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Old 06-17-10, 06:35 AM   #1
ilikebikes
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Friends? How many of us has them? (not the song! LOL!)

I was just sitting here wondering about friends, do any of us really have a true friend? you know? That person that after time you think you know? The person you've spoken to about everything in your life both public and private? The person that say's their your friend forever? Say's they'll be there for you through thick or thin, happy or sad, high and low, sickness and health? Well that person (in my life) turned out to everything but my "best friend!" I'm not going to get into to many details, I'll just say this happened around 2 and a half years ago, when I needed this person most (illness) I was dumped cold bloodedly and without warning, then given a lame excuse a few weeks later! I'm wondering if anyone else has had this hapen to them? Maybe you were the one "dumped" by your supposed "best friend." Maybe your the piece of **** (sorry, but its how I feel....nothin' personal.) that did the dumping? Either way I'd be happy to hear both sides of the story 'cause no matter how long I sit here wondering what this was really all about I can't seem to understand why my "best friend" would do this to me? To keep it fresh I'll repaet the fact that this happened some time ago, like 2 and 1/2? maybe three years ago? I was given a reason but it sounded more like a lame excuse, 'cause like I mentioned, we were supposed to be best friends no matter what. Opinions will be appreciated.
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Old 06-17-10, 06:46 AM   #2
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Sorry to hear that.

I have two true friends. Joy and a friend that has been with me through good and bad times and whom I've always been able to count on. I have another friend who I feel could be like that, as well, but we haven't been friends as long.
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Old 06-17-10, 06:52 AM   #3
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I've had the same best friend for 22 years, and you just reminded me to be thankful for it. I've got a great dog, too.
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Old 06-17-10, 07:01 AM   #4
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I lost touch with all of my old friends when I had kids. it takes over your life, especially when you don't have money (which we definitely didn't!). I have friends that I share everything with, but they are untested by life's trials, and hopefully will be for a while.

...and I've definitely been ditched by friends (and family!) when things have been tough for me, though my family has helped me a lot in other times. during the toughest time, the only person that stuck by me was my ex-wife. so while my mother prefers to portray her as a cartoon villain (actually, my friends did too), I've always stuck up for her. it didn't work out happily (obviously), and I wish she had handled things (much) differently, but she was the only one and that will always stick with me and that earns a number of "get out of jail free" cards in my book. of course she is also the mother of my kids, so we had to work together when the kids were kids.
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Old 06-17-10, 07:27 AM   #5
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why would you be reliant on friends? they are for good company and fun times. that's the deal.
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Old 06-17-10, 07:49 AM   #6
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why would you be reliant on friends? they are for good company and fun times. that's the deal.
So friends are people that use each other for good company and fun times, and when times get rough they can turn their backs on each other! Oh! OK! in that case I have a few people I'd like you to meet, they meet your "friend" requirements perfectly. ;0)
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You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

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Old 06-17-10, 07:52 AM   #7
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Nope; no friends. Just acquaintances.
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Old 06-17-10, 07:59 AM   #8
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So friends are people that use each other! Oh! OK! in that case I have a few people I'd like you to meet.
That's not quite what i said. Some people are so needy they have to have friends' emotional support. That is good to have in difficult times, but to be reliant on it is always going to be inferior to being self reliant. They can let you down and friends that don't are very rare.
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Old 06-17-10, 08:03 AM   #9
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That's not quite what i said. Some people are so needy they have to have friends' emotional support. That is good to have in difficult times, but to be reliant on it is always going to be inferior to being self reliant. They can let you down and friends that don't are very rare.
Your right, you didn't say that, but it was implied, purposely or not it was implied. BTW no, I'm not needy. I went through severe depression twice, alone, no friends, no doctors, no meds, my choice. I'm alive and well, thing is this, as a friend don't say **** you can't back up. Period.
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You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

