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  1. #1
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Things you've done to skirt your way out of trouble.

    ...........?..........
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  2. #2
    surly old man jgedwa's Avatar
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    My whole life? Hard to figure how to narrow it down beyond that.

    However, I do highly recommend owning a smoke machine.

    jim
    Cross Check Nexus7, IRO Mark V, Trek 620 Nexus7, Karate Monkey half fat, IRO Model 19 fixed, Amp Research B3, Surly 1x1 half fat fixed, and more...
    --------------------------
    SB forever

  3. #3
    Señor Member USAZorro's Avatar
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    skirt? This thread is biased against men.

    Aside for a few years while in college, I have been very careful about not letting myself relinquish control of my actions.

    Fifty years, zero broken bones - I feel somewhat successful.
    The search for inner peace continues...

  4. #4
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by USAZorro View Post
    skirt? This thread is biased against men.
    Not really...

  5. #5
    Dirt Bomb sknhgy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jgedwa View Post
    My whole life? Hard to figure how to narrow it down beyond that.

    However, I do highly recommend owning a smoke machine.

    jim
    I am presently dealing with someone's Smoke Machine and it sucks. Some folks have lying down to an art. They wear people down with it to get their way.

  6. #6
    Mystery Meat gitarzan's Avatar
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    Make 'em laugh.

  7. #7
    surly old man jgedwa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sknhgy View Post
    I am presently dealing with someone's Smoke Machine and it sucks. Some folks have lying down to an art. They wear people down with it to get their way.
    Liars suck. I, however, was talking about an actual smoke machine. A machine that makes smoke. If no one can ever see clearly, they can't clearly see what I am doing.

    jim
    Cross Check Nexus7, IRO Mark V, Trek 620 Nexus7, Karate Monkey half fat, IRO Model 19 fixed, Amp Research B3, Surly 1x1 half fat fixed, and more...
    --------------------------
    SB forever

  8. #8
    Senior Member Marrock's Avatar
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    If the cop didn't see it, I didn't do it.
    "Engineering! It's like math, but louder."

  9. #9
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    I told the truth.

    I got pulled over for "switching lanes without signaling and driving erratically". When asked why I was doing that I told the cop that I was racing that frikken Mustang that just got away because he pulled me over.

    He got a kick out of that and told me it was safer to race at the Ocean Beach Strip after 10pm.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  10. #10
    surly old man jgedwa's Avatar
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    Wait. Lying to cops counts? Oh man. Then I am a huge liar.

    jim
    Cross Check Nexus7, IRO Mark V, Trek 620 Nexus7, Karate Monkey half fat, IRO Model 19 fixed, Amp Research B3, Surly 1x1 half fat fixed, and more...
    --------------------------
    SB forever

  11. #11
    Senior Member Nota's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jgedwa View Post
    My whole life? Hard to figure how to narrow it down beyond that.

    However, I do highly recommend owning a smoke machine.

    jim
    You may be in luck, as it just so happens, the old Indian friend that I was using my machine to send text messages to, is no longer in my circle, so I have one I'll sell ya, for cheap.

    Ya might want to wash the little nozzle tip on the end of the bellows thing, though. Just sayin...
    Attached Images Attached Images
    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.” Mark Twain (apocryphal)

  12. #12
    Mystery Meat gitarzan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
    I told the truth.
    You know, back in my younger days, I found that if I told the baldfaced truth and appeared to be contrite and willing to accept the consequences, I could unsling my fanny. It worked many times.

  13. #13
    beast mode bluevelo's Avatar
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    If I told you, I'd have to kill you. Or, at the very least, toss you into a giant vat of skin lotion and give you a chance to not soften to death.

  14. #14
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    GAWD this thread is FAIL!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  15. #15
    beast mode bluevelo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
    GAWD this thread is FAIL!!
    Its Monday. People are too busy nursing their weekend hangovers to be witty.

    Although a true friend is someone who says, when you finally get sprung from a Mexican jail, "Hey, that was fun. Let's do that next year!"

  16. #16
    ÖöÖöÖöÖöÖö Dannihilator's Avatar
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    I got in a high speed police chase and was able to talk it down to a blown out tail light.
    Strike like an eagle and sacrifice the dove.
    Words and Stuff.

  17. #17
    surly old man jgedwa's Avatar
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    Wise man say: scared kid will always beat cop in a footrace.

    Cars are a handicap. Bikes are okay. But, your feet can solve lots of life's problems.
    Cross Check Nexus7, IRO Mark V, Trek 620 Nexus7, Karate Monkey half fat, IRO Model 19 fixed, Amp Research B3, Surly 1x1 half fat fixed, and more...
    --------------------------
    SB forever

  18. #18
    ÖöÖöÖöÖöÖö Dannihilator's Avatar
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    BTW I was kidding.
    Strike like an eagle and sacrifice the dove.
    Words and Stuff.

  19. #19
    Senior Member pedex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
    GAWD this thread is FAIL!!
    rule number 1: don't talk about fight club

  20. #20
    Pwnerer Wordbiker's Avatar
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    For me, skirts have been nothing but trouble.
    Quote Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
    Ski, bike and wish I was gay.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Snicklefritz's Avatar
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    I got pulled over on I5 as I was driving to visit my boyfriend. The conversation went something like this:

    CHP officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
    Me: no sir. I was just keeping my eyes on the road and going with the flow of traffic
    CHP: no you weren't! I clocked the ambulance doing 80 and you caught it. You were pulling the pack!

    [he goes back to his car to do who knows what...meanwhile I'm doing the math and thinking if the ambulance was doing 80 and I caught it then how fast was I going?? Oh no. This is going to be expensive. Officer comes back a few minutes later. I look and see that he isn't wearing a ring on the left hand, so I figure maybe I have a chance here...]

    Me: officer, can I ask for a discount on this ticket for having attended the citizen's policy academy in my town?
    CHP: [gruff voice] there's no such thing as a discount.
    me: [oh no! is he mad???]
    CHP: but I'll tell you what I'll do. I will write down that you were doing 80 mph instead of what you were actually doing.
    Me: what will that mean?
    CHP: It means you can do traffic school instead of paying a $350 fine.
    Me: Awesome! Thank you officer.

  22. #22
    Footballus vita est iamlucky13's Avatar
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    I don't skirt my way out of trouble. I pants my way out of trouble. Think about it. If a person is going to yell at you, and you pants them before they can do it, you're pretty much going to leave them speechless.

    I broke a piece on a display item back when I worked in retail for a summer. I went to the nearest hardware store on my lunch break to get parts to fix it.

    Actually, in retrospect I doubt I would have been in trouble had I just admitted what happened, but I'd specifically asked to prepare the display because I was new and I wanted to show I was a gung ho and capable. I was horrified that I'd screwed up. As is, I was admonished for taking so long to get the display ready (mainly to fix the damage).
    "The internet is a place where absolutely nothing happens. You need to take advantage of that." ~ Strong Bad

  23. #23
    Crushing souls Hickeydog's Avatar
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    I hid in a tree. For 14 hours.

    I was 8 when I did that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post

    What's frightening is how coherent Hickey was in posting that.

  24. #24
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Face transplant, tooth exchange and finger tip removal
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Chacal's Avatar
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    Lied like a rug

    came clean and copped to what I did

    ran like hell

    hid in the woods

    blamed someone else

    etc etc it all depends on the situation

    My favorite - and this has worked several times - is when confronting someone who is incensed for whatever reason and wants to kick your ass, you just smile and put your hand on their arm and swiftly charm the snot out of them. I don't know why, but this always seems to work.

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