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  1. #1
    . botto's Avatar
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    Ever perform surgery?

    discuss.
    yes, this is a parody thread. something i hate, but something that foo loves.

  2. #2
    Señor Member USAZorro's Avatar
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    On some leather items...
    The search for inner peace continues...

  3. #3
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
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    My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
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    on myself once, I had a nice size flap of skin on my hand that wouldn't fit back into it's orig position, so I grabbed up the scissors and cut the flap till it fit, then I crazy glued it shut, worked great!
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

  4. #4
    Senior Member randya's Avatar
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    on some warts

  5. #5
    Mrs. DataJunkie Luddite's Avatar
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    I had to remove my toenail that was close to falling off a couple weeks ago, plus the previous toenail incident (from running) I went to the beach and I had a bruised toenail...anyway as I was leaving the beach I noticed the toenail was sticking STRAIGHT UP. EWWWW. limped home, had to soak/rinse the sand away, then i taped that bastard down. Nasty.

  6. #6
    AEO
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    it was pretty hard working on that android with biotic skin.
    Food for thought: if you aren't dead by 2050, you and your entire family will be within a few years from starvation. Now that is a cruel gift to leave for your offspring. ;)
    http://sanfrancisco.ibtimes.com/arti...ger-photos.htm

  7. #7
    Found my way <3 2 Ride's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by botto View Post
    discuss.
    yes, this is a parody thread. something i hate, but something that foo loves.
    Who are you and what have you done with botto?

    And to answer your question, yes, several unauthorized surgical procedures to remove slivers and gravel. Oh, and I tried in vain to remove part of my finger a year and a half ago while cooking dinner. Fortunately, a real dr. was able to repair my handy-work quite nicely.
    When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace. - Jimi Hendrix

    Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. - John Lennon


  8. #8
    beast mode bluevelo's Avatar
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    In high school, I had a ganglion on my left wrist because I was using too heavy gauge guitar strings. I had it injected with cortisone (talk about pain) and the doc hit it with a rubber mallet one time.

    Basically, all it is is a giant fluid sac that results from an irritated tendon. One day, I just SMACKED the top of my hand against a desk and popped it.

    Never came back. Of course, I also went to much lighter gauge strings too. Problem solved. (Don't always listen to what a jazz guitar teacher tells you, HTFU only goes so far).

  9. #9
    Dirt-riding heretic DrPete's Avatar
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    Yes. About 1400 times so far, and twice tomorrow.

    My favorite? A tie between carotid endarterectomy and aortic aneurysm repair.
    "Unless he was racing there was no way he could match my speed."

  10. #10
    Your imaginary friend. fuzzbox's Avatar
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    Yes.

    Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.

  11. #11
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    I have done a field expedient tracheotomy, does that count?

    I was first on scene at an accident way up in the northern part of Alberta, and a driver had crashed and crushed his larynx on the steering wheel and had no airway. He crashed right in front of me. Swiss Army knife, 1 bic pen tube, 1 slice into the throat, right above the notch in the sternum and insert pen tube and the end result was 1 live accident victim to be loaded into the air ambulance that took 53 minutes to arrive.
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  12. #12
    Dirt-riding heretic DrPete's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
    I have done a field expedient tracheotomy, does that count?

    I was first on scene at an accident way up in the northern part of Alberta, and a driver had crashed and crushed his larynx on the steering wheel. Swiss Army knife, 1 bic pen tube, 1 slice into the throat, right above the notch in the sternum and insert pen tube and the end result was 1 live accident victim to be loaded into the air ambulance that took 53 minutes to arrive.
    Yeesh! Congrats 1. for saving the guy's life, and 2. not hitting the thyroid gland or the gigantic artery/vein that can live there in some patients.

    Next time, stick with the cricothyroidotomy. Of course, if yours was anything like the times I've done it, you just kinda pray there IS no next time.

    http://www.surgeryencyclopedia.com/C...roidotomy.html
    "Unless he was racing there was no way he could match my speed."

  13. #13
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrPete View Post
    Yeesh! Congrats 1. for saving the guy's life, and 2. not hitting the thyroid gland or the gigantic artery/vein that can live there in some patients.

