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Old 10-02-09, 10:43 PM   #1
Wordbiker
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My grandpa passed away this morning.

No, this isn't a thread asking for your sympathies or condolences, though of course they will not be refused. I just wished to express the story as it meant a lot to me today.

My Mom called me around lunchtime. She was in Northern California visiting my Dad where he's been working for a public utility company for months now. They got a call from my Dad's brother Larry saying that Grandpa wasn't doing well and wouldn't last long. They hightailed it to Southern Cal where we're all from originally, met with their brothers and sister (4 kids, 3 boys, 1 girl) at the hospital where Grandpa had been due to difficulties breathing. He's been doing poorly for a while, mainly frome ignoring issues with diabetes and continuing to live like he always had.

When they were all gathered around him, he said, "I'm in Heaven right now", meaning that he was surrounded by his children that all love him. That was yesterday, he passed early this morning...as if he'd waited til all of them showed up and had time to say their goodbyes.

I told my Mom a couple things:

I told her that I needed a favor: She needs to make sure I'm a very old man before I have to deal with something like that. She laughed and said that they'd do their best.

Then I said that for a man to make it so far in life, to have done all the things my Grandpa accomplished, and then to find his end surrounded by children that loved and cherished him must have been the best way to leave this Earth possible.

<Sorry, break for sobbing>

Goodbye Grandpa. I will love and cherish your memory always.
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Old 10-02-09, 10:46 PM   #2
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Sorry man. I offer my condolences. That must be the best way to go though, if you have to go...it should be surrounded by those who love you.
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Old 10-02-09, 10:51 PM   #3
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He sounds like a great influence. Rest in peace, Wordbiker's grandpops.
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Old 10-02-09, 10:51 PM   #4
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Sorry man. I offer my condolences. That must be the best way to go though, if you have to go...it should be surrounded by those who love you.
I agree. It's beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. It's also still sinking in.
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Old 10-02-09, 11:03 PM   #5
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I agree. It's beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. It's also still sinking in.
I wasn't particularly close with my grandfather (mom's father), and he passed away earlier this year from cancer, but all his children were there to see him off.

My dad's dad, is starting to get real old...and while he's in a pretty good state of health...I dread the day that he passes away because I am fairly close with him.
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Old 10-02-09, 11:11 PM   #6
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Thanks for sharing your story. I am an only child and live in California; my father passed June 19th and he and my mother have lived in Iowa for all of their adult lives.

He had suffered from years of declining health and had a massive stroke that paralyzed his right side and left him unable to talk or swallow on June 13th... the prognosis was not good, even with therapy the best they could offer was assisted living and no guarantees he would be able to talk or eat again.

This is not what he wanted; he had suffered enough being disabled since 1987, he was 75, and had made it clear to my mother and I that he did not want extraordinary treatment if an incident such as this happened.

I flew home the day before he died; he could still recognize people and had been fighting the IVs and other stuff to the point they had him tied to the bed. I walked in, he saw me... it was bad, I'd seen him after two open heart surgeries, but I could tell this was not good. Later, one of his favorite nephews and cousins came by.

Mom took me home about 6:00 pm; it took me forever to go to sleep, I told him when I left "I love you, and you decide what you need to do." Mom went back after eating for two hours and said "he'd gotten so peaceful, they'd taken the restraints off." She just sat there and watched him sleep.

Around midnight, I was watching Ultimate Fighting on Versus... he loved that stuff, and finally settled down to sleep on the downstairs couch. Mom woke me up at a quarter to 4:00; the hospital called and he was gone.

I also believe that he'd waited for me. He'd not had any solid food since the stroke day and the doctors told us that if we did not ventilate him (he was panting like a dog) and insert a feeding tube he would die fairly quickly.

I miss him, but I'm glad his suffering is over. The last two years had been especially hard on him.

Dad was not afraid to die and had arrested twice - the 2nd time he was declared clinically dead. Both times he had life after death experiences. The first, in 1987 while undergoing a heart cath procedure, he talked about being bathed in brilliant light and pretty colors. The second time, in 2001, he had a urinary tract infection that morphed into a major kidney infection that resulted in an arrest. That time, he said he "had a long talk with the Lord" but he would never say what it was about... but he kept telling me the last few months that my Mom would be joining him fairly soon after he died.

Two weeks after he died, Mom had a needle biopsy on a tumor on her spine, which has turned out to be a Stage IV non-small cell lung cancer. She's had her first round of radiation and is doing chemo.

