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Old 06-28-10, 05:53 PM   #1
Tom Stormcrowe
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How to tell a cycling fanatic

Here are my criteria, as they apply to me:
  1. You manage a very large internet forum...................about bicycling
  2. You own a car, it gets less than 5,000 miles a year
  3. Any one of your bikes cost MORE than said car
  4. N+1? Is it really an option, or is it a mandate?
  5. Your closet has more cycling clothes than business suits
  6. You have a really wierd suntan, including a reverse raccoon tan because of your sunglasses, and your facial tan ends in the middle of your forehead at the helmet line
  7. If you are bald, your scalp has leopard spot tanning that matches your helmet vents

Add to the list!
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Old 06-28-10, 06:33 PM   #2
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My helmet tan, when I was shaving my noggin, was always front to back in 1/2 inch stripes. Very odd looking, indeed. They actually peeled once. Thank God for hats.

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Old 06-28-10, 07:05 PM   #3
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8. You tell your co workers to HTFU and they have to ask what it means.
9. When your friend tells you about her breast enlargement and she mentions 'nipples', you get a bit of confusion for a second because you immediately picture spokes protruding out from them.
10. When someone mentions the work 'Park' you see in your mind blue rather than green.
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Old 06-28-10, 07:13 PM   #4
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I got 2, 3, 5, 6.

What's N+1?
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Old 06-28-10, 07:13 PM   #5
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9. When your friend tells you about her breast enlargement and she mentions 'nipples', you get a bit of confusion for a second because you immediately picture spokes protruding out from them.
I'm not a cycling fanatic.
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Old 06-28-10, 08:10 PM   #6
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I got 2, 3, 5, 6.

What's N+1?
N is the current number of bikes you own. N+1 means the next bike you will purchase.
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Old 06-28-10, 09:17 PM   #7
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11. You forget your rain gear on a day of predicted T-storms... and don't really care.
12. You put a blemish (scratch, dent, etc.) on your already-blemished bike and feel the pain for weeks afterward.
13. When your detached garage is (temporarily) taken over by local wildlife, you're more concerned about your bike(s) than your garage.
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Old 06-28-10, 09:43 PM   #8
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14. You go into convulsions trying to convince a coworker to spend $300 at an LBS instead of $100 at Walmart, and then the rest of your coworkers think you're a weirdo jerk for it.
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Old 06-28-10, 10:09 PM   #9
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I've owned my van for 3 years and put 7000 miles on it.
So there.
Except that I am going on a road trip totaling 3000 miles RT to move a certain someone here.
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Old 06-28-10, 10:15 PM   #10
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15. You refuse to wave at others while riding.
16. You're part of a never ending thread on the merits - or not - of cycling helmets.
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Old 06-28-10, 11:00 PM   #11
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17. You mention anodized nipples, and mistake the look on the listener's face for admiration.
18. You store an item weighing exactly 1 gram in a safe place... for reference.
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Old 06-29-10, 07:22 AM   #12
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I got 2, 3, 5, 6.
What's N+1?
N+1=the ideal number of bikes to own with N being defined as the number you currently own.
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Old 06-29-10, 04:47 PM   #13
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your junk mail consists of bicycle-related catalogs
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Old 06-29-10, 05:30 PM   #14
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11. You forget your rain gear on a day of predicted T-storms... and don't really care.
12. You put a blemish (scratch, dent, etc.) on your already-blemished bike and feel the pain for weeks afterward.
13. When your detached garage is (temporarily) taken over by local wildlife, you're more concerned about your bike(s) than your garage.
Am I still a bike fanatic if it is only an attempt and I'm more worried about the puppies knocking over the bike than getting the bloodstains out of the garage floor? (Oh short of a bear the puppies will win and grin).
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Old 06-29-10, 06:05 PM   #15
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You set up your web browser to auto load Bike Forums when launching.
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Old 06-29-10, 07:31 PM   #16
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Funny, Keith, I never considered puppies as wildlife....

This one, for me, came out of a raccoon making himself at home in my rafters.
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Old 06-30-10, 12:07 AM   #17
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You can build a bike or two with with the spare parts in your garage.
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Old 06-30-10, 05:50 AM   #18
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when, as a male, you do not flinch when you talk about putting on tights
when you wander the local neighbourhood scouting out white garage doors
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Old 06-30-10, 08:00 AM   #19
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when, as a male, you do not flinch when you talk about putting on tights
when you wander the local neighbourhood scouting out white garage doors
Humor me - white garage doors??
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Old 06-30-10, 08:03 AM   #20
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Humor me - white garage doors??

The classic background used for taking pictures of your bicycle. Be sure that your valve stems and cranks are in the approved position or you will never hear the end of it. And flip that stem, too.
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Old 06-30-10, 08:10 AM   #21
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When you think a boat anchor is a great background for a yellow bike.

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Old 06-30-10, 08:13 AM   #22
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Positive to 2,5, and 6 . Is that enough to qualify..? I think, if you put more miles on your bikes than you do your car, that alone should be enough..
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Old 06-30-10, 10:03 AM   #23
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Humor me - white garage doors??

you mean you take pictures of your bike willy nilly without consideration of the correct etiquette?

good grief! what is the world coming to?
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Old 06-30-10, 10:08 AM   #24
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Except that I am going on a road trip totaling 3000 miles RT to move a certain someone here.
So you picked up an import, eh?
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Old 06-30-10, 11:10 AM   #25
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When you think a boat anchor is a great background for a yellow bike.

You tell a cycling fanatic by his black socks and sneakers?
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