Am seeking a housemate to share a beautiful 4 bedroom house in a wonderful neighbourhood.
Rent will include the main floor master bedroom and shared use of the main floor of the house, utilities, cable internet, laundry, and unlimited long distance.
I am close to everything.
I don't mind sharing the cooking duties... I am a gourmet chef.
If you ride a bicycle this will be like heaven as I am an experienced mechanic and won't mind helping you keep your bike in prime condition and am always giving away free schwag.
If I find I can trust you I might even let you ride / borrow one of my bikes.
The successful applicant must like small dogs and children, should be able to pass a security check and lease conditions, should be neat and tidy, gainfully employed,and most importantly should be physically unattractive and perhaps even repulsive, should shun contact with members of the opposite (or same sex), and have no interest whatsoever in "shacking up" with anyone and moving out with a week's notice.
A written vow of celibacy may be required.