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  1. #1
    Bicycle Repair Man !!! Sixty Fiver's Avatar
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    Foosteris Commonalis

    Cue Hinterland Who's Who theme music (Canadians will understand this)...

    There are few animals with a range of the Common Fooster (Foosteris commonalis)... their adaptive skills have allowed them to inhabit every type of environment on earth.

    Their appearance differs widely by geographical areas and they are able to subsist on a wide variety of foods although they do seem to have a special fondness for cheezits and pistachio flavored items.

    The northern Fooster has a heavier coat and will spend some time in a partial hibernation when the temperatures drop although some lone individuals have been known to foray in temperatures as low as -46C and will often be seen frollicking in the snow on warmer winter days.

    Foosters in warmer climates tend to have lighter coats and have trouble adapting to temperatures any lower than 10C and this is evidenced by their plaintive cries and refusal to leave their warm and cozy nests.

    The mating habits of Foosters are still poorly understood... although they are usually very social creatures mating still seems to be a challenge and captive breeding programs have not been successful.

    As with everything there are exceptions... some Foosters have been known to migrate long distances to find a mate.

    The best way to study species is in their natural environment and since the common Fooster is not hard to find and generally does not shy away from human contact like many animals, they are an easy animal to observe..

    Their lack of fear likely stems from having few natural predators but as with any wild animal one should approach slowly and carefully as to not startle them.

    If startled a Fooster may fling fish in a defensive act while others will cover their eyes in what can only be described as a facepalm... perhaps they think that we cannot see them if they cannot see us.

    Foosters aslo seem to get along with other species they do not consider food and seem to have a particular affection for the common housecat and have been known collect many of these and share their food and nests with them.

    Despite their mating issues they do not seem to be at any risk of extinction.

  2. #2
    Mrs. DataJunkie Luddite's Avatar
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    hahaha...that "hinterland" has always creeped me out, what or WHERE the hell is "hinterland?"

  3. #3
    Riding Heaven's Highways on the grand tour ModoVincere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luddite View Post
    hahaha...that "hinterland" has always creeped me out, what or WHERE the hell is "hinterland?"
    just above the nether regions.
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  4. #4
    Mrs. DataJunkie Luddite's Avatar
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    So this species exists just above my nether regions?! I better go see a Dr...

  5. #5
    Riding Heaven's Highways on the grand tour ModoVincere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luddite View Post
    So this species exists just above my nether regions?! I better go see a Dr...
    yes, before the condition becomes chronic. for some, its already too late.
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  6. #6
    Administrator CbadRider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sixty Fiver View Post
    The mating habits of Foosters are still poorly understood... although they are usually very social creatures mating still seems to be a challenge and captive breeding programs have not been successful.

    As with everything there are exceptions... some Foosters have been known to migrate long distances to find a mate.
    Some older females of the species have been known to prey on younger males.


    Quote Originally Posted by toddles View Post
    So Tom only hires people that are nutty? Is part of the requirement to be a moderator on this site is that you have to be nuts??
    Forum Guidelines *click here*

  7. #7
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    It should be noted that my vast research shows that all species of foosteris have extremely "productive" GI tracts and some species are known to fling the resultant by product with great accuracy.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  8. #8
    Bicycle Repair Man !!! Sixty Fiver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CbadRider View Post
    Some older females of the species have been known to prey on younger males.

    This has been observed in our studies and we have nicknamed one of these older females Cbad due to the geographical location she was found... she is an attractive specimen that appears to be in very good health and we believe that most of the males her age are simply unable to catch her.

    We say most as there have been unconfirmed reports that she has been seen with an older male and she has taken on the characteristic glow that females exhibit when they finally do find a mate.

    When male foosters find a mate they can exhibit marked intellectual loss and a reduction in their functional abilities... this process is not yet understood.

  9. #9
    Mrs. DataJunkie Luddite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CbadRider View Post
    Some older females of the species have been known to prey on younger males.


    Sometimes the younger males prey on us, too.

  10. #10
    Riding Heaven's Highways on the grand tour ModoVincere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luddite View Post
    Sometimes the younger males prey on us, too.
    what's age got to do with it?
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  11. #11
    Domestic Domestique UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
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    They also appear to be unbelievably creative.

  12. #12
    Bicycle Repair Man !!! Sixty Fiver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UnsafeAlpine View Post


    They also appear to be unbelievably creative.
    They appear to be willing to do almost anything for cheezits or sex.

  13. #13
    Riding Heaven's Highways on the grand tour ModoVincere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sixty Fiver View Post
    They appear to be willing to do almost anything for cheezits or sex.
    both
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  14. #14
    Administrator CbadRider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sixty Fiver View Post
    They appear to be willing to do almost anything for chocolate or sex.
    Fixed for accuracy.
    Quote Originally Posted by toddles View Post
    So Tom only hires people that are nutty? Is part of the requirement to be a moderator on this site is that you have to be nuts??
    Forum Guidelines *click here*

  15. #15
    Seņor Member USAZorro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CbadRider View Post
    Some older females of the species have been known to prey on younger males.


    Perhaps the condition is chronic, but in your case, I think you're acute.

    I've heard some of them actually ride bicycles also.

    Why do I feel a craving for pie?
    The search for inner peace continues...

  16. #16
    Chepooka StupidlyBrave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    It should be noted that my vast research shows that all species of foosteris have extremely "productive" GI tracts and some species are known to fling the resultant by product with great accuracy.
    great accuracy is highly subjective...

  17. #17
    BF Risk Manager
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    If someone could fling cheezits with great accuracy into my mouth while having sex with me, that would be awesome.
    Regards, MillCreek
    Snohomish County, Washington USA

  18. #18
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StupidlyBrave View Post
    great accuracy is highly subjective...
    Quote Originally Posted by MillCreek View Post
    If someone could fling cheezits with great accuracy into my mouth while having sex with me, that would be awesome.
    I hear Pgoat has great accuracy and hits the spot everytime.............. Or was that ehidle?
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

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