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Old 07-23-09, 08:48 AM   #1
flyingscotsman
Nothing here to see!!!!!!
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Best Out of Office Automatic e-mails Replies

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail
to get the position.
Please be prepared for my mood.


2. You are receiving this automatic notification, because I am out of the office.
If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have
received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed
so I can be promoted to our management team.


4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation.
Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.


5. Thank you for your email.
Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each
additional word in your message.


6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection.
Your message has not been delivered.
Please restart your computer and try sending again.
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over
and over....)


7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in
approximately
19 weeks.


8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me.
Please wait by your PC for
my response.


9. I've run away to join a different circus.


10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve
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Old 07-23-09, 08:58 AM   #2
jsharr
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You are receiving this auto reply because I am on Foo right now. If you really need to contact me, log onto bikeforums.net and send me a pm or post in the whatchadoin thread. My user name is _______________
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Quote:
Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 07-23-09, 09:05 AM   #3
2manybikes
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You are receiving this automated email response because my executive assitant is now taking all my email. You can contact him at - jsharr on BikeForums.
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Old 07-23-09, 09:06 AM   #4
jsharr
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hey boss!
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 07-23-09, 09:10 AM   #5
2manybikes
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hey boss!
Sorry to tell you this but we are being affected by the lousy economy too. We have eliminated your position. It's nothing personal, it's just business. It was nice working with you.
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Old 07-23-09, 09:12 AM   #6
jsharr
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wish I could say the same. Anyone want pics of 2mb naked in front of a picture of pcad?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 07-23-09, 09:16 AM   #7
crackerjab
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Not an out of office reply but I use this is my default confidentiality footer...

STATEMENT OF CONFIDENTIALITY

Information contained in the electronic message and any attachments to this message are intended for the exclusive use of the addressee(s) and may contain confidential or privileged information. Does anybody actually read this crap. If you are not the intended recipient, please destroy all copies of this message and any attachments and advise sender(xxxxxxxxxx.com).
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Your turtle skirt is exposing your FUPA.
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Old 07-23-09, 09:41 AM   #8
2manybikes
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wish I could say the same. Anyone want pics of 2mb naked in front of a picture of pcad?


I was going to say that you could use me for a reference. But now that you have decided to blackmail me........

Can I get you a coffee while you wait Mr. jsharr, sir? How about a snack? Need any bike parts?
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Old 07-23-09, 09:50 AM   #9
jsharr
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How much is that doggy in the window, I mean trike basket?
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Quote:
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 07-23-09, 09:52 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crackerjab View Post
Not an out of office reply but I use this is my default confidentiality footer...

STATEMENT OF CONFIDENTIALITY

Information contained in the electronic message and any attachments to this message are intended for the exclusive use of the addressee(s) and may contain confidential or privileged information. Does anybody actually read this crap. If you are not the intended recipient, please destroy all copies of this message and any attachments and advise sender(xxxxxxxxxx.com).
We used to be required to have a statement something like that. Only our was an ITAR (International Traffic in Arms Regulations) saying the message was not to go outside of the USA and/or be forwarded to or read by people not employees of XYZ or citizens of the USA.

Then.....a few years ago, to save money, the moved all of our email hosting servers to India. Once somebody pointed it out to them that we were now sending ALL of our ITAR emails to India before they came back to the recipient, the company decided to add an encryption system to our email and we no longer "had to" have the ITAR statement in our emails. But from then any email that had any ITAR related information had to be encrypted before sending.

How again does this save money?
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- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 07-23-09, 09:53 AM   #11
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Hi! I'm out of the office at the moment and all I can tell you is: You wish you were where I am.
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Old 07-23-09, 04:07 PM   #12
2manybikes
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Quote:
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How much is that doggy in the window, I mean trike basket?


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