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Old 12-02-09, 12:27 PM   #1
UnsafeAlpine
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Things I have learned

1. Kids have energy.

2. Becoming an instant stepparent is insanely hard.

3. You can get used to feeling overwhelmed all the time.

4. Twins are way more than twice as challenging as one child.

5. Unless you have twins you don't know how challenging it is.

6. Unless you have become the instaparent of twins you don't know how challenging it is.

7. Becoming the instaparent for twins is the most exacerbating, frustrating, overwhelming, maddening, difficult, uncertain challenge I have ever undertaken.

8. I love a good challenge.
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Old 12-02-09, 12:31 PM   #2
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Still scared of them, eh? Har.
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Old 12-02-09, 12:38 PM   #3
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Still scared of them, eh? Har.
When mom is gone and one of the decides he needs a snack, I don't know how to respond. Does she normally give them one now? Should I tell him to wait? If I give him one now, will he ruin his appetite? If I don't give him one, will he be mad at me? If I tell him to wait until mom gets home, do I look weak, like I can't make a decision? 3 weeks isn't enough time for me to learn all these things. Mom has had 6 years and so have the kids. As a book I'm currently reading said, it's like showing up to a marathon an hour late and trying to play catch-up.
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Old 12-02-09, 12:42 PM   #4
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Healthy snacks are never a bad ides IMO. I swear my 14 yo eats about every two hours
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Old 12-02-09, 12:42 PM   #5
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All you have to do is ask them what they usually do...trust them to tell you the truth. If you feel that they want to sneak an extra snack, tell them you want to respect their mom and wait until she says when they can have it.

It sets an example.
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Old 12-02-09, 12:42 PM   #6
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Offer them something healthy. If they are truly hungry they'll eat it. If they were looking for treats, they'll suddenly become unhungry.
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Old 12-02-09, 12:45 PM   #7
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Offer them something healthy. If they are truly hungry they'll eat it. If they were looking for treats, they'll suddenly become unhungry.
They only eat healthy snacks so even if they're unhungry, they'll still eat it. They routinely ask for apples and veggies.
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Old 12-02-09, 12:47 PM   #8
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They only eat healthy snacks so even if they're unhungry, they'll still eat it. They routinely ask for apples and veggies.
what are you raising? rabbits?
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Old 12-02-09, 12:49 PM   #9
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what are you raising? rabbits?
The girl eats spinach leaves like they're going out of style. Carrots, cucumbers, raisins and even whole mushrooms have been devoured.
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Old 12-02-09, 12:49 PM   #10
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The girl eats spinach leaves like they're going out of style. Carrots, cucumbers, raisins and even whole mushrooms have been devoured.
yep...rabbits.
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Old 12-02-09, 12:54 PM   #11
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They only eat healthy snacks so even if they're unhungry, they'll still eat it. They routinely ask for apples and veggies.
Well, you know you're doing something right!

Tough gig, and good on you for taking it on. Our twins are 5, going on 6 in March. Gotta be firm, fair, and consistent. If you can't be all of those, at least try to be consistent. And don't let them play the parents off each other. Mrs. Caloso and I have agreed that you have to present a united front. Unless there's an immediate danger to life and limb, never undercut the other parent's decisions on snacks, bedtime, discipline. Take it up later in private, but never in front of the kids.

Good luck!
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Old 12-02-09, 01:35 PM   #12
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When mom is gone and one of the decides he needs a snack, I don't know how to respond. Does she normally give them one now? Should I tell him to wait? If I give him one now, will he ruin his appetite? If I don't give him one, will he be mad at me? If I tell him to wait until mom gets home, do I look weak, like I can't make a decision? 3 weeks isn't enough time for me to learn all these things. Mom has had 6 years and so have the kids. As a book I'm currently reading said, it's like showing up to a marathon an hour late and trying to play catch-up.
1) kids respect (and need) authority, so don't be afraid to make a decision!
2) watch you some supernanny! abc.go.com
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Old 12-02-09, 01:40 PM   #13
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What's a kid?
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Old 12-02-09, 01:45 PM   #14
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What's a kid?
Someone you give a lighter too.

Couch
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Old 12-02-09, 02:20 PM   #15
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Healthy snacks are never a bad ides IMO. I swear my 14 yo eats about every two hours
Have yuo been to a doctor about this. Loss of appitite in a teen is case for concern.
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Old 12-02-09, 02:26 PM   #16
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Kids need snacks! Kids (well, adults, too) aren't supposed to just eat three huge meals a day. Should be three smaller meals and snacks in between.

Although I don't have twins, all of your original points apply to having just one kid, too. And having a kid from birth still has that "instant-parent" feel to it. I am also living all your points exactly as you wrote them, and I am not even a step-parent and I don't even have twins.

Welcome to your new world. I still feel continuously overwhelmed and it's been 16 months for me...!
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Old 12-02-09, 02:27 PM   #17
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Have yuo been to a doctor about this. Loss of appitite in a teen is case for concern.
Haha, it took me a moment to get this. This is good.
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Old 12-02-09, 02:31 PM   #18
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What's a kid?
baby goat?
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Old 12-02-09, 02:34 PM   #19
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baby goat?
that's best known as future BBQ.
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Old 12-02-09, 02:40 PM   #20
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Have yuo been to a doctor about this. Loss of appitite in a teen is case for concern.
haha, I hear ya
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Old 12-02-09, 02:49 PM   #21
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Well welcome to the club of parenting. You've definitely jumped into the deep end with both feet. If you come across something you don't know how to respond ... remember and ask mom when you get the chance. Worst case scenario is you do it wrong once. Kid says they're hungry, feed 'em. Most important is to be consistent with Mom. It's a challenge but man O man is it ever rewarding. Most important thing I've ever done in my life, being a Dad.
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Old 12-02-09, 03:26 PM   #22
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try dealing with someone who is 42 non-verbal and has the mentality of a kid.
every so often thats my friday or saturday night.
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Old 12-02-09, 03:43 PM   #23
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dealing with or being? *snikkier*

I'm being facetious, that sounds like a handful
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Old 12-02-09, 08:12 PM   #24
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He's really doing a great job. I have had a 6 year head-start on this gig. After 3 weeks, he has found his authoritative voice.

And, yes, my kids eat like rabbits. We're big on healthy snacks and healthy food. Tonight's do-it-yourself salmon & spinach salads were a big hit all around.

ETA: and we added in brownies after dinner just to round things out.
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Old 12-02-09, 08:33 PM   #25
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Damn, twins? That's rough.

I jumped into parenting with my wife. Before we got married, I had to watch her 3 kids when she was at work. A few things I learned:

-If you get on the floor, you will become a playground.
-If you get weary of being a playground, do not throw a child from your back onto a bed/sofa. They will insist on going on that ride again.
-If you lose track of the youngest one while dealing the other, and discover the kid in the bathroom brushing their teeth, make sure that it was with toothpaste and not Vagisil.
-Since having two more of my own, I now understand how kids can be so energetic. They suck the life force out of the parents.
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