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Old 09-30-09, 05:41 PM   #1
mustang1
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Some people have funny views about others in the same situation

My aunt who's pretty fat, was commenting about another fatter woman, and mocking her for being 'so fat'.

One of my friends, who's a little plump, was commenting about another fatter guy, about how fat he was: "I know I'm not slim but how can anyone become that fat?" he would say.

My wife has put on a little weight, and she comments on her brother's wife's obsession with weight control.

Is anyone else seeing some weird pattern here or is it just me? The only similarity I can see here is all three people listed have a dim view of other people and think of themselves as being the epicenter of the universe. Not wanting to cause a fuss (and generally not caring) I didn't say anything but can see how they could all do with an attitude re-adjustment.
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Old 09-30-09, 06:00 PM   #2
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ur fat and I'm cool

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Old 09-30-09, 06:15 PM   #3
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Perhaps it's a way of making them feel better about themselves? Pointing out that they aren't that bad?
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Old 09-30-09, 06:19 PM   #4
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ur skinny, but I'm still cool
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Old 09-30-09, 06:32 PM   #5
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Perhaps it's a way of making them feel better about themselves? Pointing out that they aren't that bad?
That.
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Old 09-30-09, 06:46 PM   #6
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Displaced self-loathing.
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Old 09-30-09, 06:48 PM   #7
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fat ppl make fun of other fatter ppl b/c it makes us feel better....that's why
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Old 09-30-09, 06:48 PM   #8
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displaced self-loathing.
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Old 09-30-09, 07:14 PM   #9
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I'm no skinny-azz, carry some extra weight (in fact I'm a clyde), but when I see someone who's just... OUT THERE with it, I can't help but wonder (to myself, usually) what they do with their lives, and why they feel it's OK to not even try and be healthier.

20-somethings should not make me look svelte. (I'm 50)

I won't say something TO them, just because I'm not someone who says hurtful things to people; there's a select few that will hear any possible comments I may make, but that's pretty rare.
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Old 09-30-09, 07:21 PM   #10
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Its all Relative.
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Old 09-30-09, 07:29 PM   #11
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Its all Relative.
Yeah, I think I inherited my lard too.
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Old 09-30-09, 08:08 PM   #12
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Mustang, aren't you doing the same exact thing, judging others as fatter than yourself?
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Old 10-01-09, 12:35 AM   #13
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Wordbiker: yes i am, but if you were fat and you told your friend that you saw a real fat guy, wouldn't your friend think "hold on a sec, you're fat yourself and you're telling me others are fat?"

In high school, there was this guy who had a big ass, and he used to go round pointing out kinds who had really big asses. Behind his back, we would comment "huh... like this guy has a big ass himself and he's calling others out?"
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Old 10-01-09, 05:02 AM   #14
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i like laughing at fat people. especially that fat slob in the mirror who follows me everywhere.
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Old 10-01-09, 07:32 AM   #15
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I think the issue is multi-tiered.

First, I think those that verbalize it are just jerks.

Second, I think Dr. Pete hit the nail on the head of one other factor, self loathing.

Third, in spite of what skinny people think, some of us fatties are actually trying to get more healthy. And at least for me, when I see someone even near my weight, I used to think what some people apparently say... However, I have come to the realization, that some other fatties are trying as hard as me to adjust their lifestyles, and just because I don't see what they do, or understand their hurdles, it does not make them less...

Why a person gains weight can be varied. For me it was a lifetime of depression, and having only food as a friend.

I started out in the Marines with people telling me I was fat when I was 6' tall and 180 pounds... even though I ran 3+ miles frequently. In fact, when I hit 203 (the max allowed for a Marine, I ran 3 miles a day as part of the weight control detail at least 5 days per week, and rode my bike 5 miles each way to the morning physical training. I didn't lose weight because I ate for the depression. I got out of the Marines due to my time being up, and just beat a less than honorable discharge, which was being processed primarily because I wasn't losing weight.

I more than doubled that weight at my peak, since I quit running after I got out of the Marines.

From my peak, I lost over 120 pounds, and I was still fat. I gained about 60 pounds since then, and I am still fat. Other "fat" people that are within 50 pounds of their ideal weight may see me and have the thoughts that were expressed in the OP.