She's got a great attitude, but... its obviously not curable the current state of the art, but they hope they can put it into remission without compromising her quality of life. She simply wants to get well enough to move out here to California and spend her remaining time with me "I want to get out of the cold for a while."

I'm not trolling for sympathy either... but I totally understand your story man.
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Old 10-03-09, 03:42 AM   #7
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When they were all gathered around him, he said, "I'm in Heaven right now", meaning that he was surrounded by his children that all love him.
This.
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Old 10-03-09, 03:54 AM   #8
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When they were all gathered around him, he said, "I'm in Heaven right now", meaning that he was surrounded by his children that all love him.

{{{{{HUGS********

That was ... awesome.

My heart's with you.
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Old 10-03-09, 04:24 AM   #9
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Seems like he wasn't ready to go until his family was there. He hung on for that. Seems like it was completion for him....Awesome, WB.

((hugs))
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Old 10-03-09, 04:35 AM   #10
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Wordbiker, first, I woould like to express my heartfelt condolences. Second, he's going to still be around as long as his memory and influences echo in the world.
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Old 10-03-09, 07:26 AM   #11
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It sucks to loose your grandpa, but be happy with the knowledge that now he's not only in heaven looking out for all of his kids and grand kids...he's also young and strong and invincible again!
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Old 10-03-09, 07:53 AM   #12
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Glad that you got to know your Grandpa and thanks for sharing your perspective. Indeed, to die surrounded by a circle of familial love is a great testimony to a man.

Will lift your family up in prayer.

J
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Old 10-03-09, 08:07 AM   #13
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Loss of those important to us all, is a universal experience. We all know or will know that empty feeling such news brings.. Our condolences.. You can always remember your grandpa's last wishes were completed by the presence of those important to him.
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Old 10-03-09, 08:31 AM   #14
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He's been doing poorly for a while, mainly from ignoring issues with diabetes and continuing to live like he always had.
As it should be. That's how I wanna go too...living life by my rules.
My condolences to you and your family
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Old 10-03-09, 08:55 AM   #15
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Sorry to hear that.The most difficult part of life is the loss of family and other loved ones.
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Old 10-03-09, 08:55 AM   #16
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I'm very sorry for your loss, but rest assurred that he is in a better place, with no more suffering.

We'll remember you guys in our prayers.

The best thing you can do, is remember him. Nothing is more important to a Grandpa, than having his Grandchildren think good things about him.........
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Old 10-03-09, 09:03 AM   #17
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The only hard part for me is that I can't be there.

Mom said that Grandpa will be cremated by his own request, but a memorial service hadn't been planned yet. Even if it was in a month, I'm in no financial position to take a trip to CA. It's too bad because my Mom's brother is getting married for the first time...in his 60's! I'd really like to see all the family attending the wedding again. It's been over 17 years since I lived in CA, longer than that ago that I've seen some of them.

Mom said the "good news" was that my Dad lost his job. While they were tending to Grandpa, the project he'd been working on shut down. Normally this would be bad news, but it means my Dad will get a needed break and is coming home to CO. That is good news, I miss him a lot.
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Old 10-03-09, 01:08 PM   #18
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That is a sad yet uplifting story.

I know he was happy to not be alone at the time of his passing. I would be if I knew it was coming. I'm sure grandpa knew you couldn't be there but wanted to be. Oldsters are far more insightful than we may think. Your story told me he went with dignity and love. That's all we can ask for.

I'm sorry for your loss.
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Old 10-03-09, 01:38 PM   #19
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I'm sorry for your loss WB, and also bluevelo.

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Old 10-03-09, 02:55 PM   #20
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Don't worry dude, in one way or another he'll always be around, and you'll have no doubt its him.
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Old 10-03-09, 03:06 PM   #21
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Old 10-03-09, 03:12 PM   #22
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My condolences WB. All I can say is try to remember the good times, as long as you remember him, he's here.
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Old 10-03-09, 03:13 PM   #23
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My condolences as well. My best wishes to you and yours.
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Old 10-03-09, 03:33 PM   #24
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Hey WB, it's good you posted and I hope you're ok (you sound ok?).

Just deleted a bunch of text coz I didn't wanna hijack the thread.

What memory will you cherish the most about your grandad?
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Old 10-03-09, 04:10 PM   #25
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I'm sorry for your loss WB, and also bluevelo.

Grandfathers have long since departed. Dad passed a couple winters ago after about a month in a stroke induced coma. Didn't quite have the closure I would have liked in either case (one Granddad passed many years before I was born, so there was never even opening there). I'm glad both you guys are feeling at peace with things. That's often the most difficult part.

I'll be thinking of you both for a while now.
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