William--Just to share a similar experience from my family. My brother in law cheated on my sister in law. They had become distant from each other, and he (without even realizing it) was not getting satisfaction in their relationship. They went to councelling, and have rediscovered their love for each other. She has forgiven him (actually more accurately, they have forgiven each other) but neither has forgotten. If anyone ever says forgive and forget, ignore them. By not forgetting, they are reminded of how far they strayed from their beliefs.
Now, if your wife is not committed towards healing (but you make it sound like she is), then the relationship is lost. If she is as committed as you are, your marraige can not only survive, but thrive.