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Old 09-09-09, 07:53 PM   #1
C-Note
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Reaching out.

I'm not sure how many of you have had any encounter with my postings on this board but regardless i've read a lot and learned a lot here since i've taken up cycling, It seems to me to be a place where many different people from all walks come together for their love of bikes. There are many here with great wisdom and way with words whose wisdom and experience I seek right now.

On Monday evening my younger brother while on his way home from his girlfriend's house lost control of his motorcycle and later that evening after being flown to the hospital died from his injuries.

I'm coping fairly well but know that the worst is yet to come, I guess I'm just posting this in hopes that others who have dealt with similar things in their life may share with me their strength and experience. I know I have to deal with this in my own way but somehow I feel comfort in posting here as it has become a place that I trust for its knowledge and experience.

Thank you
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Old 09-09-09, 07:57 PM   #2
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I have not experienced the tragedy of losing a sibling but you are in my thoughts.
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Old 09-09-09, 07:58 PM   #3
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I don't have much wisdom to share but you have my sincerest condolences, and for your family also. I hope you find the strength to deal with this so that it need not get worse for you.
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Old 09-09-09, 08:24 PM   #4
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You can find the strength to make it through this tragedy. You and your family will come together and become stronger over time. Just keep your head up, and the darkest time will pass.

I'm very sorry for your loss.
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Old 09-09-09, 08:28 PM   #5
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Your brother was full of good spirits, having just spent quality time with his lady; he was also doing something he obviously loved -- motorcycling.

Filled with good spirit, pursuing and experiencing a passion...if you can't go in your sleep at an extreme old age, this would be a close second.

Celebrate his life, as he was doing to the end. Know that he is at rest, and can hurt no more. Yes, you hurt, and will for a while, nothing can help that; but remember him with a smile -- you owe him that, his life deserves that much.
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Old 09-09-09, 08:34 PM   #6
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I'm near Athens, just outside of Monroe.

My father was in a god awful accident last March when it snowed. He survived but was injured quite badly.

It's tough, but you live on and learn to endure.
I'm sorry for your loss. The pain will slowly lessen over time.
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Old 09-09-09, 09:24 PM   #7
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I'm sorry for your loss. I know there really is nothing I can say that will make the pain ease any faster. I will say a prayer for your family.
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Old 09-09-09, 11:11 PM   #8
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Very sorry to hear of your loss. You do right to reach out. make sure to do so within your family and help community. There is no shame in getting support during this difficult time.

All the best.
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Old 09-09-09, 11:20 PM   #9
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I'll keep you in my prayers. I haven't lost someone really close in such a rapid and untimely fashion, but I know the hole that losing a loved one can leave. If you have faith, that can serve to provide a different and comforting perspective. If not, DX-MAN has provided a healthy philosophical perspective for you. No matter, it won't be an easy thing, but time truly does have a way of healing this sort of pain.
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Old 09-10-09, 12:07 AM   #10
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Nothing I can say will lessen the pain you feel over the loss of your brother. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
The pain you feel will never really lessen and go away. You will get used to it and it will become a part of you and in that way you will begin to deal with and live with it.
It is important that you share your thoughts with family and friends. As stated above, celebrate his life. Talk of him and to him.
When my dad passed away I was oh-so afraid of the great pain I knew was welling up inside me that I boxed up and shunned all his personal possessions. I didn't want to think or think of him 'cause I was afraid of the pain. Upon the advice of my priest and others, I went through his things a year later and felt like he was there with me again. Now my brother, sister and I talk of him often and it is like a soothing balm. We laugh at things he did and cry sometimes too but he will always be apart of us. It's been 20 years now and he will always be a part of us.
Ernest
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Old 09-10-09, 12:23 AM   #11
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I lost a sister about 2 years ago to an untimely death. My dealing with it has been a roller coaster of emotions. What I have found to be most beneficial is the fond memories that I have of her. The celebration of her life, as it were.

My sincerest condolences and sympathies as I can relate to your pain of losing a sibling. Nothing about this is going to be easy, but in time your methods of coping with it will solidify.
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Old 09-10-09, 12:37 AM   #12
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I thank you for your transparency and offer my condolences for your loss.
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Old 09-10-09, 04:28 AM   #13
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I've lost many people that were close to me and what kept me going is them. Knowing that they spent time with me reminded me of how special I was to them and that they chose ME to spend it with. Remembering the fun things that we went through, the growth and learning, how we were there for each other, how we actually were a part of each other's life. How fortunate I was to be able to give to them my self, my time, and to be the recipient of theirs as well. Things that we shared, just me and them and nobody else. To know that no matter what, death will never take all of that away, especially my love for them.

Hang tight. Don't be afraid to cry. Express your love for him. But please remember that each day makes you grow a tad stronger. And his memory will be there to reinforce that.
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Old 09-10-09, 04:36 AM   #14
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I've lost many people that were close to me and what kept me going is them. Knowing that they spent time with me reminded me of how special I was to them and that they chose ME to spend it with. Remembering the fun things that we went through, the growth and learning, how we were there for each other, how we actually were a part of each other's life. How fortunate I was to be able to give to them my self, my time, and to be the recipient of theirs as well. Things that we shared, just me and them and nobody else. To know that no matter what, death will never take all of that away, especially my love for them.

Hang tight. Don't be afraid to cry. Express your love for him. But please remember that each day makes you grow a tad stronger. And his memory will be there to reinforce that.
THIS....

I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't say it any better than Siu...
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Old 09-10-09, 08:03 AM   #15
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Take the time now, to think of all the really special times you and your brother shared. Write those stories down in a journal. As you think of new ones, add them. Write about how you feel, etc.

If journaling is not something you do well, find another outlet for your feelings. Do not hold them in. Look into grief counseling.

Keep a heart of flesh, not a heart of stone and be strong knowing that all things in this life happen for a reason, though many times that reason is hard to comprehend and may not fit well into our view of how this world should be.
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Old 09-10-09, 08:05 AM   #16
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Very very sorry for your loss.
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Old 09-10-09, 08:09 AM   #17
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I wish there was something I cold say to heal the pain. I am so very sorry
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Old 09-10-09, 08:26 AM   #18
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You can never hear words that "make it better"....not much you can do but hold on tight and wait for the ride to end. Sometimes you aren't sure when it ends (at least it was that way when my mom died).

Good luck in the healing process. My deepest condolences for you and your family.



P.S. I hope you brother kicked death in the balls before being taken.
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Old 09-10-09, 10:12 AM   #19
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thanks to everyone who posted so far.. I'm still dealing pretty well and am moved by the kind words and stories of others losses, it helps me to know that i'm not alone in the pain i'm experiencing,.

I have a great network of friends old and new, mine, his, ours, and they are all propping myself and my family up right now. We are strong and our friends are even stronger. I'll get through this.

Now i'm gonna go ride my bike.
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Old 09-10-09, 12:36 PM   #20
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So sorry to hear of your loss. ((hugs))
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