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Old 08-20-10, 08:34 PM   #1
Siu Blue Wind
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Stupid things you catch yourself doing.

I was cleaning the grease off of the the de-greaser dispenser.... with the contents of the dispenser.
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Old 08-20-10, 09:49 PM   #2
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On the subject of grease...

I once spent an afternoon making stock from the carcass left over from the Thanksgiving turkey. Then I poured the stock into the colander to separate the liquid from the skin and bones. So I was left with a colander full of skin and bones while the stock ran away down the plughole.
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Old 08-20-10, 10:52 PM   #3
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Oh that sucks.

I dropped my huge knife and tried to catch it before it hit the floor so it wouldn't damage the blade.

I damaged my fingers instead.
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Old 08-20-10, 11:02 PM   #4
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Oh that sucks.

I dropped my huge knife and tried to catch it before it hit the floor so it wouldn't damage the blade.

I damaged my fingers instead.
Good job fingers grown back, eh?

I once stuck out my foot to 'catch' a falling knife. Amazingly, the point went between my big and second toes. I didn't even draw blood although I ended up with a hole in my tennis shoe and my sock.

Wanna hear another stupid thing I caught myself doing just last week? Slammed the car door shut and then noticed the keys swinging in the ignition. To my intense relief, I realized that I hadn't pushed down the door lock button first. Thinking to myself "Phew, that was a stroke of luck!" I opened the door, pushed down the door lock button and slammed the door shut again. Then I noticed the keys swinging...

Oh, I could go on all night.
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Old 08-20-10, 11:19 PM   #5
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Good job fingers grown back, eh?

I once stuck out my foot to 'catch' a falling knife. Amazingly, the point went between my big and second toes. I didn't even draw blood although I ended up with a hole in my tennis shoe and my sock.

Wanna hear another stupid thing I caught myself doing just last week? Slammed the car door shut and then noticed the keys swinging in the ignition. To my intense relief, I realized that I hadn't pushed down the door lock button first. Thinking to myself "Phew, that was a stroke of luck!" I opened the door, pushed down the door lock button and slammed the door shut again. Then I noticed the keys swinging...

Oh, I could go on all night.
I hope you don't own any thermonuclear devices.
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Old 08-20-10, 11:37 PM   #6
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Hey Connell? I kinda like you....you sound a lot like me!

Go on, I wanna hear more!!

Okay here's one for you about my dog. One night after she had healed almost completely from her spay and I was cleaning around the area, I had noticed that there was a bump where her surgery was and a dark thing underneath. It was a couple of inches long and it looked a lot like the dr had left some of whatever they did the stitches with inside of her, just under her skin! So I called, described the concern and took her in.

Well lo and behold, it wasn't anything they left in her, it was a tattoo that they put across the cut so that if another dr should check her, he'd know she was spayed. The bump was the scar tissue.
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

Last edited by Siu Blue Wind; 08-20-10 at 11:41 PM.
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Old 08-20-10, 11:43 PM   #7
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I post in Foo sometimes.
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Old 08-21-10, 12:41 AM   #8
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Hey Connell? I kinda like you....you sound a lot like me!

Go on, I wanna hear more!!
So a few years ago I worked opposite a really good Italian restaurant, ideal for lunch. My favorite dish was some chicken thingy in a red wine sauce. The sauce wasn't red, it was a kind of purple grape color but it was darn tasty and I had it often.

But one time I ordered it prior to making an important presentation to a potential client. When I was wearing a white shirt and chinos. Obviously I dropped a piece on me. Now if I'd just let it fall, the situation may have been salvageable. But no. I had to do an energetic, flailing, St. Vitus dance type move in my attempts to get out of the way. The chicken ended up bouncing across my chest, along one arm and down both legs before coming to rest in my pants cuff. The waitress did her best with the club soda but it was no use.

And of course there was no time to go home to change so I had to make my presentation looking like a victim from a badly produced slasher flick.

