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Old 03-02-10, 12:21 PM   #1
RubenX 
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She really has a pair (now this is another ex rant)

Her car is parked in her driveway and it has a flat. Not an emergency since she is using MY spare car. She called yesterday and asked for help to fix the flat ASAP. Apparently the city inspector said that is a violation to city code and she will be fined for $250 if the flat is not fixed in 3 days. I have no problem with helping the mother of my kids so I said OK. I went there yesterday and gave her my portable air compressor, that should do the job.

She called again this morning and said the tire went flat again overnight. OK, I told her she needs to take the tire out, get it to the shop, fix it, put it back. "Can you do it?"... oh well, yeah... I'm off and the kids are in school, what the heck. But when I got there, freaking new boyfriend sitting on the porch, smoking a cigarette without a care in the world... I drive by and came back home. I called, left voicemail "You have an able man there that can fix your flat. No need for me to do it."

She called back some minutes ago, left voicemail... "YOU have to fix it! And if I get fined, you gonna have to pay the fine!".

All I can say is... she really has a pair.

Surprisingly, I'm not upset, mad, jealous or depressed. Looks like I'm finally reaching the point where I don't give a sh1t anymore. And that's good, very very good.

All that's left now is to decide if I'm gonna fix the fricking flat or not. After all, it is in my best interest to help her get her car up and running again, so I can have my spare car back. I should probably help with the re-title too. I don't want my name on her car's title.

So, to fix or not to fix?
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Old 03-02-10, 12:26 PM   #2
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Don't fix it. You'll just end up fixing all her problems.
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Old 03-02-10, 12:27 PM   #3
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Don't fix it. You'll just end up fixing all her problems.
+1.

Although get your name off that title yesterday.
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Old 03-02-10, 12:32 PM   #4
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Oh... and just for the record... we are not getting frisky and I have no idea what makes her believe she can make this kind of demands.
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Old 03-02-10, 12:41 PM   #5
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If the car is in your name, fix the flat. Sign it over to her and you both go to the DMV to make sure you are released of liability. I believe the person the car is registered to will get the fine. It is not the boyfriends responsibility to fix the car. Besides, if that car is the one you depend on to get the kids around safely, I'd fix it. The kids are first, doesn't matter who the guy is.
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Old 03-02-10, 12:41 PM   #6
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You got road service on your cell phone? Call and have them change it. Put the donut spare on. Let her worry about getting the real tire fixed. Badda boom, badda bing.
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Old 03-02-10, 12:42 PM   #7
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Get your name off the title. She needs to learn how to deal with **** on her own or at least without you. Loaning her a car is a bad idea, as well. Don't help her, Ruben, seriously, at all. Learn how to say no and use it often.
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Old 03-02-10, 12:42 PM   #8
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If the car is in your name, fix the flat. Sign it over to her and you both go to the DMV to make sure you are released of liability. I believe the person the car is registered to will get the fine. It is not the boyfriends responsibility to fix the car. Besides, if that car is the one you depend on to get the kids around safely, I'd fix it. The kids are first, doesn't matter who the guy is.

+1
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Old 03-02-10, 12:48 PM   #9
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If the car is in your name, fix the flat. Sign it over to her and you both go to the DMV to make sure you are released of liability. I believe the person the car is registered to will get the fine. It is not the boyfriends responsibility to fix the car. Besides, if that car is the one you depend on to get the kids around safely, I'd fix it. The kids are first, doesn't matter who the guy is.
Sorry Siu, I think this is bad advice. I may be a prick, though. She has to do it without Ruben. Because they have kids is no excuse for her to use Ruben. Let her figure it out and if she can't, let the courts figure it out.
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Old 03-02-10, 12:50 PM   #10
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Get your name off the title. She needs to learn how to deal with **** on her own or at least without you. Loaning her a car is a bad idea, as well. Don't help her, Ruben, seriously, at all. Learn how to say no and use it often.

Yeah for real. Now if it was a motorcycle that would be different, right?

Don't forget about the motorcycle, UA. BooYah.
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Old 03-02-10, 12:50 PM   #11
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torch the car.
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Old 03-02-10, 12:52 PM   #12
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Yeah for real. Now if it was a motorcycle that would be different, right?

