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Old 08-12-13, 08:35 PM   #26776
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Cleaning the Sand Moulies out of the glove box, priceless....
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Old 08-12-13, 08:37 PM   #26777
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Eating free dingleberries off the bush, priceless!
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Old 08-12-13, 08:43 PM   #26778
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Wiping his arse with Poison Ivy for years has given him an advantage over the other boys at the glory hole...
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Old 08-13-13, 06:01 AM   #26779
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He is still using toilet paper bought for the whole Y2K debacle.
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Old 08-13-13, 06:24 AM   #26780
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His TP Recyclery biz is going great though cutting, pasting, and rolling the good pieces is a bit time consuming.
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Old 08-13-13, 07:15 AM   #26781
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He got the city supply contract, so it's worth the time.
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Old 08-13-13, 07:32 AM   #26782
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Holds the record for sucking a golf ball through a garden hose at 49.5 feet...
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Old 08-13-13, 08:19 AM   #26783
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The only record he's ever held was a 45 of The Monkees with I'm a Believer on the A side and The Last Train to Clarksville on the flip.
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Old 08-13-13, 08:21 AM   #26784
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Is now wearing his hair in a mop-top as a Monkee homage.
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Old 08-13-13, 08:25 AM   #26785
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Is now wearing his toupee in a mop-top as a Monkee homage.
ftfy
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Old 08-13-13, 08:48 AM   #26786
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Thinks no one can read his secret code messages....
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Old 08-13-13, 08:52 AM   #26787
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Is paying for twerking lessons.
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Old 08-13-13, 09:30 AM   #26788
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Is the teacher.
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Old 08-13-13, 09:35 AM   #26789
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Just broke the record for sucking a golf ball through a garden hose by 4 inches....
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Old 08-13-13, 10:11 AM   #26790
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Has golf balls and a short shaft putter.
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Old 08-13-13, 10:31 AM   #26791
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http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/...ip?ft=1&f=1001

In order to make his local lakes safe for testicles, has listed a Kickstarter campaign for the Great Pacu Hunt of 2013.
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Old 08-13-13, 11:29 AM   #26792
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Was never in may pants last night, I don't think...
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Old 08-13-13, 12:21 PM   #26793
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His nickname is "the ball cutter".
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Old 08-13-13, 01:17 PM   #26794
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Did not read the NPR link and think "Ow! My balls!".
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Old 08-13-13, 02:02 PM   #26795
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Fisting himself is a closet pastime that no one knows about...
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Old 08-13-13, 02:10 PM   #26796
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knows about it.
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Old 08-13-13, 03:13 PM   #26797
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Participates in it.
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Old 08-13-13, 03:44 PM   #26798
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Invented it.
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Old 08-13-13, 04:28 PM   #26799
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he found the one-liners so hilarious, he hoped they would go on forever, or several pages anyway. he ran to the fridge, pulled out a pint of choco-chunk and a tall can of mr whippet and ran back to his dark den, lit only by the screen. he sprayed the can in the pint and began to devour the mixture like a ravenous dog, all the while, peering into the bright screen. refresh! refresh! but nothing came. discouraged, he placed the long, jagged lips over the can, and, while carefully keeping the can upright, he pressed the nozzle and inhaled the cool mixture into his lungs. there, he held the gas hostage until his face turned blue and the required effect found. drums were pounding, a thousand thoughts filled the little gulliver, and he felt an immediate need to call old school chums he long ago left behind. and as quickly as it came, it all passed. he turned back to the bright sreen. and he waited. and he waited...
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Old 08-13-13, 05:08 PM   #26800
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Has surgeon's hands.
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