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Old 04-15-10, 07:17 PM   #1
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Do kids do always first?

Do Kids *go* always first?

Lets consider this example...


You are on a plane with your kids. Plane is broken and people need oxygen or they will die.

Mom #1 - Starts putting a mask on her 1st baby, then the 2nd baby, but passes out and dies. Nobody put a mask on 3rd baby so he dies as well.

Mom #2 - Put herself a mask FIRST. Then put masks on all her 3 kids. Everybody survived.

Moral of the story. If you don't take care or yourself, you will never take care of your kids. Ghettos are full of mothers that placed their kids 1st. Kids before education, kids before work, kids b4 anything. Local jails are then filled with those kids, already grown up. Good luck with that plan!
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Old 04-15-10, 07:26 PM   #2
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You should read 'Freakonomics' by Levitt and Dubner. Very interesting stuff that addresses these issues uniquely among other things. But in the end, I agree.
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Old 04-15-10, 07:30 PM   #3
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Not always, but the majority of the time - kids come first.
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Old 04-15-10, 07:55 PM   #4
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The airline example #2 is how you're shown to do it in the pre-flight safety briefing... at least, it was the last time I flew. ('96)

In general, the only reason an adult should precede a child is so the adult can CATCH or assist the child in an otherwise-impossible situation.
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Old 04-15-10, 08:06 PM   #5
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I think that I would put the well being and future of my children in first place when making a decision of major import, like career, education, living area, etc. If I had to sacrifice something that I wanted to do in order to better my kids I would. And I understand sacrifice. It was one year ago on Good Friday that my wife presented me with a letter that I thought was the end of our marriage. I had to sit down and do some SERIOUS soul searching and then seek therapy. One year later and we are still married, and I am doing so much better mentally, emotionally, spiritually. There is not an aspect of my life that has not changed, but only because I wanted to make the changes and the only person I can change is me.

Kids need structure and discipline and certainty in there lives.
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Old 04-15-10, 08:07 PM   #6
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The airline example #2 is how you're shown to do it in the pre-flight safety briefing... at least, it was the last time I flew. ('96)

In general, the only reason an adult should precede a child is so the adult can CATCH or assist the child in an otherwise-impossible situation.
Exactly.
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Old 04-15-10, 08:13 PM   #7
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I admire jsharr for his efforts, I tried to do similar , but failed.

Anyway... I, like most people, like for my kids the same things jsharr mentioned. But to get there, some people have to place the kids in 2nd place for a while.

Consider a single mother with 2 pre-school babies and no father in sight. No education, no job, living on welfare and section 8. There are plans where the gov will pay the daycare so this woman could go to school. But that require placing studies BEFORE kids for a while. All I'm saying is that sometimes, depending on your circumstances, in order to have your kids 1st, you have to make them 2nd for some time... otherwise you gonna run out of gas before you finish raising them properly.
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Old 04-15-10, 08:24 PM   #8
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Depends, if you're George Costanza kids definitely go last.
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Old 04-15-10, 08:32 PM   #9
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I admire jsharr for his efforts, I tried to do similar , but failed.

Anyway... I, like most people, like for my kids the same things jsharr mentioned. But to get there, some people have to place the kids in 2nd place for a while.

Consider a single mother with 2 pre-school babies and no father in sight. No education, no job, living on welfare and section 8. There are plans where the gov will pay the daycare so this woman could go to school. But that require placing studies BEFORE kids for a while. All I'm saying is that sometimes, depending on your circumstances, in order to have your kids 1st, you have to make them 2nd for some time... otherwise you gonna run out of gas before you finish raising them properly.
Maybe I don't get this. How is this placing kids 2nd if what you are doing is for them?
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Old 04-15-10, 08:32 PM   #10
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I admire jsharr for his efforts, I tried to do similar , but failed.

Anyway... I, like most people, like for my kids the same things jsharr mentioned. But to get there, some people have to place the kids in 2nd place for a while.

Consider a single mother with 2 pre-school babies and no father in sight. No education, no job, living on welfare and section 8. There are plans where the gov will pay the daycare so this woman could go to school. But that require placing studies BEFORE kids for a while. All I'm saying is that sometimes, depending on your circumstances, in order to have your kids 1st, you have to make them 2nd for some time... otherwise you gonna run out of gas before you finish raising them properly.
Maybe I don't get this. How is this placing kids 2nd if what you are doing is for them?
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Old 04-15-10, 08:33 PM   #11
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Do Kids *go* always first?

Lets consider this example...


You are on a plane with your kids. Plane is broken and people need oxygen or they will die.

Mom #1 - Starts putting a mask on her 1st baby, then the 2nd baby, but passes out and dies. Nobody put a mask on 3rd baby so he dies as well.

Mom #2 - Put herself a mask FIRST. Then put masks on all her 3 kids. Everybody survived.

