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Old 08-05-09, 06:33 PM   #1
FlatMaster
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Easiest $5 ever

This story fits in to a longer story about an exceptionally weird day, but I don't feel like typing.

I had recently been sick recently, but I decided to ride anyway. Hit the hill a little hard and I spewed in the gutter at the top of the hill. Felt fine after that, so I kept going. Few miles later, I get hit by a thunderstorm.



I had rain gear, but could only find a pavilion for shelter, so I'm soaked to the bone. I stop at Wallymart where I acquire candles and redneck NASCAR poptarts.



So here's the picture. I'm sitting outside Walmart. I'm soaked, shivering, wearing neon raingear, dirty from crouching down on the ground to avoid lightning, and I probably smell a little like vomit.

Someone hands me $5!!! He goes into the god/jesus speech what a few "I'm not from a monkey"'s thrown in for good measure. As he gets into his SUV to drive off, he points to his arm and says "I used to be a junky you know" I'm pretty sure he was implying that he thought I was.
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Last edited by FlatMaster; 08-05-09 at 06:45 PM.
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Old 08-05-09, 06:36 PM   #2
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Lol
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Old 08-05-09, 06:48 PM   #3
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Sweet!
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Old 08-05-09, 07:21 PM   #4
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owned.
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Old 08-05-09, 07:27 PM   #5
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I would also assume someone desparate enough to eat NASCAR poptarts must be a junkie.
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Old 08-05-09, 07:31 PM   #6
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I would also assume someone desparate enough to eat NASCAR poptarts must be a junkie.
I thought they were just pictures of the cars, but there are trivia questions on some!!
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Old 08-05-09, 07:33 PM   #7
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I thought they were just pictures of the cars, but there are trivia questions on some!!
Food should not have trivia questions on it.
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Old 08-05-09, 07:51 PM   #8
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Wait, there are pictures ON the food??
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Old 08-05-09, 08:17 PM   #9
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Unless the pictures are drawn on the food with chocolate or icing I'm not eating it.
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you should learn to embrace change, and mock it's failings every step of the way :p
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Old 08-05-09, 08:55 PM   #10
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Alerbamer
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Old 08-06-09, 12:06 AM   #11
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Oh man, LOL, you must have looked like snit!!!

LOL - How to beat a good man down - hand him $5 with a dog lecture!





btw - wassup with those redneck 'tarts? Never seen those!!! Too funny!!
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Old 08-06-09, 12:19 AM   #12
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Please PM me your PayPal address. I want some NASCAR pop tarts.

No, not because I'm a NASCAR fan...because I think they're utterly ridiculous.
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Old 08-06-09, 12:19 AM   #13
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My daughters and I were walking down the street enjoying some ice cream and stopped to listen to a few young ladies who were singing and plating (busking) on the street.

They said it was slow and no-one had been donating (and they were good)... the guitar player said her hands were killing her.

I took a turn playing (badly) and very soon after that a guy stops, looks at my daughters... and drops a 20 in the guitar case.

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Old 08-06-09, 12:51 AM   #14
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My daughters and I were walking down the street enjoying some ice cream and stopped to listen to a few young ladies who were singing and plating (busking) on the street.

They said it was slow and no-one had been donating (and they were good)... the guitar player said her hands were killing her.

I took a turn playing (badly) and very soon after that a guy stops, looks at my daughters... and drops a 20 in the guitar case.

Wow!

That's gotta be awfully close to $5 US.
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Old 08-06-09, 01:03 AM   #15
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I might have to look at busking as a new career...
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Old 08-06-09, 08:27 AM   #16
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wow... FlatMaster... that's awesome..
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Old 08-06-09, 08:34 AM   #17
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I hope you used the $5 to buy a fix.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 08-06-09, 09:21 AM   #18
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I'm pretty sure the one time I bonked, I would've looked to casual passerby like I was crashing.
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Old 08-06-09, 09:22 AM   #19
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I had recently been sick recently,
How long ago....was it recent?


LOL, actually...this is pretty funny. I had a similar thing happen once and made money off it too. I had a friend in high school....the two of us were complete nut cases. We loved to do things in public that were just weird. One day I was wearing my fedora type hat while we were in the newly opened (at the time) Tampa convention center.

We thought it would be a hoot to "out of the blue" just start singing in the middle of this big lobby to see the looks on people's faces. My hat was a little big and kept falling in my eyes, so I set it on the ground in front of us.

You can where this is going.....people start thinking we're like street performers and start tossing money in to my hat in front of us. We laughed and kept going and for about 8 minutes (2 songs, maybe 3), we made about $15 or $20. Not bad for a 17 year old kid or so for a few minutes of *work*.
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Old 08-06-09, 09:26 AM   #20
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LMAO!
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Old 08-06-09, 09:36 AM   #21
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I used to live in a loft in Deep Ellum in Dallas. My place was in the middle of the block and was equidistant to two very successful clubs, so on weekend nights, the walk out front was very crowded. My friends, many of whom were well to do, would come hang out. We would often open the front blinds of this old storefront that had been converted to a loft and line up all my kitchen and patio chairs in two long rows. Then we would play "Deep Ellum roller coaster" by raising our arms over our heads and in unison leaning forward, back, left, right, etc, all while screaming and laughing.

We made money selling "rides" on it to passers by.

Oft times, we would go to my kitchen and grab coffee mugs and then stand in my doorway saying "Money for beer, money for pizza" to passers by. After we got $30 or so, I would jump in my Jeep and go grab a case of beer and a pepperoni pizza for my buds.

Mind you, we were generally dressed nice, getting ready to go out, etc.

People will hand over their hard earned money for the strangest reasons.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 08-06-09, 09:39 AM   #22
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All HMS pop tarts you lucked out.
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Old 08-06-09, 09:40 AM   #23
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All HMS pop tarts you lucked out.
Except if the pic was true to life, the poptarts would line up 48,5,24 and then way way way behind them would be the 88 poptart.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 08-06-09, 09:43 AM   #24
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swallow, and that could have been $25
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Old 08-06-09, 12:41 PM   #25
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Except if the pic was true to life, the poptarts would line up 48,5,24 and then way way way behind them would be the 88 poptart.

No worries...There'll be a yellow for debris on the table to let it catch up.
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