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  1. #1
    Hillary 2016
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    Couch the seminarian

    Dear friends of foo,

    I come to you all bearing some very bad news. Last night, a drunken dirtbag came to my house and told me that he was going away for a while. I do not know when he will return.

    While we were joking about Couch and Couchology, he was very serious. He stumbled into my house lamenting my water drinking ways by quoting Saint Arnold of Metz. "Don't drink water, drink beer." I tried to explain to Couchie that we didn't have the same worries about water purity that they did in the 640s, but that didn't stop him from pouring a Dogfish IPA down my throat.

    Then Couchie kicked my wife out of the bathtub and attempted to change her dirty bathwater into beer, like Saint Brigid of Kildare. Then, that dirtbag drank all the water. After he drank all of the water, he said it tasted better than Coors Light.

    But I think he knew that he was unsuccessful in the conversion of dirty bathwater into beer. That is why Couchie has decided to retreat to a Couchology Monastery for his studies. I am afraid that this monastery places an emphasis on seclusion from the rest of the world.



    I hope that we can all pray together that Couchie doesn't end up like Saint Lawrence. Saint Lawrence was strapped to a gridiron and slow roasted over an open flame, just like malt is roasted for beer.

  2. #2
    Seņor Member USAZorro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
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    Carlisle, PA
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    1954 Hetchins M.O., 1959 Viking Severn Valley, 1970 Raleigh Pro, 1972 Fuji "The Finest", 1974 Raleigh Superbe&Comp, 1976 Raleigh Team Pro, 1994 Trek 830 MTB, 2000 Bob Jackson Arrowhead, Unicycle
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    Wait. I call B.S..

    Everyone knows that a coven of witches transmogrified St. Lawrence into a river.
    The search for inner peace continues...

  3. #3
    Your imaginary friend. fuzzbox's Avatar
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    Jul 2007
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    Wandering aimlessly.
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    A sweet Quamen ATL custom, GT Mach 2
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    Bologna Sandwich? Can I haz one 2?

    Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    "Saint Lawrence was strapped to a gridiron and slow roasted over an open flame" Caution him about SHC.
    "harder" is not a very good safeword.

  5. #5
    long time visiter Alfster's Avatar
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    Oct 2005
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    SW Ontario
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    2005 Trek 6700 disc 2007 Orbea Onix 2009 Raleigh One Way
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    May I ask how Couch attempted to change the dirty bath water into beer? He may be onto something big here.

  6. #6
    Pwnerer Wordbiker's Avatar
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    Jun 2005
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    Pagosa Springs, CO, USA
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    I don't think "seminary" means what he thinks it means.
    Quote Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
    Ski, bike and wish I was gay.

  7. #7
    Chepooka StupidlyBrave's Avatar
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    Sep 2006
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    South Central PA
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    Does this qualify as a hymn in this church?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-jOEAufDQ4

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