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Old 07-02-09, 03:41 PM   #1
mustang1
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My SO is always tired, has no interests

Does your SO have any hobbies/interests? My SO is always too tired (please, no jokes, grow up). She works hard, fair enough, but I dont think she undersands there's more to life than just working. I work my ass off too but not only do I have a bunch of energy all the time, on the weekends I do as little work as possible to take a break and do something non-work-related. I even stay away from the bike since I started commuting on it.
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Old 07-02-09, 03:50 PM   #2
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Could she be depressed?
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Old 07-02-09, 03:54 PM   #3
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Yup, sounds like a bit of depression.

My SO doesn't respond well to activities unless they are planned well ahead of time. Schedule a camping trip, weekend getaway, even just a dinner/movie. It might be hard to give the whole plan, but maybe getting her to a dance lesson will reignite interest.

All the above has to be negotiated LONG ahead of time. Plant the seed and keep at her.
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Old 07-02-09, 04:00 PM   #4
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Why not just have a weekend of romance?
Maybe you can have a really nice meal prepared for when she gets home on Friday. Maybe steak and a really nice red wine? Rent some chic flicks, and watch them with her? A nice bath together? Maybe cheesy, but worth a try....a warm bath with rose pedals floating in the tub and a bunch of candles all around?
Just to show her that you care, and that she's your focus.
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Old 07-02-09, 04:30 PM   #5
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^ Um... are you free tomorrow night? ha
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Old 07-02-09, 04:35 PM   #6
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go away. i mean together.
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Old 07-02-09, 04:47 PM   #7
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I once was interested in bicycling.

Now, I don't have the energy anymore.
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Old 07-02-09, 04:54 PM   #8
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^ Um... are you free tomorrow night? ha
no...but the next night maybe.
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Old 07-02-09, 05:18 PM   #9
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Good luck on pepping her up. Even if it is curable depression or a medical issue, the hardest thing to do is often getting the other person open to the idea of letting a professional take a look at the problem.

It is also possible that she is having trouble figuring out what she wants out of life. A mind blowing number of people are totally addicted to work -- even when they hate their jobs. As a society, we do an excellent job of brainwashing people to believe that one way to assert your independence is to subjugate your personal life to your career.

Especially if she is having trouble in that department, it might not be helping if you have your act together. Crazy as it sounds, some people deal better with failure in others than success. I have no advice if you think you may be in this boat.

You may have to accept that you simply have a higher energy level than she does and adjust your plans accordingly. Having significantly more energy than the people around you can be a curse. You'll just be cranking up about the time they want to crash, or you might be ready to move forward when they still want to lay around.
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Old 07-02-09, 06:03 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by mustang1 View Post
Does your SO have any hobbies/interests? My SO is always too tired (please, no jokes, grow up). She works hard, fair enough, but I dont think she undersands there's more to life than just working. I work my ass off too but not only do I have a bunch of energy all the time, on the weekends I do as little work as possible to take a break and do something non-work-related. I even stay away from the bike since I started commuting on it.
Mine is the same way, and she doesn't work, we recently discovered she just hates everything I like and vice versa. The few things we both love are our kids, each other, and vacations.
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Old 07-02-09, 06:05 PM   #11
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Some illegal drugs might do the trick... just saying
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Old 07-02-09, 06:40 PM   #12
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My soon to be ex has that issue. Divorce is how I dealt with it.
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Old 07-02-09, 07:40 PM   #13
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My soon to be ex has that issue. Divorce is how I dealt with it.
RubenX (in the middle of a divorce at the moment) approves this message.
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Old 07-02-09, 07:50 PM   #14
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Does your SO exercise at all? Exercise can make you feel invigorated as well as reduce stress.

My older sister would come home from work and fall asleep on the couch from exhaustion. She started taking Jazzercise classes and she was no longer tired and had 100% more energy.
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Old 07-02-09, 09:12 PM   #15
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Might be a time for just a change, even if its driving to a nearby small town, checking into a hotel, and browsing the streets. Something to change the same old, same old.
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Old 07-02-09, 09:14 PM   #16
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Are you doing a full share of the housework, childrearing, etc.?
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Old 07-02-09, 10:44 PM   #17
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Firstly you have to understand that not everyone has the same ideas about what constitutes a "great life." Yours, obviously, involves exercise and sports activities. Hers, not so much. Perhaps that is because she is a cerebral person whereas you are more physical oriented.

However, I would suggest you TALK TO HER rather than a buncha numbnutz like us on the interwebz. You're more likely to get a fix on her ideas & thinking that way. If that doesn't work, professional intervention is your next step.



Quote:
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Some illegal drugs might do the trick... just saying
Well, just QUIT saying. This is a family forum full of folks who try to be athletes (even if not pros). Not a bunch of kiddies who think messing around with illegal pharmacopia is "the thing to do" for attention or peer respect.
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Old 07-02-09, 11:16 PM   #18
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I think your post was too vague to give any valid advice. All I can say is you should really talk to her about your concerns. Sounds like you two aren't on the same page (or in the same book...).
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Old 07-02-09, 11:17 PM   #19
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perhaps library?
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Old 07-02-09, 11:18 PM   #20
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I think your post was too vague to give any valid advice. All I can say is you should really talk to her about your concerns. Sounds like you two aren't on the same page (or in the same book...).
Maybe, but almost everything you need can be found on the internet, and they probably use the same one...
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Old 07-02-09, 11:28 PM   #21
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Shud up. I'm watchin' my stories.
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Old 07-02-09, 11:31 PM   #22
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Really it only matters if you're in the same town these days. Globalization and all.
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Old 07-02-09, 11:42 PM   #23
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dump her.. lifes too short
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Old 07-03-09, 04:14 AM   #24
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Does your SO exercise at all? Exercise can make you feel invigorated as well as reduce stress.

My older sister would come home from work and fall asleep on the couch from exhaustion. She started taking Jazzercise classes and she was no longer tired and had 100% more energy.
+1 The exercise is a great energy booster, however it's also about getting out and socializing with people.
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Old 07-03-09, 04:24 AM   #25
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Quote:
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Are you doing a full share of the housework, childrearing, etc.?
Good question we all need ask ourselves in this particular situation.... Still. Boredom is depression.
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