Advertise on Bikeforums.net



User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 30
  1. #1
    la vache fantôme phantomcow2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    NH
    Posts
    6,266
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Proper attire for a memorial service?

    What is the proper attire for a memorial service? My great uncle, whom I had a decent relationship with (he was an engineer and interested in my projects), passed away recently. Anyways, a memorial service -- not a funeral -- is being held tomorrow. I can't remember the last memorial service I've been to, since I've always been away the few times there's been one for a person I know. Is this an occasion for a tie? A suit?
    C://dos
    C://dos.run
    run.dos.run

  2. #2
    Administrator CbadRider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    On the bridge with Picard
    My Bikes
    Specialized Allez, Specialized Sirrus
    Posts
    5,517
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    You should wear solemn attire. If you have a suit and tie, wear it. Otherwise choose a jacket and tie with a long sleeved shirt.
    Quote Originally Posted by RPK79 View Post
    Does the ignore feature just replace all of the poster's text with "Said something stupid" because that would be awesome.
    Forum Guidelines *click here*

  3. #3
    Senior Member avmanansala's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Sacramento, CA
    My Bikes
    Cannondale Road Warrior
    Posts
    401
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I always dress up...business casual...dark slacks, pressed shirt and depending on the weather, a tie or not (usually a dark one). I'm more a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy (even at work) but I will dress up to pay my respects, but that's me.

    Oh, and I'm sorry for your loss.
    "Study your math, kids. Key to the Universe." - Gabriel in The Prophecy

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    13
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    can't go wrong with a suit. Overdressing is usually OK, not so under-dressing.

  5. #5
    la vache fantôme phantomcow2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    NH
    Posts
    6,266
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Is a cream fitted shirt and dark blue tie with a mild, stripped pattern okay?
    C://dos
    C://dos.run
    run.dos.run

  6. #6
    Administrator CbadRider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    On the bridge with Picard
    My Bikes
    Specialized Allez, Specialized Sirrus
    Posts
    5,517
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    That seems fine to me.
    Quote Originally Posted by RPK79 View Post
    Does the ignore feature just replace all of the poster's text with "Said something stupid" because that would be awesome.
    Forum Guidelines *click here*

  7. #7
    I ain't no newbie redirekib's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    The Goddard Institute - Area 51-Skunk Works Division - Space Age Materials Lab
    Posts
    1,184
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by phantomcow2 View Post
    Is a cream fitted shirt and dark blue tie with a mild spaghetti sauce stain okay?
    Don't you have a clean shirt?
    "Never send a monkey to do a man's job." ~ Captain Leo Davidson ~

  8. #8
    Senior Member jdon's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Toronto
    My Bikes
    Lynskey R230, S-Works Epic, Bianchi Speciale, Tricross Expert
    Posts
    4,127
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Wear what you think the deceased would consider respectful.

  9. #9
    Old Fogy
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Murray, Utah
    Posts
    1,224
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I have been to a couple of funerals lately where men have worn blue jeans. Perhaps that is considered appropriate in rural Utah. I would think at least dress slacks and a jacket, if not a tie.

  10. #10
    Super Moderator no1mad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    NE OK
    My Bikes
    '06 Kona Smoke
    Posts
    7,294
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I've been to only one funeral/memorial in my life- for my 17 yr old nephew, who was killed while riding his bike. That was the last time I wore a tie (can't stand those choke collars). Anyway, his younger brother wore his football jersey to the service. People thought he was in shock, and admonished the mother (my S-I-L). The younger one defended his mom by stating that his brother would not want him "fronting"...wearing/acting out of character.

    How can you be truly respectful of the memory of the deceased if you feel obligated to wear something that does represent the 'true' you?

  11. #11
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
    My Bikes
    to many to list
    Posts
    6,083
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by jdon View Post
    Wear what you think the deceased would consider respectful.
    Did you wear a suit everytime you visited/hung out with him? if not wear what you would have worn when you went to visit/hang out, I feel anything else would be kinda hypocritical, but thats just me, and I don't expect anyone to understand it or even agree with it.
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

  12. #12
    BF Risk Manager
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Snohomish County, Washington USA
    My Bikes
    Road, mountain and folding
    Posts
    894
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I have to vote for the suit and tie or tie, dress shirt and dress slacks for this particular service. I suspect that the decendent is older and well-established in his community or profession.

    You have to choose appropriate wear for the circumstances. I have been to several funerals/memorial services over the past couple of years where younger attendees have gone for the ripped jeans or the boobs hanging out look. Suffice it to say that they stood out and were not remarked upon kindly. These were for decendents who were older or perhaps more conservative.

    Now, if you are going to the type of memorial service where they pour a forty on the curb in memoriam, the ripped jeans or football jersey may be right on point.
    Regards, MillCreek
    Snohomish County, Washington USA

  13. #13
    Third World Layabout crtreedude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Costa Rica
    My Bikes
    Cannondale F900 and Tandem
    Posts
    3,061
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Wear what those who are grieving the most will consider appropriate. You aren't there for the your uncle, but for those who are trying to deal with their loss. This would probably be your aunt if she is still alive and any of his children.

    And anyone who is very close to the person who died gets a pass in my opinion, after all, the memorial is for them, not for anyone else. If you felt particular close, whatever helps you cope.

