Advertise on Bikeforums.net



User Tag List

Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 103
  1. #1
    Portland Fred banerjek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    My Bikes
    Custom Winter, Challenge Seiran SL, Fuji Team Pro, Cattrike Road/Velokit, РOS hybrid
    Posts
    10,267
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Would this get you in trouble with your wife/hubby/SO?

    Without going into mind numbing detail, I am in a situation where it really makes logistical sense if a coworker spends the night in a spare room in our house, and I take her to her final destination tomorrow morning. There are other potential solutions, but they are either awkward and/or require some degree of sleep deprivation while leaving some large dogs unattended in the house longer than they should.

    Normally, this would be no problem at all, except my wife is out of town working on a project. I'm not stupid -- I made sure she knows exactly what's going on. In addition, she can keep track of me if I like. My phone broadcasts my location, we have a webcam that gives time/lapse so she would know what I was doing when. She's met my coworker and her husband.

    Just since I know someone will ask, yes, the woman is hot. And we are good friends. She is also is 16 years younger than me. My attitude is that I've been reliable and inclined to stay out of trouble for a long time. Even when I was in my 20's, young hotties were never drawn to me. I can't imagine that I've become more attractive to them now that what little hair hasn't fallen out is graying. Women are sometimes flirty with me, but I think it's because I'm harmless.

    While my wife has agreed to the arrangement, my spidey sense tells me she'd rather I opted for sleep deprivation and risked letting the canine mayhem reduce the house to rubble. I could do this. I could also make sure I don't start the evening with a loaded gun so to speak. But I also don't want to encourage misplaced concerns that will make both of us crazy. I figure what keeps me out of trouble is my attitude and not the circumstances on any particular day.

    Anyway, what's the consensus? Womens' opinions are especially interesting to me on this issue.

  2. #2
    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1,626
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Wife out of town = put co worker up in a nearby hotel room for the night.
    unless you just enjoy being grilled to death by a questioning wife when she gets home and the neighbor tells her what she saw.

  3. #3
    Portland Fred banerjek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    My Bikes
    Custom Winter, Challenge Seiran SL, Fuji Team Pro, Cattrike Road/Velokit, РOS hybrid
    Posts
    10,267
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by ModoVincere View Post
    Wife out of town = put co worker up in a nearby hotel room for the night.
    unless you just enjoy being grilled to death by a questioning wife when she gets home and the neighbor tells her what she saw.
    Neighbors have been informed already. Trying to be sneaky would be the ultimate in stupidity here. I could put the coworker up in a hotel -- the reason she wouldn't be putting herself up is that her credit card was stolen while she was returning from a trip across the country.

    I'm thinking that if such measures are really necessary, coworker logistics are not the real problem. Or am I just dense/naive?

  4. #4
    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1,626
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by banerjek View Post
    Neighbors have been informed already. Trying to be sneaky would be the ultimate in stupidity here. I could put the coworker up in a hotel -- the reason she wouldn't be putting herself up is that her credit card was stolen while she was returning from a trip across the country.

    I'm thinking that if such measures are really necessary, coworker logistics are not the real problem. Or am I just dense/naive?
    dunno. I do know, you aint married to Mrs. MV.

  5. #5
    Senior Member bikecrate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    LF, APMAT
    Posts
    659
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Iím voting itís a bad idea. Not necessarily that you or your coworker would cause any problems, but it leaves open the perception that something could or did happen. Not only do you have to deal with your wife, but what about your work environment? This could be the start of a bad rumor at the office that could mess up some reputations.

  6. #6
    There's time now icedmocha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    On a stack of books, PA
    Posts
    681
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    My wife wouldn't care. Trust. She goes to concerts with a male friend of IRS and they share a hotel room. If you trust each other, and it sounds like you have a Bond movies worth of spy gear, why not? Or don't you trust yourself?

  7. #7
    Senior Member Snicklefritz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    In the middle of horse country, in The Garden State
    Posts
    3,112
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by ModoVincere View Post
    Wife out of town = put co worker up in a nearby hotel room for the night.
    unless you just enjoy being grilled to death by a questioning wife when she gets home and the neighbor tells her what she saw.
    I agree. If you can put her up in a hotel, that is simpler and less cause for speculation. Your gut feel is there for a reason. As for taking her to her final destination, can a van service do that?

    I'm female and probably wouldn't want to accept this from a male coworker even if I knew that he was a good guy and had also told his wife everything so she knew, etc. I just wouldn't want any burden put on him where people might have a reason to speculate. You said that your neighbors had been informed, but what about other people you know who might happen to drive by as the woman is coming or going?
    If she were sensitive to your situation, she wouldn't accept staying in your house. She would take the hotel option and offer to pay you back later. The situation is vague enough that who knows what the other "awkward" options are, so I'm basing this on what things you have shared here.

