can see since you canít handle your own finances I guess every little bit helps.

    As a side note, I have found that Quicken really helps track expenses, tell your CEO he might want to try it sometime so he can balance his checkbook.

    Another time you tried to get me with this same account (and tried to raise my APR subsequently) is when you claimed you hadnít receive my payments for two months in a row. I had used your website to directly pay the account but your customer service rep told me that the payment ďprobably got lost in the mail.Ē How the hell could this happen? Do you think Iím a moron? As it turns out a simple AUDIT could have taken care of this as your data entry personnel added an extra 0 to my account number, but you have not admitted to any fault.

    And finally this year as Iím buying a house and taking care of other things you felt the need to violate the terms of my card member agreement by raising my Life of Loan Balance transfer of 5.99% to 15.99% APR. I guess you were hoping I wasnít paying attention. Now Iíve gotten you to lower the amount but you are yet to refund the charges from when my APR was unjustifiably raised.

    Iím through with you and I hope you fail.

    Sincerely,




    P.S. Tell your CEO he needs a new toupee.
    This message will self destruct in 5 seconds

  2. #2
    Squirrelly Member trsidn's Avatar
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    If it makes you feel better, go for it. Don't expect it to change anything.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Yet more proof that I'm.. well, pretty much right about everything.

  3. #3
    Ogr8nwmypstmksnosnse pgoat's Avatar
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    /\ Agreed.

    I'd write it, read it a few times and go for a long bike ride to vent, then frame the letter and look at it anytime you are tempted to buy things with plastic..

    Then write a new letter to your state and Federal electeds with the same (albeit cleaned up) sentiments. That will probably go a longer way towards affecting any change.

    And congrats for erasing your credit card debt. I've been digging my way out since 1989
    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    People whose sig line does not include a jsharr quote annoy me.

  4. #4
    Senior Member skiahh's Avatar
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    I'd get some new credit cards first... if you close your cards, as you know, it will impact your credit score. Your insurance rates - both homeowners and auto - are impacted by that number, not just mortgage rates. All your new utilities will run credit check on you (unless just transferring from one place to the other in your town).

    One new card you may want to get is the Home Depot card... as a new home owner, you will spend a lot of time and money there! Or Lowe's... whichever.

    And even some jobs run a credit check before making an offer.

    It's actually a bit sickening at who and for what purpose that score is used, especially as flawed as it is. I mean... closing accounts and reducing your available credit makes you MORE of a risk? Fair Issac is part of the problem here... the more credit you have the more credit worthy you are. The less you have, the less you should get. Someone's gonna sue them one of these days over this formula and I hope they win!
    www.teamnavycycling.org
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  5. #5
    Senior Member PotatoSlayer's Avatar
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    I will write to elected officials in time...

    I do have some CC accounts that will remain open and I use them and pay them in full every month. I will still have credit. I'm just getting rid of the greedy incompetent bailout *******s such as Chase.
    This message will self destruct in 5 seconds

  6. #6
    Ogr8nwmypstmksnosnse pgoat's Avatar
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    i share your rage, believe me.
    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    People whose sig line does not include a jsharr quote annoy me.

  7. #7
    Carpe Diem bdcheung's Avatar
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    nobody's going to read past the first line.
    "When you are chewing the bars at the business end of a 90 mile road race you really dont care what gear you have hanging from your bike so long as it works."
    ΛΧΑ ΔΞ179 - 15% off your first Hammer Nutrition order!

  8. #8
    Senior Member GP's Avatar
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    You charged up some credit cards and blame the bank?

  9. #9
    austropithicus
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    Quote Originally Posted by bdcheung View Post
    nobody's going to read past the first line.
    True. It's best to call customer service and ask for a manager, then ask for his manager. Get as high on the chain as you can and then throw a verbal assault on him/her. It's much more satisfying than a letter. Trust me, you'll feel great.

  10. #10
    Carpe Diem bdcheung's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PotatoSlayer View Post
    I realize that you, the person reading this, are probably from India. Let me say I have no personal beef with you and I am requesting you send me some good curry recipes. I really like spicy food.
    Irony and ignorance. That's a tough combo to break, but you managed to do it in one sentence.

    Quote Originally Posted by PotatoSlayer View Post
    I established a pattern of paying my bill in full on time every month and because of this you felt obligated to raise my APR to 28%-ish.
    If you always pay on time, then what does it matter?
    "When you are chewing the bars at the business end of a 90 mile road race you really dont care what gear you have hanging from your bike so long as it works."
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  11. #11
    Carpe Diem bdcheung's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by austropithicus View Post
    True. It's best to call customer service and ask for a manager
    Don't bother. Most CS reps at large companies have been re-titled as "Customer Service Managers" or "Customer Account Managers".

    What you should do is engage in conversation, and at some point strike the tone that the current CS rep is not adequately answering your inquiry and asked to be transferred to someone with more knowledge, experience, or gross monthly income.
    "When you are chewing the bars at the business end of a 90 mile road race you really dont care what gear you have hanging from your bike so long as it works."
    ΛΧΑ ΔΞ179 - 15% off your first Hammer Nutrition order!

