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  1. #1
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    I am you, you are me, we are one.

    This came over me when I was reading and posting in threads (of all things).

    Do you find that (over a certain amount of time) you start to 'morph' into your SO?

    Do you start to think the same things, crave the exact foods.......or do your habits become very similar? Does your sense of humor become very much like theirs? Or even the topics your discuss, your ideals, your reasoning, your ability to debate - do they become almost duplicates of each other's?

    If so, what do you think is the cause of this is?

    And where is the line drawn in regards to individuality?

    Does it affects your SO's personal persona or ideas of self?
    Last edited by Siu Blue Wind; 08-15-09 at 09:58 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  2. #2
    VFL For Life Velo Vol's Avatar
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    No.

  3. #3
    Ogr8nwmypstmksnosnse pgoat's Avatar
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    yes. we call it couple-itis. you finish each other's sentences, etc.

    It was a little freaky when it first started happening but after a certain point you just laugh about it.
    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    People whose sig line does not include a jsharr quote annoy me.

  4. #4
    long time visiter Alfster's Avatar
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    Yes this can happen to a certain degree. I don't think it changes your core beliefs and values, however you do tend to see things through the eyes of your SO. I see it as complimenting, and improving your outlook on life. The best is when you both become interested and excited about the same things. In my relationship, I find that we both like similar sports, arts, etc. It makes for a much stronger relationship since you both want to do the same things. Having said that, you still must maintain individuality with your own interests.

    I'm glad you found someone that you can share interests with. Dan is a lucky guy!

  5. #5
    Ogr8nwmypstmksnosnse pgoat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alfster View Post
    Yes this can happen to a certain degree. I don't think it changes your core beliefs and values, however you do tend to see things through the eyes of your SO. I see it as complimenting, and improving your outlook on life. The best is when you both become interested and excited about the same things. In my relationship, I find that we both like similar sports, arts, etc. It makes for a much stronger relationship since you both want to do the same things. Having said that, you still must maintain individuality with your own interests.

    I'm glad you found someone that you can share interests with. Dan is a lucky guy!
    Yes

    Yes

    Yes
    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    People whose sig line does not include a jsharr quote annoy me.

  6. #6
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
    This came over me when I was reading and posting in threads (of all things).

    Do you find that (over a certain amount of time) you start to 'morph' into your SO?

    Do you start to think the same things, crave the exact foods.......or do your habits become very similar? Does your sense of humor become very much like theirs? Or even the topics your discuss, your ideals, your reasoning, your ability to debate - do they become almost duplicates of each other's?

    If so, what do you think is the cause of this is?

    And where is the line drawn in regards to individuality?

    Does it affects your SO's personal persona or ideas of self?
    "Always and forever
    Each moment with you
    Is just like a dream to me
    That somehow came true

    And I know tomorrow
    Will still be the same
    Cause we've got a life of love
    That won't ever change and..

    Every day
    Love me your own special way
    Melt all my heart away
    With a smile

    Take time to tell me
    You really care
    And we'll share tomorrow together
    I'll always love you Forever

    There'll always be sunshine
    When I look at you
    It's something I can't explain
    Just the things that you do

    And if you get lonely
    Phone me and take
    A second to give to me
    That magic you make and..
    Every day
    Love me your own special way
    Melt all my heart away
    With a smile

    Take time to tell me
    You really care
    And we'll share tomorrow together
    I'll always love you Forever"

    Yup, as you know me and my SO have been together for 27 years now, and as Siu knows not all good (I'd say 90% great!) although most will not believe it we are almost like twins! we think alike, finish each others sentances, we often (so often it gets spooky sometimes!) pick up the phone to call each other just to find each other on the line! and this happens before the phone rings! So yeah, I think it's more than becoming "like" each other, I truly feel that people who were "meant to be" become each other, its so much better and easier being one, no need for individuality when two are one, as cheesey as it sounds I think the Borg got it right! The only bad part (if you can call it that) is when one leaves (dies) the other one usually follows, but hey, who want to live without themselves.
    Last edited by Siu Blue Wind; 08-15-09 at 09:58 AM. Reason: edited my quote
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

  7. #7
    Senior Member travelmama's Avatar
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    No. If people have things in common from the first jump things and ideals will mesh easily. Some in relationships become weak and allow for anything to transpire and this is not good. I have been in a relationship where we saw eye to eye on most things from the start but there were so many things that we did not see eye to eye on yet that did not put any strain between us. I am a strong individual with a strong persona and will never settle for someone who is less as I need a person in my life who is like me.
    Two Wheels One Love

  8. #8
    Domestic Domestique UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
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    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WA7hI517FZc"][/ame]

  9. #9
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
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    My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
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    Quote Originally Posted by travelmama View Post
    No. If people have things in common from the first jump things and ideals will mesh easily. Some in relationships become weak and allow for anything to transpire and this is not good. I have been in a relationship where we saw eye to eye on most things from the start but there were so many things that we did not see eye to eye on yet that did not put any strain between us. I am a strong individual with a strong persona and will never settle for someone who is less as I need a person in my life who is like me.
    There are a lot of things mentioned above that I find so wrong, but they're your opinion of who you are and what you need so I will not talk about it, but I will say that my wife and I had nothing! zero! zip! natha! in common when we met, and we still don't! we hate each others taste in music, clothes, vehicles, friends, home decor, the list can go on forever! the only thing we had/have in common was an interest in each other, and I'll be damned eternally by every god that humans believe in if we don't have one of the, if not the best relationships ever!
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

