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Old 08-26-10, 02:36 PM   #1
cuda2k
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Ask the Stoned Guy thread - often imitated, never duplicated. August 2010 edition

Yup time again for me to have my semi-yearly (or so it seems) round of surgery to stay one step ahead of my skin's desire to kill me. This time there are only 3 cuts scheduled, the first was this afternoon, just below the knee on the inside of my leg. Let's just say I won't be riding any time soon with this one.

As a side benefit to you all in Foo, as it has become tradition, once I get hopped up on some Hydrocodone, I'm here to answer your questions about life, the universe and everything. So let the questions start rolling, I'll be back in about an hour to start the pondering on the answers.
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Old 08-26-10, 02:55 PM   #2
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This is the first thing I thought of.

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Old 08-26-10, 03:42 PM   #3
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is the universe expanding or contracting?
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Old 08-26-10, 03:42 PM   #4
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why do i lose one sock every time i wash my clothes?
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Old 08-26-10, 03:42 PM   #5
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Are your guns all locked up?
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 08-26-10, 03:46 PM   #6
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what does Hydrocodone feel when you take it? is it prescription only?
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Old 08-26-10, 03:47 PM   #7
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why don't beans make me fart anymore?
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Old 08-26-10, 03:47 PM   #8
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where do ducks go in the winter?
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Old 08-26-10, 03:48 PM   #9
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do the ends justify the means?
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Old 08-26-10, 03:48 PM   #10
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will my stream of consciousness ever end?
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Old 08-26-10, 03:49 PM   #11
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why are women always right?
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Old 08-26-10, 03:59 PM   #12
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What if, somewhere, in some alternate reality plane of existence, there really were answers to all our rhetorical questions? That would explain a lot.
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Old 08-26-10, 04:04 PM   #13
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is the universe expanding or contracting?
At the moment, I would say it's closer to a swirling motion. But that may just be me.

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why do i lose one sock every time i wash my clothes?
Ask a woman, they're the ones that are always correct right? Seriously though, if you lose a sock every time you wash, perhaps you should stop taking drugs before doing laundry.

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Are your guns all locked up?
Affirmative. So is the reloading equipment.

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what does Hydrocodone feel when you take it? is it prescription only?
I can't imagine that hydrocodone feels very good when I take it. Stomach acid isn't a pleasant thing to be dunked into. And I don't think the burger and fries I had just before did too much towards providing safe haven for a poor little white pill or two.

Yes, it is a script only.
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Old 08-26-10, 04:08 PM   #14
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why don't beans make me fart anymore?
Are you still breathing? your heart still beating? Just checking these possible causes first.

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where do ducks go in the winter?
I hear Cuba is safe from most hunters these days...

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do the ends justify the means?
The end of what? Is this a message from my skin informing me that it is not pleased that I keep cutting out it's bastains of evil and darkness?

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will my stream of consciousness ever end?
Probably. But I'm not a fortune teller. I can tell you what I think, or what my mind thinks, or what thoughts are in my mind, not sure if its thinking or just randomly bouncing. Bounce bounce bounce.
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Old 08-26-10, 04:10 PM   #15
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why are women always right?
They make it that way. They are crafty ones the women. But they're also cute, so they are allowed to be.

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What if, somewhere, in some alternate reality plane of existence, there really were answers to all our rhetorical questions? That would explain a lot.
Of course there is an alternative reality plane of existance where your rhetorical questions have answers! There is I tell you! And in my hand there is but the single bottle of that which allows me to peer through the fog of space and time which seperates our reality form that.
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Old 08-26-10, 04:12 PM   #16
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thanks. i am enlightened.
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Old 08-26-10, 04:12 PM   #17
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You are on your own here partner... am not nearly stoned enough today to help out.

Unless you want to share your drugs with me.
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Old 08-26-10, 04:22 PM   #18
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..., once I get hopped up on some Hydrocodone,...
You do realize, of course, that Hydrocodone has a down side; it will bind your ass up? Take too many, and you won't **** for a week.

The up side to that is, you'll have a good excuse when people tell you you're full of ****.
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Old 08-26-10, 04:27 PM   #19
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Steel is so last century for bike frames, why on earth do people still insist on using it?
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Old 08-26-10, 04:38 PM   #20
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Will your lesions have clear margins?
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Old 08-26-10, 04:57 PM   #21
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You do realize, of course, that Hydrocodone has a down side; it will bind your ass up? Take too many, and you won't **** for a week.

The up side to that is, you'll have a good excuse when people tell you you're full of ****.
I never need an excuse for that claim. I'll leave it to you to decide if that's because I'm always full of it, or I never am.

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Steel is so last century for bike frames, why on earth do people still insist on using it?
carbon mutters, aluminum screams, steel sings.

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Will your lesions have clear margins?
Sure hope so. These are dysplasic, but with a history of malenoma, we can't be too careful.
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Old 08-26-10, 07:25 PM   #22
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Vuelta on Universal Sports - it would be greatness even if I wasn't on drugs!
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Old 08-26-10, 10:15 PM   #23
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So...no trip to Wichita Falls on Saturday, eh?
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Old 08-27-10, 09:55 AM   #24
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That would be a negative there dstrong. Tomorrow I plan on sleeping late, maybe limping out to the back patio to have breakfast, then enjoy the rest of the day indoors and in the A/C. Closest to cycling I'll be doing any time soon is watching it on TV or hanging out with some of the club members post-ride.

// what, don't tell me Foo is out of questions.
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Old 08-27-10, 09:57 AM   #25
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What should I have for lunch, the Healthy Choice in the freezer, or the chocolate cake in the fridge?
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Quote:
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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