Moral of the story. If you don't take care or yourself, you will never take care of your kids. Ghettos are full of mothers that placed their kids 1st. Kids before education, kids before work, kids b4 anything. Local jails are then filled with those kids, already grown up. Good luck with that plan!
It's a decent analogy but analogies are never perfect, and taken to extremes can break down entirely. Somebody might take that as meaning they should put their every wish in front of their kids' basic needs.
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Old 04-15-10, 08:38 PM   #12
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Ruben, you are the father of two children. That does not ever change. Everything that you do affects your children in one way or another. To answer your question, yes, the children always come first. Sometimes that means putting your oxygen mask on first so you can be around for them after you all walk away from the wreckage. However, you have to walk away from the wreckage and deal with the trauma before you step onto another plane.
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Old 04-15-10, 08:41 PM   #13
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Maybe I don't get this. How is this placing kids 2nd if what you are doing is for them?
Sorry Siu for being confusing. Let me clarify. What I'm trying to get at is that having a Dad that grows old alone and never marries because he only dedicates to his kids, might not be the best idea on every case. Kids need a *happy* dad. And daddy needs some other things to be happy. It's a balancing act that every divorce parent with kids can relate. But *is not* placing the kids last. And much less "traumatize them for life" or "kick'em like dogs".
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Old 04-15-10, 08:46 PM   #14
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Actually, I'm father of 4. But just 2 are left alive.
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Old 04-15-10, 08:47 PM   #15
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Wait, I mis-understood the first post. I thought you meant these people were having children before doing these things. Which I suppose they are, but a complete different point and argument... That's still a good book though.
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Old 04-15-10, 08:49 PM   #16
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Sorry Siu for being confusing. Let me clarify. What I'm trying to get at is that having a Dad that grows old alone and never marries because he only dedicates to his kids, might not be the best idea on every case. Kids need a *happy* dad. And daddy needs some other things to be happy. It's a balancing act that every divorce parent with kids can relate. But *is not* placing the kids last. And much less "traumatize them for life" or "kick'em like dogs".

Oh... Um.... I get your point.

Errr.. I could be wrong, but

I don't think she meant it that way. I think she just meant for you to be careful in managing your time spent with her vs with the kids (now that time with them would be sacrificed) And as for the dog thing, I thinks she was saying that even though the kids may be needing you more during the parent split up, you may not really see it because no matter what they will always come running to daddy because they love him, even if you don't spend that much time with them. Because they will cherish what they have.
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Old 04-15-10, 08:51 PM   #17
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Nothing is absolute, everything depends on the circumstances. People should not judge until they know all variables. And if they do, they should be prepared to defend their points in debate.

somebody translate this one : "Todo es del color del cristal con que se mira".
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Old 04-15-10, 09:01 PM   #18
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Fact 1. If you need the mask to save your life, it won't.
Fact 2. If you got it on and you didn't pass out, you didn't need it.
Fact 3. If you didn't get the mask on, it will be the last thing you see when you pass out. It will however be the first thing you see when you awake.

Just a friendly public service announcement.

Back to your inflight movie.
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Old 04-15-10, 09:03 PM   #19
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[QUOTE=RubenX;10677981]Nothing is absolute, everything depends on the circumstances. People should not judge until they know all variables. And if they do, they should be prepared to defend their points in debate.

somebody translate this one : "Todo es del color del cristal con que se mira".[/QUOTE]

"lets do a shot of crystal skull vodka"?
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Old 04-15-10, 09:06 PM   #20
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Funny, but no.

Literary translates as "Everything looks like the color of the crystal you are looking it trough" ... not sure if there is a slang translation that might be different but mean the same.
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Old 04-15-10, 09:10 PM   #21
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Funny, but no.

Literary translates as "Everything looks like the color of the crystal you are looking it trough" ... not sure if there is a slang translation that might be different but mean the same.
"Looking at the world through rose colored glasses"
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Old 04-15-10, 09:15 PM   #22
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somebody translate this one : "Todo es del color del cristal con que se mira".
Everything is of the color of the crystal whereupon it is watched
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Old 04-15-10, 09:17 PM   #23
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Do Kids *go* always first?
Your own kids or kids in general? What if there's a screaming baby in the seat next to mine? Can I put my mask on then cut the hose to its mask?
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Old 04-15-10, 09:24 PM   #24
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Nothing is absolute, everything depends on the circumstances. People should not judge until they know all variables. And if they do, they should be prepared to defend their points in debate.

somebody translate this one : "Todo es del color del cristal con que se mira".
then again,"the senoritas all get prettier at closing time"
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Old 04-16-10, 07:58 AM   #25
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I'm a rather evil person when it come to kids (I HATE the little things), so kids never come first in my book.

It's a good thing I'm going to get married or have kids.
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