But the chicken really was very good.
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Old 08-21-10, 12:53 AM   #9
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I woke up in a shock one morning when I heard the street sweeper coming. I bolted out of bed, threw on a robe and hurriedly moved three cars across the street. I retreated back into the house, glanced out the window with a smile to celebrate my win and then saw the cop putting tickets on my cars.

I moved them to the proper side the night before and had forgotten.
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Old 08-21-10, 12:57 AM   #10
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I woke up in a shock one morning when I heard the street sweeper coming. I bolted out of bed, threw on a robe and hurriedly moved three cars across the street. I retreated back into the house, glanced out the window with a smile to celebrate my win and then saw the cop putting tickets on my cars.

I moved them to the proper side the night before and had forgotten.
I shouldn't laff...but I did.

OK, I'm off to bed. You're in charge.

'night foo.
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Old 08-21-10, 06:07 AM   #11
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......filling up my cereal bowl with milk, then proceeding to put the bowl with the spoon in it, in the fridge, and sit down with the gallon of milk...WTF.
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Old 08-21-10, 07:00 PM   #12
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......filling up my cereal bowl with milk, then proceeding to put the bowl with the spoon in it, in the fridge, and sit down with the gallon of milk...WTF.
lol. i caught my dad throwing away a frozen pizza right after he put the cardboard box in the 450* oven. XD
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Old 08-21-10, 09:00 PM   #13
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Poor cereal into bowl, open fridge, grab bottle of juice, and poor juice onto cereal. Dod gammit fother mucking bun of a sitch!

dump out ruined cereal and juice, rinse out and dry bowl, poor more cereal, open fridge, grab bottle of juice....

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Dod gammit....
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Old 08-22-10, 11:19 AM   #14
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^^^



Last night I caught myself getting into the wrong car. It was late, dark and I swore it was mine. What made me realize it was when I got in, there was no navigation screen. whoops.
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 08-22-10, 12:13 PM   #15
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Cool. I get to post one now.


So last night I'm walking the dog, Sly. We get past the trail, and he wants to go down into it (it starts steeply downhill) even though it's night and I have no night prep (flashlight, cell phone, some type of weapon).

Anyway, I get to thinking about the "oasis" thread, and say to myself "gee, why not..after all, the forest is your oasis".


Bad idea.


As we near the end of the trail, it levels out into the forest. I have Sly, so my eyes try to adjust but I'm not too freaked out for snakes, bears, and getting lost because he has super dog senses right? Wrong.

Dogs can't sense quicksand.

Or quick mud, as the case is with Georgia red clay.

The ground started to feel like a waterbed and since it was so dark, and I could feel grassy/weedy things growing under my sandals so I kept walking, even though it felt weird like the ground was making waves. The mossy bed mad me think it was solid ground. Then all of a sudden, there I was, inside the earth up to my knees. The more I struggled, the worse it was, but I had Sly on the leash and he freaked out and started running, pulling me out of the bog. I lost bot my shoes and my legs were scratched up from whatever was growing down there (roots, vines?).

I had to walk the remaining mile home barefoot, filled with adrenaline covered in mud and scratches.


What a stupid way to lose a good pair of sandals.
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Old 08-22-10, 12:26 PM   #16
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I made a bowl of cereal and a nice cup of black tea at the same time. You can guess the rest.
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Old 08-22-10, 12:38 PM   #17
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I catch myself saying "open" and "close" when referring to turning electric/electronic devices on and off. Like, "open the TV, I want to watch White Collar" or "close the lights when you're not using them, dammit!!!" In my defense, it's not just me who does this; many other Asians do it as well.
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Old 08-22-10, 12:46 PM   #18
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Mods, I would like to make this thread my personal daily blog.
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Old 08-22-10, 01:26 PM   #19
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I don't do stupid things?
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Old 08-22-10, 02:22 PM   #20
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Do marriages count?
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Old 08-22-10, 04:40 PM   #21
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Do marriages count?

Depends. Did you catch yourself or did you get caught?
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