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Old 09-16-09, 05:29 AM   #1
pgoat
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Kindness is always best....

....until some low life takes advantage of your kindness.

at what point do you forsake kindness in the interest of self-preservation?

discuss
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Old 09-16-09, 05:34 AM   #2
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ahhhhhh, poor pgoat. what happened?

i'm genuinely concerned and not really looking for schadenfreude.
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Old 09-16-09, 06:04 AM   #3
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Mate with a klingon and you'll have new value with the word 'kindness'
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Old 09-16-09, 06:09 AM   #4
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really depends on the situation and my goals at the moment. If its someone who I still think I can help, I'll go an extra mile or 2. If its someone who I think is beyond help, I write them off the second they stab me in the back.
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Old 09-16-09, 07:25 AM   #5
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If you love selflessly and expect nothing in return, it is harder to get hurt. Sorry that your kindness was not returned in kind, but rise above your hurt and keep a giving spirit.

You already know everything I just said, but sometimes a reminder helps.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-16-09, 12:37 PM   #6
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....until some low life takes advantage of your kindness.

at what point do you forsake kindness in the interest of self-preservation?

discuss
It took me a long time, and after helping out many many friends and family members we noticed that all....ALL! were a bunch of asswipes that didn't deserve what was done for them. I personally, am done with "helping others," I mean hell, if I see someone in a burning vehicle I'm jumping in and will try my best to get them out, but I will never "help" those that screwed me ever ever again. I have, at this very moment, a niece thats stuck in a certain part of the country, has no more cash, will soon be homeless, and "doesn't know what to do." Guess what, she screwed me and my family multiple times....she's on her own!
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You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

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Old 09-16-09, 01:54 PM   #7
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It took me a long time, and after helping out many many friends and family members we noticed that all....ALL! were a bunch of asswipes that didn't deserve what was done for them. I personally, am done with "helping others," I mean hell, if I see someone in a burning vehicle I'm jumping in and will try my best to get them out, but I will never "help" those that screwed me ever ever again. I have, at this very moment, a niece thats stuck in a certain part of the country, has no more cash, will soon be homeless, and "doesn't know what to do." Guess what, she screwed me and my family multiple times....she's on her own!
actually, this is the type of thing I am talking about.

not a personal issue, though those are certainly painful sometimes....you can't help wanting to help the ones you love.

I'm talking about people who are complete strangers, and who take advantage of the average person's compassion and sympathy.
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Old 09-16-09, 01:56 PM   #8
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Offer to help in ways that you do not feel you can be taken adavantage of. Know the location of soup kitchens, shelters, etc. Refer people to help instead of trying to do it directly.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-16-09, 02:21 PM   #9
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Man I can relate to this. I'd give the shirt off my back to just about anyone and it always makes the knife easier to get into the skin of my back. That being said, kind acts don't go unnoticed in the grand scheme of things.
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Old 09-16-09, 02:35 PM   #10
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I'm kind to everyone until they screw me. Then, it's fists of fury...
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Old 09-16-09, 03:10 PM   #11
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Quote:
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Offer to help in ways that you do not feel you can be taken adavantage of. Know the location of soup kitchens, shelters, etc. Refer people to help instead of trying to do it directly.
+1 What he said^
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Old 09-16-09, 03:39 PM   #12
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Man, I was done with people doing me wrong along time ago. The result is that I'm a mean and distrustful person. I realize that's wrong but that's how I am now.
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Old 09-17-09, 10:27 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
If you love selflessly and expect nothing in return, it is harder to get hurt. Sorry that your kindness was not returned in kind, but rise above your hurt and keep a giving spirit.

You already know everything I just said, but sometimes a reminder helps.
actually this is the best answer, regardless of how you slice it. And we all need a reminder like that sometimes. Thanks for your wisdom, J.
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Old 09-17-09, 10:32 AM   #14
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You are welcome my brother. You have helped me more than you know with some of the things you have shared with foo. I sir, thank you.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-17-09, 11:08 AM   #15
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You are welcome my brother. You have helped me more than you know with some of the things you have shared with foo. I sir, thank you.
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Old 09-17-09, 11:32 AM   #16
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I had a big discussion about this in (of all places) a Bible study class yesterday. Virtually everyone else in the class said that because there are government agencies and NGOs/charities to help the poor, they are pretty much relieved of responsibility to help individuals they meet who need help. (Starting from Isaiah's exhortations to help widows and orphans.)

I rarely give money, but if I meet someone and can help them get what they need (some food, an auto part, something like that), I at least make the effort. Sometimes this means giving low-life looking perfect strangers a ride somewhere (not that I do this often, but sometimes). The guys in the class thought I was nuts for doing this, even rarely. You can't trust people, they said. I agreed, but I said I try my best to trust God. I don't have a death wish or anything, but sometimes I think the best way to go is when attempting to help a fellow human being.

By the way, I've found that in the majority of cases, when someone asks for money, and I ask why they need the money, if they say "food" or something like that, if I offer to take them into a restaurant and buy them lunch, they usually turn me down. At that point, I tell them that I just can't help them with what they want.
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