  10. #10
    King of the Plukers Spreggy's Avatar
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    Our menstrual cycles have synchronized.
    “Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”
    ― Muhammad Ali

  11. #11
    Ogr8nwmypstmksnosnse pgoat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spreggy View Post
    Our menstrual cycles have synchronized.
    That just sounds like an great relationship, period.
    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    People whose sig line does not include a jsharr quote annoy me.

  12. #12
    Go Buckeyes! MissKristen's Avatar
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    Oh, for sure. We've assumed some of each other's quirks, phrases, words, reactions, etc. We're definitely two different people and both stubborn as sin, but we've absolutely started to rub off on each other. Now that we're officially living together (and buying a house this week!) I'm sure it'll get even worse. Both of us are constantly evolving though. We have tons going on in our own lives so luckily we won't become identical robots any time soon.
    No matter what happens now
    You shouldn't be afraid
    Because I know today has been the most perfect day I've ever seen.

    - Videotape

    R A D I O H E A D

  13. #13
    Pwnerer Wordbiker's Avatar
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    Eventually you will dress in matching line dancing outfits.
    Quote Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
    Ski, bike and wish I was gay.

  14. #14
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    I see a few couples that do 'morph' but when it becomes almost obsessive, it's...... Sometimes I wonder which person I'm dealing with.

    I mean, it's not really a bad thing to mesh with your SO but when one person seems to throw away everything they are and idolizes their SO so much to actually 'become' them, it's rather creepy.

    I'm all for having things in common, being able to think on the same level and communicating without saying a single word but when it's to the point of taking on the other person's PERSONALITY it doesn't seem too healthy to me. No individuality or perception of self.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  15. #15
    Administrator CbadRider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
    I see a few couples that do 'morph' but when it becomes almost obsessive, it's...... Sometimes I wonder which person I'm dealing with.

    I mean, it's not really a bad thing to mesh with your SO but when one person seems to throw away everything they are and idolizes their SO so much to actually 'become' them, it's rather creepy.

    I'm all for having things in common, being able to think on the same level and communicating without saying a single word but when it's to the point of taking on the other person's PERSONALITY it doesn't seem too healthy to me. No individuality or perception of self.
    I have seen this behavior more in people who have just started dating, rather than long-term couples. One person seems to become more obsessed with the other. The relationships I have seen like that have never lasted very long.

    I think you tend to pick up some traits from your SO. You develop similar ways of dealing with things and meshing your personalities together. To me it's more like forming a union with another person rather than taking on their personality.
    Quote Originally Posted by toddles View Post
    So Tom only hires people that are nutty? Is part of the requirement to be a moderator on this site is that you have to be nuts??
    Forum Guidelines *click here*

  16. #16
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
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    My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
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    Love is love, if you go into it expecting certain things from your SO you'll always lose, if people would stop looking for Mr./Mrs. right nature can take over and do it the way it supposed to be done, ever notice how all the happy little old couples seem to know exactly what each other wants and needs before the other does? Thats love. has nothing to do with individuality, personal persona or ideas of self, if one wants that well that person should stay single, it's not called a "union" just for the hell of it.
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

  17. #17
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    Some loose themselves in a relationship and become more of a we instead of a me. I did and it did not work out so well (for that and many other reasons). Now I am me and loving it.
    However, for the right woman I would gladly compromise a bit here and there. Not too much. I still intend to keep me as me.

  18. #18
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Oh I totally agree with you on this, ILB! It has to be natural for it to be real, not something that you should have to force or become.

    What I'm talking about is when people become so enthralled nothing else around them exists. I mean things like difficult work situations that go unnoticed, if a family member is going through things and crying out for help.....less expectations from THEM SELF because they are so blinded and pre occupied with the other person.

    What I've seen is that the person being emulated acknowledges this and begins to take it on that he/she is being put on a pedestal and is cherished. Either they take that as "wow, this is NOT cool" or "hey, I this person is crazy over me". Each end of that spectrum can have disastrous results. Summation of that is either abandonment or a testing of control.

    Quote Originally Posted by DataJunkie View Post
    Some loose themselves in a relationship and become more of a we instead of a me. I did and it did not work out so well (for that and many other reasons). Now I am me and loving it.
    However, for the right woman I would gladly compromise a bit here and there. Not too much. I still intend to keep me as me.
    This is what I am talking about. When you lose yourself so much, there is no longer a 'you'.
    Last edited by Siu Blue Wind; 08-15-09 at 05:28 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  19. #19
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
    Oh I totally agree with you on this, ILB! It has to be natural for it to be real, not something that you should have to force or become.

