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Old 10-06-09, 04:54 PM   #1
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Ever perform surgery?

discuss.
yes, this is a parody thread. something i hate, but something that foo loves.
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Old 10-06-09, 04:57 PM   #2
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On some leather items...
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Old 10-06-09, 05:03 PM   #3
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on myself once, I had a nice size flap of skin on my hand that wouldn't fit back into it's orig position, so I grabbed up the scissors and cut the flap till it fit, then I crazy glued it shut, worked great!
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Old 10-06-09, 05:03 PM   #4
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on some warts
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Old 10-06-09, 05:20 PM   #5
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I had to remove my toenail that was close to falling off a couple weeks ago, plus the previous toenail incident (from running) I went to the beach and I had a bruised toenail...anyway as I was leaving the beach I noticed the toenail was sticking STRAIGHT UP. EWWWW. limped home, had to soak/rinse the sand away, then i taped that bastard down. Nasty.
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Old 10-06-09, 05:22 PM   #6
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it was pretty hard working on that android with biotic skin.
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Old 10-06-09, 05:27 PM   #7
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discuss.
yes, this is a parody thread. something i hate, but something that foo loves.
Who are you and what have you done with botto?

And to answer your question, yes, several unauthorized surgical procedures to remove slivers and gravel. Oh, and I tried in vain to remove part of my finger a year and a half ago while cooking dinner. Fortunately, a real dr. was able to repair my handy-work quite nicely.
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Old 10-06-09, 06:32 PM   #8
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In high school, I had a ganglion on my left wrist because I was using too heavy gauge guitar strings. I had it injected with cortisone (talk about pain) and the doc hit it with a rubber mallet one time.

Basically, all it is is a giant fluid sac that results from an irritated tendon. One day, I just SMACKED the top of my hand against a desk and popped it.

Never came back. Of course, I also went to much lighter gauge strings too. Problem solved. (Don't always listen to what a jazz guitar teacher tells you, HTFU only goes so far).
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Old 10-06-09, 06:56 PM   #9
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Yes. About 1400 times so far, and twice tomorrow.

My favorite? A tie between carotid endarterectomy and aortic aneurysm repair.
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Old 10-06-09, 07:17 PM   #10
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Yes.
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Old 10-06-09, 07:20 PM   #11
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I have done a field expedient tracheotomy, does that count?

I was first on scene at an accident way up in the northern part of Alberta, and a driver had crashed and crushed his larynx on the steering wheel and had no airway. He crashed right in front of me. Swiss Army knife, 1 bic pen tube, 1 slice into the throat, right above the notch in the sternum and insert pen tube and the end result was 1 live accident victim to be loaded into the air ambulance that took 53 minutes to arrive.
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Old 10-06-09, 07:23 PM   #12
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I have done a field expedient tracheotomy, does that count?

I was first on scene at an accident way up in the northern part of Alberta, and a driver had crashed and crushed his larynx on the steering wheel. Swiss Army knife, 1 bic pen tube, 1 slice into the throat, right above the notch in the sternum and insert pen tube and the end result was 1 live accident victim to be loaded into the air ambulance that took 53 minutes to arrive.
Yeesh! Congrats 1. for saving the guy's life, and 2. not hitting the thyroid gland or the gigantic artery/vein that can live there in some patients.

Next time, stick with the cricothyroidotomy. Of course, if yours was anything like the times I've done it, you just kinda pray there IS no next time.

http://www.surgeryencyclopedia.com/C...roidotomy.html
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Old 10-06-09, 07:42 PM   #13
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Yeesh! Congrats 1. for saving the guy's life, and 2. not hitting the thyroid gland or the gigantic artery/vein that can live there in some patients.

Next time, stick with the cricothyroidotomy. Of course, if yours was anything like the times I've done it, you just kinda pray there IS no next time.

http://www.surgeryencyclopedia.com/C...roidotomy.html
I was really wishing that there wasn't a first time, to be honest. I really didn't have a whole lot of choice. I remembered the training I got in the army, though and it worked. I got a letter after from the guy telling me he was still alive and thanking me, and according to his med team, I did it perfectly. Not bad for remembering 20 year old theoretical training.
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Old 10-06-09, 07:57 PM   #14
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I was really wishing that there wasn't a first time, to be honest. I really didn't have a whole lot of choice. I remembered the training I got in the army, though and it worked. I got a letter after from the guy telling me he was still alive and thanking me, and according to his med team, I did it perfectly. Not bad for remembering 20 year old theoretical training.
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Old 10-06-09, 07:59 PM   #15
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discuss.
yes, this is a parody thread. something i hate, but something that foo loves.
:jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop:
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Old 10-06-09, 08:06 PM   #16
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I regularly post in the most inane road cycling threads. Obviously, I performed brain surgery on myself while drunk one evening.
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Old 10-06-09, 08:10 PM   #17
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I've lanced my own boils. Most of the time they got better. A couple times I later had to explain to a doctor what I did.
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Old 10-06-09, 08:12 PM   #18
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Does super-gluing a greyhound leg count?

Arthur was running around on my parents' property last year and sliced up the inside of his thigh really good. Super glue was necesary.
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Old 10-06-09, 08:35 PM   #19
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I was really wishing that there wasn't a first time, to be honest. I really didn't have a whole lot of choice. I remembered the training I got in the army, though and it worked. I got a letter after from the guy telling me he was still alive and thanking me, and according to his med team, I did it perfectly. Not bad for remembering 20 year old theoretical training.
Could have easily gone the other way, even if you did everything 100% correct. Last thing you would want after something like that is a law suit from the family.



It took a lot of courage. I am not sure I could have done it even with the training. I would have been shaking like crazy.
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Old 10-06-09, 08:42 PM   #20
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Could have easily gone the other way, even if you did everything 100% correct. Last thing you would want after something like that is a law suit from the family.



It took a lot of courage. I am not sure I could have done it even with the training. I would have been shaking like crazy.
When I did it, I was too focused to shake. After, though, I had the shakes for about 20 minutes. I just didn't even think about repercussions.....letting him die was out of the question.
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Old 10-06-09, 08:54 PM   #21
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When I did it, I was too focused to shake. After, though, I had the shakes for about 20 minutes. I just didn't even think about repercussions.....letting him die was out of the question.
they wouldn't let you do that now. doing surgery without a license for that specific procedure that is.

oh, the wonders they teach you in first aid.
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Old 10-06-09, 08:58 PM   #22
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they wouldn't let you do that now. doing surgery without a license for that specific procedure that is.

oh, the wonders they teach you in first aid.
I didn't learn the procedure as basic First Aid, it was Military Field training for combat injuries.
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Old 10-06-09, 09:15 PM   #23
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I didn't learn the procedure as basic First Aid, it was Military Field training for combat injuries.
yes, but what I heard from the paramedic who was teaching first aid, not even they're allowed to do that.

I just wanted to say how laws sometimes interfere with saving lives.
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Old 10-06-09, 09:20 PM   #24
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I have done a field expedient tracheotomy, does that count?

I was first on scene at an accident way up in the northern part of Alberta, and a driver had crashed and crushed his larynx on the steering wheel and had no airway. He crashed right in front of me. Swiss Army knife, 1 bic pen tube, 1 slice into the throat, right above the notch in the sternum and insert pen tube and the end result was 1 live accident victim to be loaded into the air ambulance that took 53 minutes to arrive.
I saw that in an episode of M*A*S*H once.
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Old 10-06-09, 09:20 PM   #25
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Popped a lot of zits in my spotty youth.
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