warning, longish dramatic story.
A few weeks ago the BF told me he was going to LA to visit some friends from college- 1 guy who's married, and a female friend. I immediately went guano-crazy (internally, I'm pretty good about not being a complete crazy woman), about him going to LA to visit some female friend. I'm pretty sure that is who he's staying with because they are better friends, but I was afraid to ask.
I did eventually call and tell him it bothered me he was going to visit a female friend- very short convo, got the appropriate understanding and reassurance I needed. He pointed out I have guy friends just like he has female friends (i know this, most of my friends are guys and 2 of them visited me in Denver. I asked the BF and he had no issue). I left a very bad relationship about a year before I met him filled with lies and cheating. I feel like I'm experiencing some relationship PTSD. I'm trying very hard to trust and not be scared, but its difficult.
I've reflected a lot the past couple weeks, and one of the biggest things eating me is "why wouldn't i be invited?" And then I over think, and thoughts like... he must be hiding something... start sneaking in. My insecurities are manifesting themselves. He left yesterday and I didn't sleep pretty much all night, today I feel completely nauseous.
I'm shocked at myself and embarrassed that I am apparently jealous, and insecure.
SO, the questions for bf are:
1) at what point in a relationship do you think it becomes inappropriate to be vacationing to visit friends of the opposite sex, and not invite your SO?
2) what the heck do i say when he comes back; and how do i keep it together talking to him while he's there?
3) how do i not go crazy until he comes back sunday?