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Old 09-27-09, 12:08 AM   #51
Big_e
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16- Things we learned the hard way?....Hmmmmm? OK, I've got one, Never wipe hard when using one ply toilet paper. BTW, Hope you feel better soon Siuy.
On the other extreme, never use paper towels. At least never try to flush them! WHOOOSH!
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Old 09-27-09, 12:12 AM   #52
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Vodka and/or whiskey makes my mountainbike not stay upright and head directly towards
deep mudholes, thin ice, and epicly thorny thornbushes.
Somehow this concept requires continuous re-confirmation in case i stop believing in it.
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Old 09-27-09, 06:13 AM   #53
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The smartest people in the world don't know anything

I was told that by an old timer as a young man & it took years to learn what he meant
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Old 09-27-09, 06:56 AM   #54
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don't eat 6 pieces of jumbo brownies all at once.
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Old 09-27-09, 07:11 AM   #55
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Personally:

Make sure fingers are out of the way before closing a Swiss Army Knife. Similar applies to watching where one's fingers are before slamming a computer case closed.

Lessons I've seen others do:

Always shave whatever area before applying liquid latex. Removal of said liquid latex will render the area clean of hair, so the less there beforehand, the less painful the removal.

After a point with alcoholic drinks, the ill feeling of shots goes away, and you can slam the bottle without worry. Don't do this. This usually happens after drink #4 to drink #5.
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Old 09-27-09, 08:12 AM   #56
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When taking estimates from contractors NEVER pick the cheapest. In the end, you'll spend twice as much getting the shoddy work fixed. Also, be wary of anyone who says, "I have this friend...."
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Old 09-27-09, 08:31 AM   #57
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While we're on pocket knives, I learned this one twice:

Never use a pocket knife as a screwdriver.

Both of my index fingers have a slanted scar across the top reminding me of this.
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Old 09-27-09, 12:29 PM   #58
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22- never call your mom a hoe.
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You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve
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Old 09-27-09, 07:07 PM   #59
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On the other extreme, never use paper towels. At least never try to flush them! WHOOOSH!
My semi-invalid, under-hospice-care stepmother did that with a couple of Bountys; had to rent a drain snake to fix that one.


Now...

Never ever EVER use cushy warm winter gloves when commuting; my toddler's-puzzle collarbone tells me daily that was a bad idea.
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Old 09-27-09, 07:09 PM   #60
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When taking estimates from contractors NEVER pick the cheapest. In the end, you'll spend twice as much getting the shoddy work fixed. Also, be wary of anyone who says, "I have this friend...."
If only more folks had learned that lesson. *sigh*

I just lost an entire house to someone "with a friend" that works for "less per hour". Well, did you think that I might get more per hour because I can actually get more work done, and at a higher quality level? From what I hear, they asked for a carpenter and got a "carpetsmoker".

I made sure to tell them that my price was for me doing the building. Fixing someone else's mistakes will cost double.
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Ski, bike and wish I was gay.

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Old 09-27-09, 07:22 PM   #61
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Other drivers will pick on you more and be less courteous when you are driving your friend's Cheap Scare-okee putt putt vs when you are driving a big throaty sounding Hemi pickup truck.
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

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Old 09-27-09, 07:27 PM   #62
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15) Don't take outspoken young kids to art museums.

I learned this the hard way when I took my younger siblings to the Metropolitan museum of art in NYC when I was home from college one summer. I thought it would be a nice cultural experience. Most of them were old enough to appreciate it, except for my little brother who was 5 at the time. I had completely forgotten that there was a replica of Michaelangelo's David at the top of the grand staircase. When we reached the top, my little brother said in a very loud voice: "LOOK! You can see his !bleep!".

of course the hall was completely crowded, making the rest of us all the more embarrassed at my brother's commentary. I don't remember much of what happened after that except that we ducked into a neighboring exhibit hall...
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Old 09-27-09, 07:29 PM   #63
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there is a reason you want to move out so badly when you are 18.
it is difficult living with your parents when you have lived without them

Last edited by c0urt; 09-27-09 at 07:36 PM.
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Old 09-27-09, 11:37 PM   #64
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16) Do not try to cure an itch by pouring gasoline on the affected area and igniting it
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Old 09-27-09, 11:42 PM   #65
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17) Do not marry my ex wife.
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Ski, bike and wish I was gay.
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Old 09-28-09, 03:00 AM   #66
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do not marry your ex wife
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Old 09-28-09, 05:29 AM   #67
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10: telling your gf you crashed will bring a lot of nagging
Here, here! If the crash involves a car doing a right hook into you, you'll be better off leaving that part out of the story.

Also, if you almost ride off a bridge because you were watching beavers, make sure that you mention they were the swimming, dam building, animal type of beaver when you tell the story to your wife.
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Old 09-28-09, 03:18 PM   #68
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15?: Never sneeze inside a motorcycle helmet.
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Old 09-28-09, 03:37 PM   #69
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23? Don't take anyone for granted.
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Old 09-28-09, 03:40 PM   #70
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Never roll down a hill in a tire thinking you'll be able to stop before you get to the building at the bottom of said hill.
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