    What I'm talking about is when people become so enthralled nothing else around them exists. I mean things like difficult work situations that go unnoticed, if a family member is going through things and crying out for help.....less expectations from THEM SELF because they are so blinded and pre occupied with the other person.

    What I've seen is that the person being emulated acknowledges this and begins to take it on that he/she is being put on a pedestal and is cherished. Either they take that as "wow, this is NOT cool" or "hey, I this person is crazy over me". Each end of that spectrum can have disastrous results. Summation of that is either abandonment or a testing of control.



    This is what I am talking about. When you lose yourself so much, there is no longer a 'you'.
    Oh no, thats not normal at all! That some psycho **** right there!
    Last edited by Siu Blue Wind; 08-15-09 at 05:28 PM. Reason: fixed my quote
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

  20. #20
    Senior Member bluegoatwoods's Avatar
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    My wife and I are much like oil and water. We butt heads a lot and I don't think we've become very much like each other at all. We're now past the 18 yr mark, so I doubt if we'll make much more progress in that direction.

    This has it's difficulties, you can believe that. It also means that we don't communicate as well as I'd have wished. But it's not all bad, either. We manage to stay pretty happy together by each doing as we see fit and forgiving the other their opposition. (It does seem to me, though, that her forgiveness is usually angrier than mine.) I certainly don't regret my marriage. And though she will, pretty often, threaten it I'm pretty sure that this is nothing but a rather childish tactic. I'm pretty sure that she doesn't regret it either.

    I'm willing to believe that there are couples out there who have managed to achieve a true
    "spiritual communion". I suspect, though, that the genuine article is pretty rare. A lot of couples say or imply that they have achieved this. But I think that's more like wishful thinking. Reading between the lines I see a lot of marriages that look quite a bit like mine. But that's not a terrible thing; life gives us both great joy and terrible headaches. Being attached to another human being by such a short tether is bound to be similar. The art is to seek and nurture the joy and avoid and discourage the headaches. It gives us something to do, at least.

  21. #21
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
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    My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
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    Quote Originally Posted by DataJunkie View Post
    Some loose themselves in a relationship and become more of a we instead of a me. I did and it did not work out so well (for that and many other reasons). Now I am me and loving it.
    However, for the right woman I would gladly compromise a bit here and there. Not too much. I still intend to keep me as me.
    Thats a very bad word when it comes to relationships, no compromises, either its done or its not, thats the way it works for us. As sad as it is just being human makes us take the definition in red as the true definiton, a large majority of humans are just built that way.

    Compromise
    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Jump to: navigation, search
    For the American township, see Compromise Township, Champaign County, Illinois.
    In arguments, compromise is a concept of finding agreement through communication, through a mutual acceptance of terms—often involving variations from an original goal or desire. Extremism is often considered as antonym to compromise, which, depending on context, may be associated with concepts of balance, tolerance. In the negative connotation, compromise may be referred to as capitulation, referring to a "surrender" of objectives, principles, or materiale, in the process of negotiating an agreement. In human relationships "compromise" is often said to be an agreement that no party is happy with.
    Last edited by ilikebikes; 08-15-09 at 05:23 PM.
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

  22. #22
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    Uh huh.

  23. #23
    Super Moderator no1mad's Avatar
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    From the thread title "...we are one" I thought this might be about the Borg. I fear that I am wrong (again).
    Quote Originally Posted by Cyril View Post
    Ride what and in what manner pleases you. Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind. srsly.
    Community guidelines

  24. #24
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
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    My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
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    Quote Originally Posted by ilikebikes View Post
    "Always and forever
    Each moment with you
    Is just like a dream to me
    That somehow came true

    And I know tomorrow
    Will still be the same
    Cause we've got a life of love
    That won't ever change and..

    Every day
    Love me your own special way
    Melt all my heart away
    With a smile

    Take time to tell me
    You really care
    And we'll share tomorrow together
    I'll always love you Forever

    There'll always be sunshine
    When I look at you
    It's something I can't explain
    Just the things that you do

    And if you get lonely
    Phone me and take
    A second to give to me
    That magic you make and..
    Every day
    Love me your own special way
    Melt all my heart away
    With a smile

    Take time to tell me
    You really care
    And we'll share tomorrow together
    I'll always love you Forever"

    Yup, as you know me and my SO have been together for 27 years now, and as Siu knows not all good (I'd say 90% great!) although most will not believe it we are almost like twins! we think alike, finish each others sentances, we often (so often it gets spooky sometimes!) pick up the phone to call each other just to find each other on the line! and this happens before the phone rings! So yeah, I think it's more than becoming "like" each other, I truly feel that people who were "meant to be" become each other, its so much better and easier being one, no need for individuality when two are one, as cheesey as it sounds I think the Borg got it right! The only bad part (if you can call it that) is when one leaves (dies) the other one usually follows, but hey, who want to live without themselves.

    no1mad, thats what I said!^^^^
    Last edited by ilikebikes; 08-15-09 at 07:36 PM.
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

  25. #25
    Crushing souls Hickeydog's Avatar
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    what SO?
    Quote Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post

    What's frightening is how coherent Hickey was in posting that.

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