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Old 09-16-09, 02:37 PM   #1
couch_incident
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Craigslist

Foo,

Since only a few of you have PMed me all your money for the COC, I've taken it upon myself to generate real money for the Church. However, I still need your help.

I've decided to sell myself for one date on Craigslist and I'm having a hard time describing what I'm like. I need all of your help with this one folks, please give a brief description of what you think of Couchy. I will collect all the descriptions Friday night and post them on Criagslist. The highest female bidder will recieve one date with the Supreme Rulla.

Thanks and God bless,

Couch
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Old 09-16-09, 02:39 PM   #2
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I fixed your title for you. PM me a box of Jeffersons
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-16-09, 02:40 PM   #3
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Dear Lord, I misspelled Craigslist. Stupid idiot.

Couch
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Old 09-16-09, 02:40 PM   #4
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I fixed your title for you. PM me a box of Jeffersons
Thanks Dude.

Couch
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Old 09-16-09, 02:41 PM   #5
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Foo,

Since only a few of you have PMed me all your money for the COC, I've taken it upon myself to generate real money for the Church. However, I still need your help.

I've decided to sell myself for one date on Craigslist and I'm having a hard time describing what I'm like. I need all of your help with this one folks, please give a brief description of what you think of Couchy. I will collect all the descriptions Friday night and post them on Criagslist. The highest female bidder will recieve one date with the Supreme Rulla.

Thanks and God bless,

Couch
You spelled it wrong more than once, you dolt. And I am to send you money for what reason?
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-16-09, 02:42 PM   #6
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She will have to be very high in order to even consider a low ball bid. Just saying.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-16-09, 02:43 PM   #7
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You spelled it wrong more than once, you dolt. And I am to send you money for what reason?

I will put that in as a description of me. Thanks for halping.

Couch
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Old 09-16-09, 02:44 PM   #8
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She will have to be very high in order to even consider a low ball bid. Just saying.
I will put that in as a description of me. Thanks for halping.

Couch
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Old 09-16-09, 02:45 PM   #9
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I have always admired Couch, ever since that time I watched him lick his own eyebrows.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-16-09, 02:45 PM   #10
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Seriously folks, Jsharr is the Church's editor. I depend on him heavily.

Supreme Rulla!
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Old 09-16-09, 03:04 PM   #11
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I really do not think that I should respond to this ad. I might be the CraigsList killer, and I really do not want to commit regicide.
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Old 09-16-09, 03:07 PM   #12
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I really do not think that I should respond to this ad. I might be the CraigsList killer, and I really do not want to commit regicide.
Now how is this going to make the COC money RUOkie? Think about the money man.

Couch
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Old 09-16-09, 03:08 PM   #13
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Now how is this going to make the COC money RUOkie? Think about the money man.

Couch
What kind of key man insurance do you have. Whole life, or what? Am I the benificiary?
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Old 09-16-09, 03:18 PM   #14
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What kind of key man insurance do you have. Whole life, or what? Am I the benificiary?
I sell religion by the dollar. Now say something nice about me so I can make a million dollars!

Supreme Rulla
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Old 09-16-09, 03:20 PM   #15
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I think you look taller, or maybe just less fat, in person.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-16-09, 03:22 PM   #16
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I think you look taller, or maybe just less fat, in person.
It's ye olde sucking stomach trick you know.
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Old 09-16-09, 03:24 PM   #17
couch_incident
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I think you look taller, or maybe just less fat, in person.
I have no idea what you mean. Picking up the jsharr to ingrish dictionary.

Couch
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Old 09-16-09, 03:26 PM   #18
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This is a better read

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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-16-09, 03:30 PM   #19
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Win a date with Couch, he isn't angry, just misunderstood. He is always in the mood for a good Chesterfield, or sometimes a Baracalounger. But nothing floats his boat like a good Lane sectional. Don't mind the sunglasses (they help to protect the retina from the flames) or the hairless arms (he got a little too close.
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Old 09-16-09, 03:33 PM   #20
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Win a date with Couch, he isn't angry, just misunderstood. He is always in the mood for a good Chesterfield, or sometimes a Baracalounger. But nothing floats his boat like a good Lane sectional. Don't mind the sunglasses (they help to protect the retina from the flames) or the hairless arms (he got a little too close.
Now this is what I'm talking about! You are definately getting a cut of the money.

Couch
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Old 09-16-09, 03:36 PM   #21
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Now this is what I'm talking about! You are definately getting a cut of the money.

Couch
I'd better, I don't sell myself for anybody

yes I do

Last edited by RUOkie; 09-16-09 at 03:37 PM. Reason: dang censor
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Old 09-16-09, 03:36 PM   #22
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Hey couchie... you should put your old CB radio handle in the ad.
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Old 09-16-09, 03:39 PM   #23
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Do you have a valid driver's license and no social life. If so, you are the perfect candidate to win a date with The Supreme Rulla.

A dalliance with the sacramental wine and a local constable won Couch an ignition interlock and that basically left the poor guy on foot. Which in and of itself is not a bad thing, considering his penchant for jumping on furniture, his dates, farm animals and playground equipment.

If you like moon lit strolls down dark alleys, being serenaded by the sounds of alley cats in flagrante delicto while the soothing aroma of bad weed and stale urine gently assault your senses, then you will love The Couchster.

It would probably be a good idea to bring a can opener and a spoon if you want dinner and roll of quarters if you want to watch the whole movie.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-16-09, 03:39 PM   #24
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Hey couchie... you should put your old CB radio handle in the ad.
Wasn't I Marmoset?

Couch
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Old 09-16-09, 03:41 PM   #25
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Wasn't I Marmoset?

Couch
No... You were Rainbow Unicorn.
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