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Old 09-27-09, 07:37 PM   #1
Sixty Fiver
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Housemate Wanted:

Am seeking a housemate to share a beautiful 4 bedroom house in a wonderful neighbourhood.

Rent will include the main floor master bedroom and shared use of the main floor of the house, utilities, cable internet, laundry, and unlimited long distance.

I am close to everything.

I don't mind sharing the cooking duties... I am a gourmet chef.

If you ride a bicycle this will be like heaven as I am an experienced mechanic and won't mind helping you keep your bike in prime condition and am always giving away free schwag.

If I find I can trust you I might even let you ride / borrow one of my bikes.

The successful applicant must like small dogs and children, should be able to pass a security check and lease conditions, should be neat and tidy, gainfully employed,and most importantly should be physically unattractive and perhaps even repulsive, should shun contact with members of the opposite (or same sex), and have no interest whatsoever in "shacking up" with anyone and moving out with a week's notice.

A written vow of celibacy may be required.
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Old 09-27-09, 07:49 PM   #2
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at first I thought you were asking for advice on a personals ad.
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Old 09-27-09, 07:51 PM   #3
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I thought I would be flooded with applications already...

I should add that women (and some men) may feel strangely drawn to me and want to tear off their clothes and offer themselves so that I might ravish them repeatedly but I am taken with a capital T.

If you are subject to wanton urges or have boundary issues you need not apply.

Seriously... I need to find a nun for a housemate.
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Old 09-27-09, 07:54 PM   #4
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Have you tried the local convent?
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Old 09-27-09, 07:58 PM   #5
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I will call them tomorrow.

I will want a sister who is firm in her vows and will not be tempted as a novitiate might be.

But then they would probably want to convert me.
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Old 09-27-09, 08:00 PM   #6
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I thought of applying, but then I realized I'd only wear skimpy clothing around you.
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Old 09-27-09, 08:03 PM   #7
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PM sent.
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Old 09-27-09, 08:06 PM   #8
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I'd be the perfect candidate but I'm a registered man*****, registered in all 50 states and most countries.
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Old 09-27-09, 08:36 PM   #9
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I tore off my clothes while reading the OP. My brother is non too thrilled.
Now I am going to need a new roommate. Thanks.
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Old 09-27-09, 08:38 PM   #10
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I thought of applying, but then I realized I'd only wear skimpy clothing around you.
So tempting... but no.
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Old 09-27-09, 08:39 PM   #11
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PM sent.
I don't think your sister wants to move to Canada and she is far from being repulsive.
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Old 09-27-09, 08:40 PM   #12
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I tore off my clothes while reading the OP. My brother is non too thrilled.
Now I am going to need a new roommate. Thanks.
See ??

This is what I have to deal with here.
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Old 09-27-09, 08:43 PM   #13
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I'd be the perfect candidate but I'm a registered man*****, registered in all 50 states and most countries.
But you are hideous.

j/k
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Old 09-27-09, 08:47 PM   #14
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I think Botto would fit most of the descriptions you specify.
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Old 09-27-09, 08:48 PM   #15
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I think Botto would fit most of the descriptions you specify.
Sure enough... but he is too damn sexy for anyone to handle.
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Old 09-27-09, 08:52 PM   #16
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Good luck to you on your post. I am searching for the same here in California. I am nothing but serious however, my "want ads" seem to attract too many that don't have their crap together. Too many flakes around.
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Old 09-27-09, 08:52 PM   #17
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Sure enough... but he is too damn sexy for anyone to handle.
perhaps, but most of his posts are off-putting enough to counteract any attractiveness he may or may not have so I think you are safe.
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Old 09-27-09, 08:54 PM   #18
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Good luck to you on your post. I am searching for the same here in California. I am nothing but serious however, my "want ads" seem to attract too many that don't have their crap together. Too many flakes around.
Wanna move to Canada ?
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Old 09-27-09, 09:53 PM   #19
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who would want to live on the wrong side of the rocks anyway,you get snow over there and can't ride all winter,all ten months of it.
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Old 09-27-09, 10:10 PM   #20
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I'd apply but I'd have to find some way of getting around the vow of celibacy. Not to mention, ya'll may not like the way I practice on my charango until the wee hours of the morning (not that I'm any good). Huayno anybody?
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Old 09-27-09, 10:16 PM   #21
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who would want to live on the wrong side of the rocks anyway,you get snow over there and can't ride all winter,all ten months of it.
Wuss.

I ride all winter.
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Old 09-28-09, 12:57 AM   #22
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i have terrible habits. i break wind a lot. when can i move in?
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Old 09-28-09, 02:17 AM   #23
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Canada is TOO cold for me, even in the summer. I will stay here in California with the flakes and circus clowns.
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Old 09-28-09, 02:44 AM   #24
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Are you seriously having a problem finding a platonic housemate, male of female? I've had tons of roommates of both genders and nothing ever happened. It was never discussed as an issue. It was simply understood that we were sharing living quarters in order to save money, and that any "hanky panky" would ruin that arangement. I made a few friends that way, but never got into sex or relationships.
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Old 09-28-09, 03:11 AM   #25
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I think Botto would fit most of the descriptions you specify.
looky here! an anklebiter with cankles.
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