Don't forget about the motorcycle, UA. BooYah.
Just a different situation.
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Old 03-02-10, 12:54 PM   #13
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Just messin' with you about the motorcycle, UA. ((hugs))

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Sorry Siu, I think this is bad advice. I may be a prick, though. She has to do it without Ruben. Because they have kids is no excuse for her to use Ruben. Let her figure it out and if she can't, let the courts figure it out.
No, not a prick at all. You are a guy who's had experience. But the car is under his name and he will get the fine. The kids are riding in that car. It's his responsibility as a parent to make sure the kids are safe, right?
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Old 03-02-10, 12:54 PM   #14
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torch the car.
There ya go.
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Old 03-02-10, 12:56 PM   #15
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Move off planet. I hear Vega5 is nice this time of year.
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Old 03-02-10, 01:00 PM   #16
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Just messin' with you about the motorcycle, UA. ((hugs))



No, not a prick at all. You are a guy who's had experience. But the car is under his name and he will get the fine. The kids are riding in that car. It's his responsibility as a parent to make sure the kids are safe, right?
I know Siu.

Ruben is not obliged to fix every problem she has. If she can't deal with the problems, the court needs to decide the outcome.
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Old 03-02-10, 01:19 PM   #17
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For real. I swear though. Ruben always has some issues with that lady.
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Old 03-02-10, 01:25 PM   #18
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Sorry Siu, I think this is bad advice. I may be a prick, though. She has to do it without Ruben. Because they have kids is no excuse for her to use Ruben. Let her figure it out and if she can't, let the courts figure it out.
The problem is this: If you let "the safety of the kids" dictate your action, she will be continually framing every issue (and every cash shortage) as a child safety issue. Don't get drawin in.
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Old 03-02-10, 01:36 PM   #19
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Why dont you fix it and then bring the car back to your place, since it's your car? Or have I missed something? Did the courts say you have to lend her your spare car? If so, then fix it since the title is in your name. If the court did not ask you to lend the car, then bring it back home. But I htink I missed something here
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Old 03-02-10, 01:47 PM   #20
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Oh duh. What he ^^^ said.

*flicks self in forehead*
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Old 03-02-10, 01:49 PM   #21
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Rube, you had to have been tempted to get out of the car to fix it, get the wrench out, and say to the porch smoker "Hey back-door boy, you know how to work one of these?"
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Old 03-02-10, 01:55 PM   #22
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No Ruben - you are an idiot and apparently "ball-less". I'm saying that in the nicest way possible. Unless you yourself will somehow have to pay the fine ('cause Why is your name still on the title????) it's time for her to learn not to be depended on you anymore.

I would politely tell her to get an automobile club membership and then call them for help. In the meantime your only obligation is to pay child support (and hopefully all of that is in writing). It's best to distance yourself the best way possible. If she is the type to use hte kids against you (ie withhold visitation) make sure everything is in writing and legal. If she has some nearthewell boyfriend hanging about maybe you should try and get custody. That situation is horrible for children, especially young girls. I don't have to tell you why - correct?
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Old 03-02-10, 01:56 PM   #23
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OK... I called the city to see who gets the fine and you were right, whoever is on the title (is under both right now). Went back there (with a friend as witness just in case), and changed the flat with the spare tire (real tire, not cheap small rubber thingie)... fine avoided.

Per divorce decree, she is responsible for re-titling her car and I'm responsible for mine. But it looks like she's not gonna do it so I better do it to avoid liability.

But the bigger picture I'm getting is that she believes I'm supposed to solve all her issues based solely on me being the father of the kids. And IMHO, a line has to be drawn somewhere, defining where the fatherly responsibilities end and the husband responsibilities begin. Cuz I'm hot her husband anymore.
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Old 03-02-10, 01:58 PM   #24
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why do you get fined for having a flat tyre?
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Old 03-02-10, 02:02 PM   #25
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Why dont you fix it and then bring the car back to your place, since it's your car? Or have I missed something? Did the courts say you have to lend her your spare car? If so, then fix it since the title is in your name. If the court did not ask you to lend the car, then bring it back home. But I htink I missed something here
Yes... until her car is fixed. There was a dateline of course (which is already way overdue). Her car had the starter broken, that was fixed. And then, because it was parked for so long, the battery could not hold a charge anymore. So now it needs a darn battery.
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