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Old 12-14-13, 07:05 PM   #29301
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Conceived on the front hood, lives in the trunk, and vacations in the back seat of his grandmother's caddy.
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Old 12-14-13, 07:29 PM   #29302
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His favorite part of being a caddy is washing balls and getting big tips for working all 18 holes.
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...ixnay on the exsay alktay.
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Old 12-14-13, 08:06 PM   #29303
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Has published articles in the medical literature regarding his discovery of heretofore unknown holes.
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Old 12-14-13, 08:29 PM   #29304
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...thinks he's holier than thou.
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Old 12-14-13, 09:42 PM   #29305
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Is holier than you could even imagine unless a nun is involved then he puckers like a mother

superior
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...ixnay on the exsay alktay.
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Old 12-14-13, 10:34 PM   #29306
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...it's quite obvious he's superior in all respects. Also, he's a real mother.
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Old 12-15-13, 03:15 AM   #29307
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as a public translator for the deaf in south africa, he applies the now trendy 'meaningless approach' by regurgitating what's just been said, and then applying his pure nonsense.

he may later claim schizophrenia, but only if you bring it up first.
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Old 12-15-13, 11:23 AM   #29308
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His vicissitudes are only outweighed by his brilliance...
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Old 12-15-13, 12:02 PM   #29309
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His fleas are only outweighed by his ticks.
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...ixnay on the exsay alktay.
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Old 12-15-13, 01:03 PM   #29310
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He removes his ticks with lampreys.
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Old 12-15-13, 02:25 PM   #29311
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.....takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
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Old 12-15-13, 02:34 PM   #29312
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decades of absorbing commercial television has not left the autistic elderly altogether speechless.
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Old 12-15-13, 02:37 PM   #29313
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Depends on DependsŪ.
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...ixnay on the exsay alktay.
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Old 12-15-13, 03:50 PM   #29314
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His night job as a sanitation engineer made him a Dependsable expert though he knows he's a diaper load short of a full hamper.
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Old 12-15-13, 05:25 PM   #29315
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Hampered by his honesty, his lies are as thick as a spider's web in mid fight...
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Old 12-15-13, 07:55 PM   #29316
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Hampered by his honesty, his lies are as thick as a spider's web in mid fight...
...unhampered by Pampers, his flies are thick in mid flight.
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Old 12-15-13, 08:17 PM   #29317
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Periodically goes through a Venus Flytrap phase in which he remains motionless and waits for insects to land in his open mouth.
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Old 12-15-13, 08:41 PM   #29318
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...he's very fond of airline in flight meals. He's been trying to get the tribe to contract with the same caterers.
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Old 12-15-13, 09:12 PM   #29319
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Much like the famous Jared who lost all that weight eating Subway sandwiches, he is trying to do the same thing with the United Airlines 'snak pak'.
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Old 12-15-13, 09:31 PM   #29320
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was the inspiration for the 'Strangers with Candy' character, Guy Blank, always shown in a motionless state, open mouthed, mid-action.


...he's recently discovered that electric carving knives, which he finds and buys in thrift stores all around town, are good for a multitude of household chores.
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Old 12-16-13, 11:47 AM   #29321
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Based upon her new-found good mood and sighs of satisfaction, is now suspicious of his wife disappearing into the bathroom for 15 minutes at a time to 'brush her teeth' with the new electric Oral-B toothbrush.
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Old 12-16-13, 12:01 PM   #29322
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he can only guess what a sigh of satisfaction sounds like
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Old 12-16-13, 01:05 PM   #29323
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Thinks that 'Sigh of Satisfaction' would be an excellent theme for a Victoria's Secret runway show.
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Old 12-16-13, 01:21 PM   #29324
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..."much sighing, little satisfaction" is his native American tribal name among the Snohomish.
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Old 12-16-13, 01:22 PM   #29325
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Makes the Victoria's Secret Runway a series of secretions hazard...
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