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Old 06-17-10, 08:05 AM   #10
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No, not needy. I went through depression twice, alone, no friends, no doctors, my choice. I'm alive and well, thing is this, as a friend don't say **** you can't back up. Period.
It is better to have good friends in those times, but being able to cope without them is better because they might not be there when you need them.
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Old 06-17-10, 08:10 AM   #11
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It is better to have good friends in those times, but being able to cope without them is better because they might not be there when you need them.

thats exactly why I have only two friends that have shown me (and I them) that we can indeed count on each other during these times as well as other not so dire times. =0)
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You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

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Old 06-17-10, 08:12 AM   #12
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So friends are people that use each other for good company and fun times, and when times get rough they can turn their backs on each other! Oh! OK! in that case I have a few people I'd like you to meet, they meet your "friend" requirements perfectly. ;0)
I'll introduce you to some of those bastards I know too! Real bastards.
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Old 06-17-10, 08:15 AM   #13
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No expectations, no disappointments - that's what I learned!


I agree that real friends do show their true colors when times get tough. During my cancer issue I had a really negative view on the whole situation, not wanting to fight and go through all agonizing treatments, only to lose. I've witnessed way too many of my family members struggle and dream of survival only to wither away.

My family was with me every step of the way, for we had been through this many times before. Sometimes they used the HTFU attitude with me because at times I just was very stubborn. But they never gave up on me. Till this day I wear a ring my sister gave me around my neck. A lot of the pics of me posted here shows it. Long story short, the ring means to never look back, to keep going forward. My sister is my best friend.

My boss. He also was there for me, was very patient and saw me through the cycle of upsets and of joy that one goes through during a time like this. He supported me through the doctor appts and gave me wise words when he saw I needed them. He is very loyal to me - he told me that he'd fight for me till death if need be (but I better be right!) He's more like a brother to me than anything, and I will do for him as he does for me.

I got a lot of support from people that have never met me in person here. Believe it or not, the PM's and words of support helped me to get through things. I learned a lot from you. I thank you all for that.

I have to admit that the one person here on Bike Forums that stood by me was Michigander. Although I would get mad at him for nagging me, he stayed with me throughout the whole ordeal, through the doctor appointments, through my nutritional needs....giving me inspiration and hope. He came to visit me from across country and supported me during the time when I really needed it. He also gave me something to look forward to - a vintage project bike so I'd have something to build up, a reason to not to quit - he made me promise that I would ride that bike. He was with me through the tough nights and stayed awake with me. The way he has enriched my life I will never EVER forget. I have been truly blessed by this friendship. One that I know in my heart will never die. And he knows that if he EVER needs me, he can come to me. I'll always be there for him too.

Only one person bailed on me during this. But that's okay. I didn't really expect someone, ANYONE to feel like they had to stick around. He had his own life to conduct and I'm sure it was busy. I for one thing did not want to be a rotten apple in his basket of fruit.
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

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Old 06-17-10, 08:16 AM   #14
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I'll introduce you to some of those bastards I know too! Real bastards.
No thanks, over the years I've slowly shedded all my bastards, don't want to start all over again! ;0)
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You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve
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Old 06-17-10, 08:23 AM   #15
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thats exactly why I have only two friends that have shown me (and I them) that we can indeed count on each other during these times as well as other not so dire times. =0)
*ahem*
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 06-17-10, 08:27 AM   #16
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Only one person bailed on me during this. But that's okay. He had his own life to conduct and I'm sure it was busy. I for one thing did not want to be a rotten apple in his basket of fruit.
Does this person live in Phillly? (I live in Philly) 'cause they sound just like my ex best friend/piece of ****! LOL! this person told me that she was tired from work and family and didn't have time to deal with my "thing." Even though I got out of a warm bed and by their side at 3A.M. when they were having thier medical problem.
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You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve
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Old 06-17-10, 08:35 AM   #17
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Don't trust humans.

At least half of them are below average.
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Old 06-17-10, 08:36 AM   #18
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Don't trust humans.

At least half of them are below average.
90%

bitter? me?
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Old 06-17-10, 08:39 AM   #19
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*ahem*
your one of the two ding dong! ;0)
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You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

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Old 06-17-10, 08:42 AM   #20
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Don't trust humans.

