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Old 04-05-12, 09:26 PM   #15451
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Tried to smoke and BBQ one of those fancy habaņeros and made a mess.
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Old 04-05-12, 09:44 PM   #15452
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Already used up his allotment of gubmint-subsidized lies for April.
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Old 04-06-12, 06:24 AM   #15453
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Will be starting his new job soon as the sub-assistant deputy department manager for the Upper Mid-West Regional Office of the Department of Slander, Lies and Distortions.
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Old 04-06-12, 06:25 AM   #15454
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Buys his lies at Fry's.
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Ski, bike and wish I was gay.
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Old 04-06-12, 09:38 AM   #15455
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Prefers to buy his lies at Best Buy.
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Old 04-06-12, 09:59 AM   #15456
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Shoplifted his lies from the flea market.
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Old 04-06-12, 11:39 AM   #15457
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Imports his slanders from Flanders.
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Old 04-06-12, 04:30 PM   #15458
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Purchases his prevarications at Penney's.
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Ski, bike and wish I was gay.
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Old 04-06-12, 08:32 PM   #15459
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Son of gun couldn't tell a good lie if his mama's credit score was on the line.

Know what I mean?
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Old 04-08-12, 01:21 PM   #15460
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Hangs out at Target hoping to spot the bulldog mascot.
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Old 04-08-12, 07:37 PM   #15461
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Hangs out at McDonald's hoping to exact a painful, flame-filled revenge on Grimace.
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Old 04-09-12, 06:01 AM   #15462
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Hangs out in port-side bars hoping to meet lonely sailors.
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Old 04-09-12, 06:53 AM   #15463
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Hangs out in starboard-side bars hoping to meet lonely wealthy women.
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Old 04-09-12, 01:43 PM   #15464
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Hangs out on the poop deck offering prunes to the constipated.
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Old 04-09-12, 02:22 PM   #15465
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Is especially proud of his job as Chief Swabbie of the poop deck.
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Old 04-09-12, 02:37 PM   #15466
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Is too pooped to pop.
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Old 04-10-12, 09:08 AM   #15467
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Seeks counselling about his regular dreams involving him having "romantic time" with Orville Redenbacher.
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Old 04-10-12, 09:22 AM   #15468
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Orville Redenbacher got a restraining order against him after his belligerent presentation of a new popcorn flavor idea: Cherry Poppers.
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Old 04-10-12, 09:33 AM   #15469
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His last lie was so big that it caused the BF db errors.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 04-10-12, 12:00 PM   #15470
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These are supposed to be lies, jsharr. You know... like how you were the inspiration for the Incredible Hulk.
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Old 04-10-12, 12:27 PM   #15471
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Was the inspiration for Lou Ferrigno
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 04-10-12, 01:12 PM   #15472
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Was the inspiration for Lou Malnati's famous deep dish pizza because he wanted one that was "fat and cheesy like that guy!"
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Old 04-10-12, 02:01 PM   #15473
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Liberace took fashion cues from him.
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Old 04-10-12, 03:53 PM   #15474
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Took Liberace's cue.
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Old 04-11-12, 06:09 AM   #15475
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Teaches Country Gibberish 101 at the community college, teeth optional.
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