  14. #14
    surfrider
    Guest
    Any invite that gives suggested attire? When my cousin's husband died unexpectedly (brain anurism), the invite I got to the service stated: "Attire: Hawaiian shirts & shorts - the louder the better". Completely appropriate considering they met and married in Hawaii, and vacationed there quite often.

  15. #15
    BF Risk Manager
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Snohomish County, Washington USA
    My Bikes
    Road, mountain and folding
    Posts
    894
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    ^^^^ Now that is a really good touch, with the invite suggesting the type of attire. I will have to remember that when I pass on. I hope everyone here has a Starfleet uniform.
    Regards, MillCreek
    Snohomish County, Washington USA

  16. #16
    Caustic Soccer Mom apclassic9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Millstone WV
    Posts
    1,759
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Great Uncle? I guess he lived a long life? I would think, then, that a memorial service would be more to celebrate who he was and what he did with his life. So, wear the clothes that you wore when you hung out with him to discuss/display/explain your projects. Yeah, wear your lab coat complete with pocket protectors.

    Funerals are for mourning, memorial services are to remember the person and celebrate that life.
    As with mud, life, too, slides by.

  17. #17
    Third World Layabout crtreedude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Costa Rica
    My Bikes
    Cannondale F900 and Tandem
    Posts
    3,061
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by MillCreek View Post
    ^^^^ Now that is a really good touch, with the invite suggesting the type of attire. I will have to remember that when I pass on. I hope everyone here has a Starfleet uniform.
    Everyone show up with a shovel and plan on using me for fertilizer...

  18. #18
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
    My Bikes
    to many to list
    Posts
    6,083
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by crtreedude View Post
    Wear what those who are grieving the most will consider appropriate. You aren't there for the your uncle, but for those who are trying to deal with their loss. This would probably be your aunt if she is still alive and any of his children.

    And anyone who is very close to the person who died gets a pass in my opinion, after all, the memorial is for them, not for anyone else. If you felt particular close, whatever helps you cope.
    I disagree, I feel anything done for the dead is for the dead, the living still have a chance to deal with it as they're still alive, ;0) I've stop going to most things that have to do with the dead as I feel most that show up are indeed hypocrites, they show little or no interest in the person while they're alive then show up to "show their respect," (just like all the people that sin all week then go to church on the weekends! LOL!) my family knows I want no one but my "real" family at my "I'm dead Party!" and they can wear whatever the hell they want! YEAH! and I know my daughters will not let anyone else in, their good kids. =0) (We expect about 10 people including my immediate family) =0)
    Last edited by ilikebikes; 01-09-10 at 06:22 PM.
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

  19. #19
    Senior Member GP's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    7,036
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    If you're not sure, wear a coat and tie.

  20. #20
    Third World Layabout crtreedude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Costa Rica
    My Bikes
    Cannondale F900 and Tandem
    Posts
    3,061
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by ilikebikes View Post
    I disagree, I feel anything done for the dead is for the dead, the living still have a chance to deal with it as they're still alive, ;0) I've stop going to most things that has to do with the dead as I feel most that show up are indeed hypocrites, they show little or no interest in the person while they're alive then show up to "show their respect," (just like all the people that sin all week then go to church on the weekends! LOL!) my family knows I want no one but my "real" family at my "I'm dead Party!" and they can wear whatever the hell they want! YEAH! and I know my daughters will not let anyone else in, their good kids. =0) (We expect about 10 people including my immediate family) =0)
    I told my family that if they do any special for me I am going to come back and haunt them.

    The truth is that people can be pretty fragile during a memorial. Those who are dead don't care what you do most likely (none of us are dead so we have no idea) but you can really screw up your relationship with family and friends if they perceive you aren't being respectful.

    just my dos colones

  21. #21
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
    My Bikes
    to many to list
    Posts
    6,083
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    my family is going to have me cremated and spread my ashes in the rain forest of Puerto Rico! Oh Yeah! (those are my wishes) but hey, OP, do what you think is right for you and your great uncle dude. ;0)
    Last edited by ilikebikes; 01-09-10 at 06:28 PM.
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

  22. #22
    la vache fantôme phantomcow2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    NH
    Posts
    6,266
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I ended up wearing slacks, a tucked in dress shirt, and tie. No coat. To my surprise, I felt a little under dressed, as most of the older ones had a complete suit.

    While a memorial service isn't meant to be filled with grieving, the funeral service wont be held for a few months because the ground is frozen solid.
    C://dos
    C://dos.run
    run.dos.run

  23. #23
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Winter Springs, FL
    Posts
    539
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Black, clean, in the right size.

  24. #24
    Third World Layabout crtreedude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Costa Rica
    My Bikes
    Cannondale F900 and Tandem
    Posts
    3,061
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by ilikebikes View Post
    my family is going to have me cremated and spread my ashes in the rain forest of Puerto Rico! Oh Yeah! (those are my wishes) but hey, OP, do what you think is right for you and your great uncle dude. ;0)
    You hope. Often families don't follow your last wishes. They do what they want, after all, you aren't around to complain. People do what they feel they have to get over their grief.

  25. #25
    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1,626
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I think I will donate my body to a local zoo with the stipulation that it be used to feed the bears and lions. That should alleviate any concerns about the family having to bury me.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •