I just finished baking bread, was putting water on for tea, I turned around to look out the back doorway that's in the kitchen when in lumbered one of the largest fracking spiders I have ever seen. I'm highly arachnophobic so once my brain processed what my eyes didn't want to believe I screamed, loud. I started to violently shake all over, thinking there's no one home upstairs to "save me" so I told the evil arachnid "YOU. DO NOT MOVE" as it was just below the door and I had to step over it to escape outside. I ran around the side of the house and YAY my landlord was just coming home. I could barely speak. Mostly it was "HUGE.SPIDER.NEAR.DOOR" I had previously warned him of my arachnophobia so he went and got a container to catch it in. He put it in the alley. Hopefully the thing doesn't come back. Christ, it was ENORMOUS.
I'm still shaking hard enough I can barely type. I really hate spiders. Dammit.