  12. #12
    austropithicus
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    Quote Originally Posted by bdcheung View Post
    If you always pay on time, then what does it matter?
    Ummm, principle and fairness?

  13. #13
    austropithicus
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    Quote Originally Posted by bdcheung View Post
    What you should do is engage in conversation, and at some point strike the tone that the current CS rep is not adequately answering your inquiry and asked to be transferred to someone with more knowledge, experience, or gross monthly income.
    Right, that's why I said "get as high up the chain as you can".

  14. #14
    Carpe Diem bdcheung's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by austropithicus View Post
    Ummm, principle and fairness?
    It's a business, not a courthouse. If you're not happy with the way they run their ship, then take your business elsewhere but don't whine about it.
    "When you are chewing the bars at the business end of a 90 mile road race you really dont care what gear you have hanging from your bike so long as it works."
    ΛΧΑ ΔΞ179 - 15% off your first Hammer Nutrition order!

  15. #15
    austropithicus
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    Quote Originally Posted by bdcheung View Post
    It's a business, not a courthouse. If you're not happy with the way they run their ship, then take your business elsewhere but don't whine about it.
    OK, you win.

  16. #16
    Carpe Diem bdcheung's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by austropithicus View Post
    OK, you win.
    it's only a TKO.
    "When you are chewing the bars at the business end of a 90 mile road race you really dont care what gear you have hanging from your bike so long as it works."
    ΛΧΑ ΔΞ179 - 15% off your first Hammer Nutrition order!

  17. #17
    Senior Member PotatoSlayer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GP View Post
    You charged up some credit cards and blame the bank?
    No. I take responsibility for my fiances and that is not the issue here.

    Account 1: My regular expense card for 6 six years -- paid in full on time every month. originally around 13% APR if I were to carry a balance but up to 28% APR. Doesn't affect me since it's paid in full but it's the inconsiderateness and greediness that bothers me most. And I wouldn't be surprised if CC companies start getting rid of the grace period.

    Account 2: Offered me a balance transfer rate at one interest rate. I agreed to these terms for life of loan. I have never been late, never had a payment not clear, not defaulted in any way. They have, on numberous occasions, tried to raise my interest rate.

    I have perfect credit from the standpoint that I have never been late, never defaulted under ANY agreement with ANY company.

    Maybe you should reconsider your judgment of me.
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  18. #18
    austropithicus
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    Quote Originally Posted by PotatoSlayer View Post
    Maybe you should reconsider your judgment of me.
    Your OP has attracted trolls. Don't feed the trolls.

  19. #19
    Senior Member PotatoSlayer's Avatar
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    I hope you people realize this is satirical.
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  20. #20
    Third World Layabout crtreedude's Avatar
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    You could cause problems for yourself, it will mean nothing to the clerk who opens it. It isn't exactly a VP sitting there opening the mail you know. But, tick someone off enough and they just might submit a report to the credit bureau that you would find hard to remove, without asking for a favor from people you just pissed off.

    Write the letter, burn it. Move on. No one put a *** to your head making you take the credit card.

  21. #21
    Senior Member MrCrassic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PotatoSlayer View Post
    I've been working my way out of debt for a while now and as I've gotten my cards paid off I've left them open to keep my FICO score up for when I buy a house.

    But I'm about to set a closing date so I'm getting to be sending my letters to the CC companies telling them to close my accounts. Thing is, I'm not going to be professional at all about this... I'm just going to tell them what I think...

    First up, Chase bank...

    This may be pretty vulgar to some people, but this is what I will most likely be sending certified mail or email (I haven't decided which) within a couple weeks. I'm open to suggestions too...

    --


    Dear Chase Bank:

    As of today I am requesting that my accounts ending in XXXX and XXXX be closed. I want you to do this immediately and report it to the credit bureau(s) that this account is to be closed upon consumer request.

    The reason for this closing is simple, you are greedy *****holes and I no longer want anything to do with any more of your bulls###. Quite frankly, I can summarize my feelings toward my relationship with you in to words: F### you.
    At around this sentence, your letter would have been trashed. Just saying.

    And that post is way too long for it to be satire.
    Ride more.

    Code:
    $ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
     $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces

  22. #22
    Senior Member PotatoSlayer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crtreedude View Post
    You could cause problems for yourself, it will mean nothing to the clerk who opens it. It isn't exactly a VP sitting there opening the mail you know. But, tick someone off enough and they just might submit a report to the credit bureau that you would find hard to remove, without asking for a favor from people you just pissed off.
    And that would be illegal and could give me grounds for legal action. They cannot take adverse action against me for simply voicing my opinion and telling them why I am taking my business elsewhere, even if I am doing it in a non-gratuitous manner.
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  23. #23
    Senior Member GP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PotatoSlayer View Post
    Maybe you should reconsider your judgment of me.
    You're incredibly handsome.

  24. #24
    Senior Member PotatoSlayer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GP View Post
    You're incredibly handsome.
    Thanks!!! I've been working out!! :-)
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  25. #25
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    Do it, but take out the curse words. As soon as you use them, YOU are the bad guy. Be creative with your insults. You small penised molester of produce.

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