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Old 07-11-09, 04:24 AM   #1
sunv
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Tired of being criticized for being cheap

I'm tired of being criticized for being cheap.

I am a college student so most of my money goes to rent and tuition. My money comes from my parents, and I dont work. However I spend that money very carefully. For instance i dont eat out very much, and opt to cook because its cheaper. When I shop for groceries I only buy the discount meats and vegetables. When I do eat out, I only eat at places where I can use coupons to get deals. I dont buy needless things or new clothes, and when I do shop, the first place is look is on craigslist to try and find it used.

My friend criticizes me on all this. We often have arguments over who is richer. I always say he is cause he has all this nice stuff, but he says I am because I have a bigger balance. I explain the bigger balance is because I dont spend my money. My friend who criticizes me does have a job, and is also a college student, but he has loans to pay for most of his tuition. In college he was the richest of us since he got so much financial aid. And while I'm saving money and only spending on essentials, hes using his financial aid money to eat out every day, buy a new laptop, monitor, xbox360, new bicycle... And then he calls me cheap because when he wants to eat out I usually say I dont want to spend money. On top of this hes always complaining how he wants to quit his job but can't because he needs the money. I have told him why does he eat out all the time (spending $16 a day on food vs $5 if you cooked) but he just says hes too lazy to cook.

On top of this my gf also criticizes me for being cheap, saying how we never eat out, or we dont watch movies. She thinks im crazy for wanting to do grocery shopping using my bike. Or how if we want fast food, I offer to bike to the restaurant to get the food and bike back. She got annoyed at me today when I got pissed that this persian food place refused my coupon. I know she was thinking "why is this guy so cheap". But its true that I only eat out when I have coupons so it really irritated me I had to pay full price, but what made me madder was my gf wasn't even standing with me on the issue.

Sometimes I get disgusted at how much money a typical American spends. One can live so much simpler and cheaper if they didn't have a car, and didn't eat out, and don't need to go out to see the latest movie. I understand those things are luxuries but I think for some people (like my gf), they feel they need to get doses of those luxuries at regular intervals to survive. I feel those luxuries should be saved for special occasions, and instead of watching movies in theaters, one can rent DVDs. So what if you see a movie a few months later than everyone else, its the same movie.

SOrry just ranting but I just saw Bruno and it sucked. Waste of $9. One could watch it online or on DVD and it would be the same. No point in going to the theater to watch it.
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Old 07-11-09, 04:33 AM   #2
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you don't get richer by spending it
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Old 07-11-09, 04:37 AM   #3
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You had me until the generalization about the typical American. True, but also applies to all societies.

Other than that, you have my full support. I'll even buy lunch, at McDonalds, dollar menu.
(apple pies, two for a buck)
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Old 07-11-09, 05:48 AM   #4
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Living within your means is great, but don't neglect the GF. She seems to like to dine out once in a while (sans coupon). Might be a place to make an adjustment in your spending.

You can't take it with you.
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Old 07-11-09, 06:52 AM   #5
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I knew Bruno sucked from the tv ads.

Drop the gf. If you choose to save, that's your choice. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone.

"Things" are not better than an education or a degree.

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Old 07-11-09, 07:03 AM   #6
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cheap = rich
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Old 07-11-09, 07:08 AM   #7
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I wouldn't be offended. There's a quiet dignity in being thrifty or frugal (not cheap, you are not cheap).

Personally, I used to piss away money like it was going out of style. I was buying $2000 bike components on impulse every couple of months. I've learned to knock back a lot now (well with a new apt and car to pay for...).

But what I've learned is that there's a huge difference between being thrifty and cheap. Money's made to be spent. How you spend it, defines whether you're cheap or thrifty. I don't mind spending money where it counts.

If I buy oat meal, I would buy generic over brandname because it's the same oat meal and I save $1.50 for a large box. That's thrifty and spending your money wisely. I'm guessing that's something you would do too.

On the flip side. My dad's always been into photography but he's never had time for it. He became unemployed and decided to retire early. It's been his dream for a while to have a high end camera after eeking by with a lot of budget SLR's. But he never went for it since he wanted to squeeze the most out of his retirement money. So when he retired, I bought him a $3500 camera set up. Being thrifty, I would never spend that much if I needed a camera. OTOH, that's not being cheap either. I could've paid 10x the price and it would've been money well spent.

What I'm saying is, you're not cheap, you don't mind spending even large amounts of money if it needs to be spent but you won't spend money unnecessairly, that's being thrifty.

Don't be cheap, just spend it wisely. A friend of mine used to say: You can't take it with you.

