My whole life? Hard to figure how to narrow it down beyond that.
However, I do highly recommend owning a smoke machine.
skirt? This thread is biased against men. :eek:
Aside for a few years while in college, I have been very careful about not letting myself relinquish control of my actions.
Fifty years, zero broken bones - I feel somewhat successful.
Make 'em laugh.
If the cop didn't see it, I didn't do it.
I told the truth.
I got pulled over for "switching lanes without signaling and driving erratically". When asked why I was doing that I told the cop that I was racing that frikken Mustang that just got away because he pulled me over.
He got a kick out of that and told me it was safer to race at the Ocean Beach Strip after 10pm.
Wait. Lying to cops counts? Oh man. Then I am a huge liar.
Ya might want to wash the little nozzle tip on the end of the bellows thing, though. Just sayin...
If I told you, I'd have to kill you. Or, at the very least, toss you into a giant vat of skin lotion and give you a chance to not soften to death.
GAWD this thread is FAIL!! :cry:
I got in a high speed police chase and was able to talk it down to a blown out tail light.
Wise man say: scared kid will always beat cop in a footrace.
Cars are a handicap. Bikes are okay. But, your feet can solve lots of life's problems.
BTW I was kidding.
For me, skirts have been nothing but trouble.
I got pulled over on I5 as I was driving to visit my boyfriend. The conversation went something like this:
CHP officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: no sir. I was just keeping my eyes on the road and going with the flow of traffic
CHP: no you weren't! I clocked the ambulance doing 80 and you caught it. You were pulling the pack!
[he goes back to his car to do who knows what...meanwhile I'm doing the math and thinking if the ambulance was doing 80 and I caught it then how fast was I going?? Oh no. This is going to be expensive. Officer comes back a few minutes later. I look and see that he isn't wearing a ring on the left hand, so I figure maybe I have a chance here...]
Me: officer, can I ask for a discount on this ticket for having attended the citizen's policy academy in my town?
CHP: [gruff voice] there's no such thing as a discount.
me: [oh no! is he mad???]
CHP: but I'll tell you what I'll do. I will write down that you were doing 80 mph instead of what you were actually doing.
Me: what will that mean?
CHP: It means you can do traffic school instead of paying a $350 fine.
Me: Awesome! Thank you officer.
I don't skirt my way out of trouble. I pants my way out of trouble. Think about it. If a person is going to yell at you, and you pants them before they can do it, you're pretty much going to leave them speechless.
I broke a piece on a display item back when I worked in retail for a summer. I went to the nearest hardware store on my lunch break to get parts to fix it.
Actually, in retrospect I doubt I would have been in trouble had I just admitted what happened, but I'd specifically asked to prepare the display because I was new and I wanted to show I was a gung ho and capable. I was horrified that I'd screwed up. As is, I was admonished for taking so long to get the display ready (mainly to fix the damage).
I hid in a tree. For 14 hours.
I was 8 when I did that.
Face transplant, tooth exchange and finger tip removal
Lied like a rug
came clean and copped to what I did
ran like hell
hid in the woods
blamed someone else
etc etc it all depends on the situation
My favorite - and this has worked several times - is when confronting someone who is incensed for whatever reason and wants to kick your ass, you just smile and put your hand on their arm and swiftly charm the snot out of them. I don't know why, but this always seems to work.