I know how to lose weight, and I even try, but too often, I am stricken with depression, and lean on the only comfort I have known for too long... food.

Along with this, I would challenge anyone to strap on enough weight to get to 350 pounds total and take a walk with me... or try climbing stairs, or riding a bike...

But with all of that, I am not looking for anyone to see me in a particular way, but to see everybody, fat or thin, short or tall, male or female as a person that has their own demons.

For those of you who go through life happy and healthy (there must be 2 or 3 of you without some issues) maybe you can't relate... but if you have ever felt that others didn't understand how hard something was for you, then HTFU and treat people as people, and not as a number on a scale, or measuring stick, or a certain chromosome pairing.

But back on topic... It was easier for me to quit smoking after 18 years of the habit than to lose 50 pounds... and quitting smoking was incredibly difficult. That fat person you are disgusted with may be working harder to correct their weight than you ever have worked at anything in your life.
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Old 10-01-09, 07:34 AM   #16
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good post LD.
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Old 10-01-09, 07:42 AM   #17
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good post LD.
ur ugly, but I'm still cool


Note the thread title got changed...I am surprised it took as long as it did for someone to get offended that the OP used the f word.
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Old 10-01-09, 07:44 AM   #18
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ur ugly, but I'm still cool


Note the thread title got changed...I am surprised it took as long as it did for someone to get offended that the OP used the f word.
are you looking in the mirror again?

note- People get offended way to freaking easily, imo.
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Old 10-01-09, 07:46 AM   #19
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ur ugly, but I'm still cool


Note the thread title got changed...I am surprised it took as long as it did for someone to get offended that the OP used the f word.
The title was noticed immediately.

Out of respect I was waiting for the OP to give me permission to change the title before I just went ahead and did it.
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 10-01-09, 07:51 AM   #20
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Some good thoughts on here... but I think the above applies to many situations other than just weight. I think its called projecting in psychology - where a person will criticize others for flaws that they have themselves, but will not admit up to (or aren't even aware of).
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Old 10-01-09, 08:00 AM   #21
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are you looking in the mirror again?

note- People get offended way to freaking easily, imo.
Yes, I am looking in my mirror, as a matter of fact...it was the only decent frame I had for your picture.

agreed, it's freakin pitiful
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Old 10-01-09, 08:02 AM   #22
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note- People get offended way to freaking easily, imo.
yes they do
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Old 10-01-09, 08:13 AM   #23
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yes they do
Of course they get offended. Especially if they get chastised for something that they can't really help although trying to change.

I don't think people really WANT to be unhealthy. Some really do have issues like thyroid problems. Or presently in my case asthma has been restricting my usual athletic activities. Just the other day I suffered a very bad attack, so bad that the boss was calling 911. Hard to get a lot of exercise if I can't breathe.
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 10-01-09, 08:15 AM   #24
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Of course they get offended. Especially if they get chastised for something that they can't really help although trying to change.

I don't think people really WANT to be unhealthy. Some really do have issues like thyroid problems. Or presently in my case asthma has been restricting my usual athletic activities. Just the other day I suffered a very bad attack, so bad that the boss was calling 911. Hard to get a lot of exercise if I can't breathe.
I was talking about everyone everywhere...not overweight people...

I am actually one of the people that got made fun of way way back when so b/c of that my self esteem issues are thru the roof...I am not one of the meanies that make fun of people with weight issues
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Old 10-01-09, 08:32 AM   #25
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Some good thoughts on here... but I think the above applies to many situations other than just weight. I think its called projecting in psychology - where a person will criticize others for flaws that they have themselves, but will not admit up to (or aren't even aware of).
Good point. I recently discussed projection with someone on a different issue, and I think you are right.

As an application, I know how to lose weight, I have done it. And I let things get in the way, or to be more accurate put things in my own way.

But, when I see others, I sometimes for a moment think, "that person should..." before I realize that I have no idea what that person has done, or is doing... If I see someone 100 pounds heavier than me, they may have already lost a significant amount of weight... or be struggling with their limitations as I have (and still do). I am most likely to project like this when I am feeling the worst about my own level of effort.
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