  8. #8
    It is what it is Sage23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    The Shaw (SE WI)
    My Bikes
    Trek 1500 and Trek 950
    Posts
    575
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I'm going to vote bad idea. The fact that you're even asking should give you the answer!

    Save yourself the misery down the road: Pop for the hotel -- hope that you get paid back -- and if not, consider it cheap insurance for not having to deal with the wife, neighbors, co-workers always wondering if something happened.

    What does HER husband say?

  9. #9
    I ain't no newbie redirekib's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    The Goddard Institute - Area 51-Skunk Works Division - Space Age Materials Lab
    Posts
    1,184
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    You still won't get any sleep - you'll lay awake all night thinking about slipping into the other room.
    "Never send a monkey to do a man's job." ~ Captain Leo Davidson ~

  10. #10
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
    My Bikes
    '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
    Posts
    6,034
    Mentioned
    10 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)
    Let her stay at your house and you sleep out back in the dog house. It will be good practice.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Hayden06F4i's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Maine
    My Bikes
    2003 Gary Fisher Marlin
    Posts
    87
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    wow, interesting.......ill be looking forward to see how this one turns out.....

    i guess it comes down to how much you trust yourself, because it sounds like you and your wife trust each other alot, so how well do you think you can do is the real question?

  12. #12
    T-Shirt Guy ehidle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Lansdale, PA
    My Bikes
    2005 Fuji Team Issue, 2007 Fuji SL-1
    Posts
    464
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by ModoVincere View Post
    Wife out of town = put co worker up in a nearby hotel room for the night.
    unless you just enjoy being grilled to death by a questioning wife when she gets home and the neighbor tells her what she saw.
    THIS. There is no other option. Seriously. This is the best advice I have ever seen given on BF.

    ETA: You may trust each other 100%, but if, in the future, there are ever issues or problems, you having a female coworker sleep over while she was out of town will be the equivalent of a 500 megaton nuclear weapon.
    Yellow + Blue Jerseys!

    Get your Cranky T-Shirt!
    Men's
    and Women's designs available

  13. #13
    Senior Member bikecrate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    LF, APMAT
    Posts
    659
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Hummmm...what would CrackerJab do?

  14. #14
    WTF is that smell? crackerjab's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Charlotte, NC
    Posts
    449
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by bikecrate View Post
    Hummmm...what would CrackerJab do?
    I was just about to chime in and say she can stay at my place.
    Your turtle skirt is exposing your FUPA.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Snicklefritz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    In the middle of horse country, in The Garden State
    Posts
    3,112
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by ehidle View Post
    THIS. There is no other option. Seriously. This is the best advice I have ever seen given on BF.

    ETA: You may trust each other 100%, but if, in the future, there are ever issues or problems, you having a female coworker sleep over while she was out of town will be the equivalent of a 500 megaton nuclear weapon.

    Only 500 megatons??

    ETA: There are also things that could come up, like the coworker telling her friends stories like "yeah, can you believe it? My credit card was stolen! and while returning from a cross-country trip no less! But Banerjek was really cool and let me stay at his place on the way back".

    Now she probably isn't going to broadcast that at the office and she might not even want to. She may even realize it puts you in a awkward situation if she does. However, what if she mentions it to a close friend thinking it's just a harmless comment? The other person then knows and can do whatever he/she wants with that information. It's out of your control.

    It's not worth it.
    Last edited by Snicklefritz; 09-18-09 at 09:34 AM.

  16. #16
    gouch pad bones_mcbones's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Winnipeg
    My Bikes
    2008 Giant Bowery, 1212 Supercycle Winter fixie beater
    Posts
    483
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    sounds like you don't trust yourself... amiright?

    Stay sober, go to bed early and lock your bedroom door.

    Also, webcam & tracking cell phone? holy ***** I never want to get married.
    ****tinginbuckets.com

  17. #17
    WTF is that smell? crackerjab's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Charlotte, NC
    Posts
    449
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I personally don't see a problem here. Let her stay if you don't think there will be a problem. I let attractive female friends stay with me all the time and nothing goes on as they are just friends. And this is coming from me.
    Your turtle skirt is exposing your FUPA.

  18. #18
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
    My Bikes
    '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
    Posts
    6,034
    Mentioned
    10 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)
    cj = define nothing. Or should I look it up on urbandictionary?
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Snicklefritz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    In the middle of horse country, in The Garden State
    Posts
    3,112
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by bones_mcbones View Post
    sounds like you don't trust yourself... amiright?