    Next time, stick with the cricothyroidotomy. Of course, if yours was anything like the times I've done it, you just kinda pray there IS no next time.

    http://www.surgeryencyclopedia.com/C...roidotomy.html
    I was really wishing that there wasn't a first time, to be honest. I really didn't have a whole lot of choice. I remembered the training I got in the army, though and it worked. I got a letter after from the guy telling me he was still alive and thanking me, and according to his med team, I did it perfectly. Not bad for remembering 20 year old theoretical training.
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  14. #14
    Dirt-riding heretic DrPete's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
    I was really wishing that there wasn't a first time, to be honest. I really didn't have a whole lot of choice. I remembered the training I got in the army, though and it worked. I got a letter after from the guy telling me he was still alive and thanking me, and according to his med team, I did it perfectly. Not bad for remembering 20 year old theoretical training.
    "Unless he was racing there was no way he could match my speed."

  15. #15
    Crushing souls Hickeydog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by botto View Post
    discuss.
    yes, this is a parody thread. something i hate, but something that foo loves.
    :jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop:
    Quote Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post

    What's frightening is how coherent Hickey was in posting that.

  16. #16
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    I regularly post in the most inane road cycling threads. Obviously, I performed brain surgery on myself while drunk one evening.

  17. #17
    Lost Again gitarzan's Avatar
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    I've lanced my own boils. Most of the time they got better. A couple times I later had to explain to a doctor what I did.

  18. #18
    perpetually frazzled mickey85's Avatar
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    Does super-gluing a greyhound leg count?

    Arthur was running around on my parents' property last year and sliced up the inside of his thigh really good. Super glue was necesary.
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    Master of the low end garbajj!

  19. #19
    Every day a winding road spinnaker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
    I was really wishing that there wasn't a first time, to be honest. I really didn't have a whole lot of choice. I remembered the training I got in the army, though and it worked. I got a letter after from the guy telling me he was still alive and thanking me, and according to his med team, I did it perfectly. Not bad for remembering 20 year old theoretical training.
    Could have easily gone the other way, even if you did everything 100% correct. Last thing you would want after something like that is a law suit from the family.



    It took a lot of courage. I am not sure I could have done it even with the training. I would have been shaking like crazy.
    "The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."

    Albert Einstein

  20. #20
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spinnaker View Post
    Could have easily gone the other way, even if you did everything 100% correct. Last thing you would want after something like that is a law suit from the family.



    It took a lot of courage. I am not sure I could have done it even with the training. I would have been shaking like crazy.
    When I did it, I was too focused to shake. After, though, I had the shakes for about 20 minutes. I just didn't even think about repercussions.....letting him die was out of the question.
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  21. #21
    AEO
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
    When I did it, I was too focused to shake. After, though, I had the shakes for about 20 minutes. I just didn't even think about repercussions.....letting him die was out of the question.
    they wouldn't let you do that now. doing surgery without a license for that specific procedure that is.

    oh, the wonders they teach you in first aid.
    Food for thought: if you aren't dead by 2050, you and your entire family will be within a few years from starvation. Now that is a cruel gift to leave for your offspring. ;)
    http://sanfrancisco.ibtimes.com/arti...ger-photos.htm

  22. #22
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AEO View Post
    they wouldn't let you do that now. doing surgery without a license for that specific procedure that is.

    oh, the wonders they teach you in first aid.
    I didn't learn the procedure as basic First Aid, it was Military Field training for combat injuries.
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  23. #23
    AEO
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
    I didn't learn the procedure as basic First Aid, it was Military Field training for combat injuries.
    yes, but what I heard from the paramedic who was teaching first aid, not even they're allowed to do that.

    I just wanted to say how laws sometimes interfere with saving lives.
    Food for thought: if you aren't dead by 2050, you and your entire family will be within a few years from starvation. Now that is a cruel gift to leave for your offspring. ;)
    http://sanfrancisco.ibtimes.com/arti...ger-photos.htm

  24. #24
    Bike Commuter MrRamonG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
    I have done a field expedient tracheotomy, does that count?

    I was first on scene at an accident way up in the northern part of Alberta, and a driver had crashed and crushed his larynx on the steering wheel and had no airway. He crashed right in front of me. Swiss Army knife, 1 bic pen tube, 1 slice into the throat, right above the notch in the sternum and insert pen tube and the end result was 1 live accident victim to be loaded into the air ambulance that took 53 minutes to arrive.
    I saw that in an episode of M*A*S*H once.
    Orange County CA
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  25. #25
    Recovering mentalist Randochap's Avatar
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    Popped a lot of zits in my spotty youth.
    VeloWeb | VeloWebLog

    "The bicycle is the noblest invention of mankind." ~William Saroyan

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