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Old 09-25-09, 09:13 AM   #1
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Hostile takeover of Couchology.....

Well folks....it's been an interesting night, but the end result is that I, KingTermite, am now the Supreme Rulla of Couchology (and there's gonna be some changes).


It all started with Couch_Incident getting an injury. While riding his bike through a mle G-20 protesters, Couch was knocked down off his bike (again) and had to be admitted to the hospital because he bruised his banana and kiwis (as he put it).

At the same time, President Obama who was in the area for the summit wanted to meet Couch_Incident because of the great things he'd heard about Couchology. However, I intercepted Obama before he made it to the hospital and convinced him that Couch_Incident needed to be admitted under the Baker Act. Obama agreed.

So.....now with Couch_Incident safely locked away, I was able to forcefully take over the Church. I had Tude's help, of course, so she's still #2 to the Supreme Rulla (me) with a new rank of 1.027. The fate of other high ranking church officials, like Luddite, Hillary and Singing Sabre, are yet to be determined (aka it depends on how they treat me).

So all.....please calm down over the news and know that your beloved Church of Couchology is in good hands.

New Couchology rules to follow....in MY time.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:18 AM   #2
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So, you took over Couchology using a hidden group of extremists?

Is this known as a Sleeper Sofa? If so, can I call you Sofa King?
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:18 AM   #3
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KT. You might want to fix your sig.

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Old 09-25-09, 09:22 AM   #4
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I, for one, welcome our new termite overlord(s).
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Old 09-25-09, 09:23 AM   #5
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KT. You might want to fix your sig.

Good point!

It was such a long and sleepless night I had no time to dwell on little things like that!
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Old 09-25-09, 09:25 AM   #6
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I, for one, welcome our new termite overlord(s).
I thank you. There is always a spot in Couchology for strong supporters. I even have some positions of authority open. Would you like to be left pole dancer in my sermon pulpit? Tude will be the right pole dancer.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:29 AM   #7
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So, you took over Couchology using a hidden group of extremists?

Is this known as a Sleeper Sofa? If so, can I call you Sofa King?
How very astute of you to realize my tactical method. They were Sleeper Sofas, but went unnoticed as they were disguised as futons.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:32 AM   #8
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I'm backing you up .... from way over there.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:32 AM   #9
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I prefer being operator of the Most Holy Flamethrower. Am not so good with the poles.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:33 AM   #10
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I'm backing you up .... from way over there.
Would you like to take over softball team coaching as I'll be unable to fill that role now?


Or.....you could be a money collector during Saturday Night services.

Your choice.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:33 AM   #11
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There are new rules going into effect too, new Supreme Rulah. See I manages the House of Church and the House needs some new items, like some new couches ---- all the ones we have now have burn holes in them from you know who, whose name shall not be uttered aloud.

Purchase Order: 5 new couches. Bright loud colors, one couch all floral prints, none of this dark and dreary stuff.

Signed,

No. 2
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Old 09-25-09, 09:34 AM   #12
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I think you should have a right and a wrong pole dancer. chipcom would be perfect for the wrong pole dancer.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:35 AM   #13
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I prefer being operator of the Most Holy Flamethrower. Am not so good with the poles.
Sorry, there is no more "Most Holy Flamethrower". After Monty Python stole the idea from us, we had it destroyed. It's now bolted to the bottom of the pool of holy Kool-Aid (which all members drink).
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Old 09-25-09, 09:35 AM   #14
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And there must be built-in recliners. Make it so.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:35 AM   #15
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I'm still an acouchist.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:35 AM   #16
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OK. How about Supreme Distributor of Snacks? Everyone likes snacks.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:36 AM   #17
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Sorry, there is no more "Most Holy Flamethrower". After Monty Python stole the idea from us, we had it destroyed. It's now bolted to the bottom of the pool of holy Kool-Aid (which all members drink).
The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch is not too be toyed with. Just saying.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:36 AM   #18
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There are new rules going into effect too, new Supreme Rulah. See I manages the House of Church and the House needs some new items, like some new couches ---- all the ones we have now have burn holes in them from you know who, whose name shall not be uttered aloud.

Purchase Order: 5 new couches. Bright loud colors, one couch all floral prints, none of this dark and dreary stuff.

Signed,

No. 2
Leather or Lycra?

Whatever...you have signature authority for church purchases. Get the new items as you see fit. When your done, please see me in my office. I lost my pants again and need some help.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:38 AM   #19
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I'm still an acouchist.
Shun the Unbeliever (google "Charlie the Unicorn" video for reference).
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Old 09-25-09, 09:39 AM   #20
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The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch is not too be toyed with. Just saying.
Antioch grenades are for wussy boys from Europe!!


We have Texas Tornado hang grenades....they were blessed by Tanya Tucker herself.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:40 AM   #21
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OK. How about Supreme Distributor of Snacks? Everyone likes snacks.
OK....but in our church, snacks are edible condoms and the holy kool-aid. Just sayin'.

coffeecake is now "snack" distributor.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:41 AM   #22
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Would you like to take over softball team coaching as I'll be unable to fill that role now?


Or.....you could be a money collector during Saturday Night services.

Your choice.
I need a new profession. I think embezzler would work.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:41 AM   #23
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I say you bake up some sheep cookies, so you can have Snackrificial Lambs.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-25-09, 09:41 AM   #24
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Holy Moly!!!!!!

Just entered the private living quarters of he-whose-name-shall-not-be-uttered. It's knee-deep in pron magazines!!! Now I know why he would disappear for days at a time! And it seems he likes Kool-Aid as well! He has wallpapered his place with the empty packages of Grape and Cherry Kool-Aid - there must be a thousand of them!

Pron and Kool-Aid - who knew!!!!!!
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Old 09-25-09, 09:45 AM   #25
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Holy Moly!!!!!!

Just entered the private living quarters of he-whose-name-shall-not-be-uttered. It's knee-deep in pron magazines!!! Now I know why he would disappear for days at a time! And it seems he likes Kool-Aid as well! He has wallpapered his place with the empty packages of Grape and Cherry Kool-Aid - there must be a thousand of them!

Pron and Kool-Aid - who knew!!!!!!
I think the pr0n magazines are safe....but be careful of the kool-aid packages. I noticed a lot of them were sticking together.
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