    Stay sober, go to bed early and lock your bedroom door.

    Also, webcam & tracking cell phone? holy ***** I never want to get married.
    I guess bones_mcb, sees the dog house before the ring is ever a twinkle in his eye

  20. #20
    Grillparzer Grillparzer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Silver Spring, MD
    My Bikes
    Surly Cross Check
    Posts
    433
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I would be drawn, quartered, set on fire, and all my bicycles ran over by her Chevy Cavalier for even suggesting it.
    People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn't drive, there's something wrong with him.

  21. #21
    SeŮor Member USAZorro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Carlisle, PA
    My Bikes
    1954 Hetchins M.O., 1959 Viking Severn Valley, 1970 Raleigh Pro, 1972 Fuji "The Finest", 1974 Raleigh Superbe&Comp, 1976 Raleigh Team Pro, 1994 Trek 830 MTB, 2000 Bob Jackson Arrowhead, Unicycle
    Posts
    13,034
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by bikecrate View Post
    Hummmm...what would CrackerJab do?
    I wasn't the only person thinking that.
    The search for inner peace continues...

  22. #22
    gouch pad bones_mcbones's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Winnipeg
    My Bikes
    2008 Giant Bowery, 1212 Supercycle Winter fixie beater
    Posts
    483
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Snicklefritz View Post
    I guess bones_mcb, sees the dog house before the ring is ever a twinkle in his eye
    It's more about the lack of freedom. For example: Saturday the gf wants me to chill but i have plans to ride. Bones just wants to ride, why is that an issue? Pleasing 2 people is a lot harder than pleasing yourself.... that doesnt sound right

    But TS I think deep down you know whether or not this a bad idea. I'm guessing you're attacted to this lady, and whether or not you think something will happen you're putting yourself in a situation where something COULD happen. Dangerous game my friend.
    ****tinginbuckets.com

  23. #23
    Free @Velo Vol RUOkie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    In a Haggard Song
    My Bikes
    2009 ORBEA Onix Rival. 2012 Felt Breed, 1999 Raleigh 500
    Posts
    9,253
    Mentioned
    20 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)
    I agree with the consensus. Either the coworker is in a hotel, or you are in a hotel (probably for a week or so) It would be different if your wife was home. But it she stays at your home with you there, this WILL BE AMMUNTION for your next fight. And there is always a next fight.

    (I find it hard to believe that MV gave such good advice!!)
    Quote Originally Posted by Herbie53 View Post
    Being full of crap and depositing it here consistently is really nothing to be proud of.

  24. #24
    Portland Fred banerjek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    My Bikes
    Custom Winter, Challenge Seiran SL, Fuji Team Pro, Cattrike Road/Velokit, РOS hybrid
    Posts
    10,267
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by icedmocha View Post
    My wife wouldn't care. Trust. She goes to concerts with a male friend of IRS and they share a hotel room. If you trust each other, and it sounds like you have a Bond movies worth of spy gear, why not? Or don't you trust yourself?
    Spy gear is for other purposes. The phone locator is so my wife knows where I am when I'm riding -- I often go out for 5-8 hrs. Also so she knows when I'll be home from work. Cams are to watch the doggies.

    I'm trying to get my mind wrapped around why this is always a problem. Her project lasts a long time -- she's been gone a month already and we have two to go. When looking at housing possibilities, she rejected one of them because she'd basically just have a room in some guy's house. She figured that would bug me, but it didn't. I figured she should just go by price and how much she liked it. If I have to worry about her hooking up with some random guy, I'm already screwed.

    As far as gossip at work goes, this would not be the first time that's happened to me and it doesn't bother me. In fact, I actually provoke the knuckleheads on purpose sometimes. My wife knows this and usually finds it to be funny. The vibe I'm picking up in this case is not the same -- in the other situations, she's been friends with the other women for a long time.

    Sounds like I need to go with plan B. I find the fact that the circumstances look suspicious both amusing and somewhat flattering. If only I could attract the chickies so easily years back when I actually wanted to...

    Thanks for the ideas though. It's pretty clear where the vast majority of people stand on this.

  25. #25
    Gears? CliftonGK1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    My Bikes
    '08 Surly Cross-Check, 2011 Redline Conquest Pro, 2012 Spesh FSR Comp EVO, 2009 Spesh Singlecross, 2011 RM Flow1
    Posts
    11,304
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Wouldn't be an issue for me.
    After a point-to-point double century last year I crashed out in the living room at a female friend's house. My fiancee had no problem with this.
    "I feel like my world was classier before I found cyclocross."
    - Mandi M.

Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •