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  1. #1
    Senior Member cyclezealot's Avatar
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    Sex in a Sleeping Bag vs. Sex in Outer Space

    Great Balls of Fire.. Flying spools of spunk and sweat. .. Motion causing objects to fly in opposite directions. The problems of sex in Outer Space. Who wants the experience.. ? Solutions.?
    ??
    ..
    ..
    While most Psychology Today readers have slept in sleeping bags, the chances are good that not many of you have had sex in a sleeping bag--as long as we define "sex" as intercourse only.

    And while astronauts have spent thousands of hours in space, NASA still claims to know nothing about things as simple as the impact of extended weightlessness on the male sexual docking device--as if male and female astronauts living in the space station haven't felt the desire to masturbate or fool around.
    So let's look at sex in two very different frontiers with very different technologies, considering there's a bit more engineering that goes into a space shuttle or space station as opposed to a sleeping bag.

    As for sex in a sleeping bag, an area of concern is the wet spot. That's why some campers pack condoms next to their dehydrated cheesy bacon spuds. Unfortunately, the condom is likely to taste better than the dehydrated meals a lot of people pack in. You also might consider including a few pet peepads or disposable hospital pads to wedge between your back-packing booty and sleeping bag proper.

    There are competing schools of thought about sex in one bag versus zipping two bags together. The one-bag solution forces a more immediate can't-back-away-from-you-if-I-tried scenario, while two-bags-as-one might appeal more to campers who have already gotten the fantasy of mummy sex out of their systems.

    While curious bears are not an issue in outer space, they are in some wilderness areas. I don't know if it's the sounds of the couple or the smells of the lovemaking that attract the bears, or maybe it's the scent on the peepads. Whatever the case, the only excuse for not carrying out stained pads and spent condoms is if a bear eats you.

    As for intercourse in space, how many thrusts would it take before the woman went floating one way through the space capsule with her lover floating in the opposite direction? NASA engineers could place special handles throughout the space station to make space sex (Sput-nookie?) possible.

    There's also the question of how to masturbate in outer space. While perhaps not as big a deal for female astronauts, what happens if a guy loses himself in the moment and a weightless wad of splooge goes flying through the space station? Does he throw a sock at it?

    Some of you might be thinking this is all far fetched, just like people during the last Great Depression thought that going to the moon was far fetched. As for myself, I think that anyone who appreciates how splooge in space floats up rather than trickles down may have a better grasp on our nation's economy than the economists who have been guiding it.

    Whether your sex is in the woods or out of this world, it can be both fun and thought-provoking to think about the challenges of doing it in environments that are not as familiar as our bedrooms.

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...in-outer-space
    Pray for the Dead and Fight like Hell for the Living






    ^ Since January 1, 2012

  2. #2
    Senior Member late's Avatar
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    velcro
    We are as gods, we might as well get good at it.
    Stewart Brand

  3. #3
    Senior Member cyclezealot's Avatar
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    I was wondering about that. But, once motion starts in outer space, does it not go on forever. What if one could not stop the ins and outs of motion. But, then the Phiser Riser supposedly keeps the male enhanced for four hours.?
    Pray for the Dead and Fight like Hell for the Living






    ^ Since January 1, 2012

  4. #4
    I ain't no newbie redirekib's Avatar
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    You failed to cover the outer space three way.
    "Never send a monkey to do a man's job." ~ Captain Leo Davidson ~

  5. #5
    Senior Member cyclezealot's Avatar
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    a 3 way.. That's surely a lot of Velcro..
    But, Velcro, really.....?. Nah../ . Personally, I suspect I'd prefer something with a little more elasticity.
    Pray for the Dead and Fight like Hell for the Living






    ^ Since January 1, 2012

  6. #6
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redirekib View Post
    You failed to cover the outer space three way.
    Now that, I wondered about.

  7. #7
    Senior Member cyclezealot's Avatar
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    One aspect the story did not mention.. In outer space human's are more easily subjected to vomiting. Sex needs motion and shaking up one's innards.. ?.. Better have sex before breakfast.
    Pray for the Dead and Fight like Hell for the Living






    ^ Since January 1, 2012

  8. #8
    Super Moderator no1mad's Avatar
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    Space sex solution- mag boots for him, helmet for her with a discretely placed lanyard for both.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cyril View Post
    Ride what and in what manner pleases you. Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind. srsly.
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  9. #9
    Overacting because I can SpongeDad's Avatar
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    I thought this was going to be a poll.
    “Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." (Churchill)

    "I am a courageous cyclist." (SpongeDad)

  10. #10
    Peloton Dog patentcad's Avatar
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    There's a porno movie in this somewhere.

    Space Studs.

  11. #11
    on by skijor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpongeDad View Post
    I thought this was going to be a poll.
    Speaking of which, how does the brass pole fit into this?

  12. #12
    Senior Member Nota's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by late View Post
    velcro
    Or better yet, a simple bungee cord. I would think that a nice sized bungee cord, looped about the waists of both outter space sex participants, would do nicely for keeping things in repetitive motion. It would prevent things from becoming too one dimensional, resulting from one of the, otherwise untethered, participants, flying off on a tangent after each docking or un-docking maneuver.

    This leads me to wonder what affects the weightless environment would have on fertilization. I mean, would all the little tadpoles get disoriented on which way to go in order to swim, up-stream? Or, would the lack of gravity simply aid them in their journey to the North Pole? If so, I would think it could increase the chances for multiple births. I wonder if the Russians have studied this?

    *Hmm...an outter space fertitily clinic, now there's an idea*
    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.” Mark Twain (apocryphal)

  13. #13
    Senior Member Nota's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
    There's a porno movie in this somewhere.
    Starring, Sigourney Weaver, as the chased, but not chaste, femme fatale, and the bear from The Edge, as the would-be alien impregnator.
    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.” Mark Twain (apocryphal)

  14. #14
    on by skijor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
    There's a porno movie in this somewhere.
    There's app for that.

  15. #15
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    There's also the question of how to masturbate in outer space. While perhaps not as big a deal for female astronauts, what happens if a guy loses himself in the moment and a weightless wad of splooge goes flying through the space station? Does he throw a sock at it?
    If you had served on submarines in the Navy, you would understand the concept of "the patrol sock". I can say no more.
    Regards, MillCreek
    Snohomish County, Washington USA

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