When the Mediation process started, we were both ordered not to talk about any divorce related issues, anywhere. We were supposed to write everything down and discuss it on the mediation sessions.
Well, that's is now over, the divorce is final and I can rant!
The Cellphone Issue
It was agreed that she could get my son a cellphone to maintain communication with him. I'm fine with that but remember we are talking about a 9yo kid with learning disabilities. We agreed the kid should be trained on how to use a cellphone and that she will limit her calls to a max of 3 per day.
Yesterday I had the kid and she came in yelling to him as soon as she entered the door...
"I called you 14 times on your cellphone! Why you didn't answer your cellphone!?"
She kept yelling like she would do with a grown up, a boyfriend or something. Gee! I had to step in, "calm down!, he just 9 and he was busy playing with me (we had a good Red Alert match going on). Then she kept looking at my boy like he was scum.... I was/am so mad about this.
The living arrangements
We are both to continue living here till the end of the lease (Nov 30 thanks God). SHe said she will move out on the 20th. I already have my own place set up for the 20th as well. But I'm seriously thinking about getting out of here a lot sooner. It's is impossible for me to provide a loving/caring environment for my children, when she is always yelling at them for whatever stupid stuff they did or didn't.
If I can get out sooner, should I?
The only thing that makes me thing about twice is the kids transportation. See, ex-wifey here chose a job where she starts at 5am and comes back at 6pm. Therfore me and my sister dealing with taking/picking the kids @ school every day. That's both my days and my ex-wife days. But that's only possible because we are still in the same house. Once we start living separate, I'm not gonna wake up @ 4am to drive to my ex's place, watch the kids sleep for 3 more hours and take them to school. And that's only the mornings, evenings are more complicated.
Only 2 solutions I see here, she either finds a way, or leave the kids with me when they have school.
Oh... and yet more fraud
To bad I didn't got a hold of this information BEFORE the last mediation session. Here's the deal, she claimed to social security administration that she was an abandoned mother of 2 kids with disabilities and she has receiving $700 a month from the SSI program.
I never "abandoned" my kids... I'm right here! Buying groceries, paying bills, changing dirty diapers! what a b1tch! I'm sure the Social Security will found out. She already got caught on other frauds with the unemployment office, welfare, food stamps, you name it. I'm a little worried about being liable myself on this new scam of hers.
The religion issue
After a full live of neglecting going to church, she is now a church geek, going there few days a week, dragging the kids into the whole thing. And OK, that might me good but IMHO going to church doesn't save you if you are not sincere. You can't claim to be a follower, and continue making federal fraud (stealing), hiding your income in court (lying).... etc etc etc
IMHO she is just putting on a show to paint herself as a victim in front of the church community and get help from the congregation. I'm angry at the church for playing along with this game without knowing the other side of the story. But that's easily fixable. I was raised on that church and church if for everyone. I'll take the kids to church myself and show my face held high. Let everybody know who Ruben is and how far he goes for his children.
When I'm at home and she's working, there is so much peace in the air. The kids play, do their home work, then play some more. At bed time, they invade my room with all their blankies and stuffed animals. I always play some kids movie but they never finish watching it, as they fall asleep quickly. During the night, they grab me while still sleeping, to make sure Daddy is not going away. I feel so much love from both my kids, it's an amazing feeling. I'm so glad I'm gonna have them half the days every month instead of a weekend every now and then. Those kids are such a blessing in my life.
and that's all for now...thx for reading my rantish post...