Last edited by slvoid; 07-11-09 at 07:24 AM.
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Old 07-11-09, 07:11 AM   #8
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Sam Walton drove an old pickup truck and bought his clothes from Walmart, and was worth $23 billion when he died!
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Old 07-11-09, 07:11 AM   #9
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yes he is. i am cheap so i have cheapdar.
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Old 07-11-09, 07:15 AM   #10
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I think you are very smart. Thrift is a virtue.
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Old 07-11-09, 07:26 AM   #11
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Sam Walton drove an old pickup truck and bought his clothes from Walmart, and was worth $23 billion when he died!
I wouldn't say Sam Walton "bought" his clothes from Walmart...
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Old 07-11-09, 09:23 AM   #12
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I say good for the OP. I worked my way through undergrad and grad school working 20 hours per week at the local hospital. I had no loans and graduated debt free. Wait until your friend graduates and has to start paying back those loans. I know professionals in their 40-50s who are still paying off their six-figure student loans and have not been able to buy a home because of it. This is especially problematic when you can only find a job paying $ 30,000 per year.

You are learning life skills now that will serve you well in life and the new economy. As for the girlfriend, why isn't she taking you out to dinner and buying food?
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Old 07-11-09, 09:25 AM   #13
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Be frugal. But don't be a d*ck.

Arguments with friends over who has more money? Lame. Stop acting like you're still in HS.

Aaaaaand that's my HTFU moment for today.
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Old 07-11-09, 09:38 AM   #14
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Sometimes I get disgusted at how much money a typical American spends.
It's understandable. My issue isn't with the amount, but the fact that so much of it is credit and people are just spending themselves into unsalvageable financial pits.
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Old 07-11-09, 10:28 AM   #15
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Dump the GF. Living within your means is an admirable skill which few people have nowadays. In fact, the whole stupid recession we're in is caused by people NOT living within their means. Idiots.
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Old 07-11-09, 10:51 AM   #16
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You are far, far richer than your friend. That's a no-brainer.

As for the gf, time to move on. As has been said, you are incompatible. Not much more there, really.
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Old 07-11-09, 10:57 AM   #17
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I have 3 basic nondiscussion topics, myself.

How much money I or you have
Religion
politics

(An exception to the last two in P&R, of course, that's my outlet there.)

You're being frugal and smart, I agree. Keep it up.
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Old 07-11-09, 11:02 AM   #18
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The person happiest with their situation is richest.
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Old 07-12-09, 06:13 AM   #19
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You're thrifty, not cheap.

My mother-in-law had a neighbour that was cheap. He used to go to Mcdonalds for coffee, so he could get a free refill and read the newspaper, even though he didn't like the coffee. He did his own dental work... His house has never been painted inside - and it is over 20 years old. Also doesn't have a porch or anything by the back door - it is just a 2 foot drop to the ground.
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Old 07-12-09, 07:39 AM   #20
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Don't let yourself get sucked into using money as the scoreboard for your life. There are many other more important things on which to focus. Not that money is not important, just not most important.
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Old 07-12-09, 07:43 AM   #21
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My mother-in-law had a neighbour that was cheap. He used to go to Mcdonalds for coffee, so he could get a free refill ....
I've known people who kept the paper cup so they could get a free coffee on another day!


Having said that I'm pretty cheap, and I hate it when my boyfriend wants me to "go halves" in a poker machine. I hate that kind of waste of money.
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Old 07-12-09, 07:58 AM   #22
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Heehee! We take turns paying for dinner and such, but pokies.... no way, I don't put money in those!
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Old 07-12-09, 08:27 AM   #23
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sack up and get a job. sheesh.
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Old 07-12-09, 10:19 AM   #24
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who doesn't like a 2 for 1 offer?

if i get 50% off, i don't care if it was thousands or a few pennies. it's a win!
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Old 07-12-09, 11:56 AM   #25
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Tell your "friends" and "girlfriend" to buzz off. I am as frugal as they come and dated a man who was just the same. We got on well and had no problem making a dollar scream. Oh the flip side, I dated a man who made over $100k and would always eat out (at crappy establishments) and would not spend a dime on fixing up his house, teeth or self until he met me. In the short end of things, I spent more money on him because I was buying tickets for us to do the things he would never buy for himself.
Being frugal, I have managed to travel around the world alone. Stay at the only 7 star hotel, flown on the Concorde and a lot of other things most dream of doing. To top it off, I own a house and soon hope to land a deal on another. I work part time, very part time. I manage things well in my life and have more than those who have something to say.
Guy, keep doing what you do and see how far you end up in life when others are still at the start line.
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