At least half of them are below average.
I havn't trusted humans for some time now, but I have to say this: Humans are at their best when things are at their worst. Some more than others.
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You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve
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Old 06-17-10, 08:45 AM   #21
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people suck!
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Old 06-17-10, 08:52 AM   #22
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Does this person live in Phillly? (I live in Philly) 'cause they sound just like my ex best friend/piece of ****! LOL! this person told me that she was tired from work and family and didn't have time to deal with my "thing." Even though I got out of a warm bed and by their side at 3A.M. when they were having thier medical problem.
Well I don't want to target any town but dang..She's in Philly?

I know you can be a jerk too if you wanted to be. So it's a Philly thing? What's with Philly people? But I also know you won't ever let your friends down. You've proven that. You better move or me exposing this is gonna cramp your Phillyness.
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 06-17-10, 09:12 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
No expectations, no disappointments - that's what I learned!


I agree that real friends do show their true colors when times get tough. During my cancer issue I had a really negative view on the whole situation, not wanting to fight and go through all agonizing treatments, only to lose. I've witnessed way too many of my family members struggle and dream of survival only to wither away.

My family was with me every step of the way, for we had been through this many times before. Sometimes they used the HTFU attitude with me because at times I just was very stubborn. But they never gave up on me. Till this day I wear a ring my sister gave me around my neck. A lot of the pics of me posted here shows it. Long story short, the ring means to never look back, to keep going forward. My sister is my best friend.

My boss. He also was there for me, was very patient and saw me through the cycle of upsets and of joy that one goes through during a time like this. He supported me through the doctor appts and gave me wise words when he saw I needed them. He is very loyal to me - he told me that he'd fight for me till death if need be (but I better be right!) He's more like a brother to me than anything, and I will do for him as he does for me.

I got a lot of support from people that have never met me in person here. Believe it or not, the PM's and words of support helped me to get through things. I learned a lot from you. I thank you all for that.

I have to admit that the one person here on Bike Forums that stood by me was Michigander. Although I would get mad at him for nagging me, he stayed with me throughout the whole ordeal, through the doctor appointments, through my nutritional needs....giving me inspiration and hope. He came to visit me from across country and supported me during the time when I really needed it. He also gave me something to look forward to - a vintage project bike so I'd have something to build up, a reason to not to quit - he made me promise that I would ride that bike. He was with me through the tough nights and stayed awake with me. The way he has enriched my life I will never EVER forget. I have been truly blessed by this friendship. One that I know in my heart will never die. And he knows that if he EVER needs me, he can come to me. I'll always be there for him too.

Only one person bailed on me during this. But that's okay. I didn't really expect someone, ANYONE to feel like they had to stick around. He had his own life to conduct and I'm sure it was busy. I for one thing did not want to be a rotten apple in his basket of fruit.
now we're talking serious serious stuff.

what about your husband and kids? I know that immediate family can sometimes be the source of the greatest disappointment, at least at first.
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Old 06-17-10, 09:29 AM   #24
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My man is supportive and everyone here already knows that! And that's what brings so much joy into my life. And as for my kid, he's such a good boy...good grades and a fantastic basketball player, with scouts watching him. As a matter of fact I went shopping for his first car and came home with this Wednesday: (sorry for the cell phone pics)







No, I didn't get the Porsche...

Got a model in the family too! Crazy schedule but now he has his own little flock of fans, it's funny. He loves it mainly for the free clothes....well, and the pay. But yes, they have been through a lot and have not let me down. I'm pretty lucky.
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We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
Quote:
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

Last edited by Siu Blue Wind; 06-17-10 at 09:40 AM.
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Old 06-17-10, 10:11 AM   #25
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Siu... I'm glad that you are still married to the guy you were married to when I was last posting on here in 2007. nice car as well! nothing like having two incomes, eh?

glad to see some examples of people sticking with people, given some of the stories we've heard so far.
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